here is the latest on "candles"
my buddy nick messaged me on twitter today asking if i’m into candles. friends, i’m into anything that is on fire on purpose.
when it comes to candles, if it smells like a cemetery or field hockey practice in central jersey, i simply must have it. unless it’s over $50, or not vegan.
i go mostly for performance over aesthetic – my apartment is usually dark or drenched in neon, and i have a cat who literally runs this place, so i don’t try to invest in fancy candle holders. that being said, i don’t (live laugh) tolerate corny phrases or weird shit on the candles, no matter what etsy seems to think.
typically i’ll have 3 candles in rotation, one for each possible state you will find me at any given moment: working, cleaning, and being horny. let’s go over this season’s rotation:
note: none of the links below are affiliate links, not that i think that matters - i just see bloggers saying stuff like that all the time and i’m just trying to fit in. i wish they were affiliate links and that yankee candle would make me a paid influencer, ok back to the list,,,,,,
i am an indoor cat, but i like to bring the outdoors into my working space with, what i call, working candles. the scents i’m into right now are palo santo and patchouli, and this 100% soy scented “palo santo patchouli” candle has literally both of those in its name.
there are two rules for cleaning candles: they have to smell like, and be sold along with, household cleaning supplies. i had a sort of toxic friend in college who hated lavender and so i learned to love it, especially for cleaning scents. having a cleaning candle burning really motivates me to keep cleaning, like the scent hitting me immediately already makes me feel like i’ve made progress before i even started.
midsummer’s night, a true iconoclast! this has been my official candle for being horny for at least 5 years. it comes in a wide variety of form factors and, despite being a yankee candle, is hella goth. described as “an intoxicating and masculine blend of musk, patchouli, sage and mahogany cologne,” much like myself, it’s basically the smell of a really hot person who showered before coming to see you. the only problem with this candle is that it looks a bit too much like a mason jar full of diet cola, which is kind of risky in my household.