Live Laugh Blog2024-03-10T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blogJenn Schifferjenn@dotbiz.infothe intersection of candles and code2024-03-10T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/threejs-orange-candle/<p>last month i said <a href="https://livelaughblog.glitch.me/posts/catching-up-on-candles/">i'd be experimenting with more sculptural candles</a> and that's exactly what i did this weekend. and because i had also recently finished my <a href="https://threejs-journey.com/">three.js journey</a> certificate, i figured that starting this weekend's session by rendering the candle on the web first would be a good practice <em>and</em> a cool way to show off the candle i had floating in my mind for weeks.</p>
<p>i built the following app with react-three-fiber that shows a simple 3d orange. when you click it, the scene shows a box whose faces are a photo of one of the actual IRL 3d oranges i made in candle form.</p>
<!-- Copy and Paste Me -->
<div class="glitch-embed-wrap" style="height: 420px; width: 100%;">
<iframe src="https://glitch.com/embed/#!/embed/orange-3d-candle?path=&previewSize=100" title="orange-3d-candle on Glitch" allow="geolocation; microphone; camera; midi; encrypted-media; xr-spatial-tracking; fullscreen" allowFullScreen="" style="height: 100%; width: 100%; border: 0;">
</iframe>
</div>
<p>using round molds for wax is a huge pain in the ass, especially because i was especially impatient yesterday. it's been an anxious few weeks for me and fucking up a couple of the candles really reminded me that i need to and <em>can</em> chill the fuck out at home.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/cutie-oranges.png" alt="three orange fruit candles sitting with each other on a white background. 2 of them are more imperfect than the other, the wax is not as smooth" /></p>
<p>fortunately they are all very cute, and i did get a very smooth one!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/cutie-orange-held.png" alt="photo of my handle holding up a little, perfect orange fruit candle" /></p>
<p>i'm happy with the exercise of both code and candle making together. now that i'm a little refreshed on the three.js code part of the experience, i need to dive back into blender so i can make more complicated models that are still performant in the browser.</p>
<p>oh! this is totally unrelated to candles, but related to code i also worked on this weekend: i'm collaborating again with <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jamieabrew/">jamie brew</a>, this time on his next <a href="https://www.wonderville.nyc/events/robot-karaoke-disco">robot-powered karaoke show in brooklyn, later this month on march 25th</a>. it's going to be a fun time whether you like to sing karaoke or not. and it's at wonderville, so you can always just ignore us and play some of the really great indie arcade games.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
falling for prince's fridge2024-03-03T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/falling-for-princes-fridge/<p>as a <a href="https://montclairlocal.news/2011/04/pinnacle-and-bid-partner-for-living-spaces-program/">former professional satirist</a>, i know that you can always make someone fall for something. as it's finally march, which means april fools day approaches us again, i'd like to share what i believe was the only good april fools joke ever: <a href="https://heavytable.com/whats-in-princes-fridge/">heavy table's "what's in prince's fridge"</a>. click that right now, read it, and then come back. heavy table is a <a href="https://www.patreon.com/heavytable/about">reader-sponsored</a> culinary online zine based in prince's home zone, minneapolis and they are absolute legends for this one.</p>
<p>now imagine it's 2011 and you read that post on april fools day, because that's the day it was published. would you have fallen for it? ignoring the date, likely - it's just funny enough and <em>prince</em> enough to be real - i mean, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nntVqkkZalM">that guy was hilarious</a>. at that time, dunkaroos were not in production and that just made it even funnier. so naturally, many people fell for it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/prince-dunkaroos.jpg" alt="product photo showing dunkaroos and i pasted a photo of prince in a fall scene onto the bottom right of it" />
<em>jennjourney (not an ai, just my own brain) prompt: copy and paste prince from that iconic fall photoset onto a high-res photo of dunkaroos</em></p>
<p>anyway, it was most definitely an april fools joke and so many fell for it. <a href="https://www.romper.com/p/what-prince-kept-in-his-fridge-will-make-you-love-him-even-more-9325">romper wrote about it three weeks later</a> but added a note admitting they fell for it, which i honestly admired and you'll see why when i get to how other publications handled it. <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinchirico/whats-in-princes-fridge-dunkaroos-and-yaks-mil-bwwj">buzzfeed wrote about it 3 years later</a> and of course they never corrected it, they would have if it was under buzzfeed news. by the way, non-news buzzfeed is virtually unreadable and that's not a stab at the writers, it's the fact that 90% of the content is embeds that are either all gone from their original services or blocked by ad blockers.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/prince-dunkaroos2.jpg" alt="product photo showing dunkaroos and i pasted a photo of prince in a fall scene onto the bottom right of it" />
<em>i looked up the price of dunkaroos and you can still buy an individual pack for $1.99. i still think that's so expensive in a world where arizona iced tea is still just 99¢. don't get me mcstarted on <a href="https://mc-menu.com/mcdonalds-menu-prices/126-filet-o-fish.html">filet o fish</a> prices when i don't even eat seafood!</em></p>
<p>the only thing funnier than media publications falling for an april fools joke is when they fall for it...five fucking years later. in april of 2016, prince sadly passed away and i can't articulate "why" right now (but <em>we all know</em>), a bunch of publications started reflecting on the part of his life where he did an interview with a local culinary zine and described the contents of his fridge–wait a second.</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/a-look-inside-prince-fridge/">cbs news "Remembering Prince's lighter side with a look inside his fridge"</a> - yeah so cbs just has this post out there for anyone to read and believe, <em>bless</em>.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.eater.com/2016/4/22/11487208/princes-dunkaroos-hillary-bernie-soda-tax">eater "Prince's Love of Dunkaroos; Hillary and Bernie on a Soda Tax"</a> - eater gives a brief mention that has remained unacknowledged since. just a week or so later, though, their twin cities vertical <a href="https://twincities.eater.com/2016/4/22/11490380/what-wasnt-in-princes-fridge">wrote about other publications that fell for the same post</a>!</li>
<li><a href="https://pagesix.com/2016/04/21/princes-taste-in-food-was-just-as-bizarre-as-youd-expect/">page six "Prince’s taste in food was just as bizarre as you’d expect "</a> - i mean, not surprised about this one. when i saw this, i immediately searched for "dunkaroos" on tmz and the ny post (they're all the same to me) and all i found was them <a href="https://nypost.com/2020/02/03/dunkaroos-are-coming-back-after-being-discontinued-in-2012/">reporting on</a> the <a href="https://www.tmz.com/2020/05/03/dunkaroos-preorder-giveaway-goes-fast-5000-packs-fans-angry/">dunkaroos comeback</a>, so i can neither confirm nor deny their part in falling for the heavy table post</li>
<li><a href="https://www.thedailymeal.com/news/entertain/late-great-prince-s-taste-food-was-just-strange-you-might-expect/042216">the daily meal "The Late, Great Prince's Taste In Food Was Just As Strange As You Might Expect</a> - i don't know what the daily meal is but they credit page six for the reporting. but the way i am absolutely, literally lmfao as i'm doing this "research"</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>by the way, if you work at the daily meal or any other place that ADDS "READ MORE: [URL]" TO THE CLIPBOARD WHEN I TRY TO COPY AND PASTE THE TITLE OR ANY OTHER you're on notice!!!!</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/daily-meal-testing-me.png" alt="screenshot of my markdown code trying to link to the daily meal post but the code is broken because they added "read more:" followed by the url when i just wanted the title of the article" />
<em>law and order: clipboard hijacking, starring ME</em></p>
<p>others fell for the post too but took the right approach: adding a note admitting they fell for it, just like romper had done 5 years prior.</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/27419/nothing-compares-2-princes-fridge">mental floss "Nothing Compares 2 Prince's Fridge"</a> - this is my favorite title of all articles falling for the post.</li>
<li><a href="https://www.today.com/food/stage-prince-was-passionate-quirky-food-lover-too-t87881">today "Off stage, Prince was a passionate and quirky food lover, too"</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.vice.com/en/article/4x5pz3/a-look-back-on-princes-love-of-dunk-a-roos-and-mustard">vice's munchies "A Look Back on Prince's Love of Dunk-a-Roos and Mustard"</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.delish.com/food-news/a46917/prince-favorite-foods/">delish "Here's Exactly What Prince Loved To Eat"</a></li>
</ul>
<p>and then there's what i consider the biggest coward of the bunch:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.maxim.com/maxim-man/prince-fridge-2016-04">maxim "prince's fridge"</a> - it's just not there anymore. this pissed me off! i can't get the wayback machine to render the page either, so if you can find the original please send it my way!!</li>
</ul>
<p>i think there's something to be said about how "fake news" wasn't really a phrase we used 10-13 years ago, and deep fakes weren't really a threat either. the world is very different today and the stakes are way higher than prince having an incredible reputation for being a man of taste when it comes to mustard varieties and maple syrup. anyway, happy march and stay safe out there this april fools and beyond.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
catching up on candles2024-02-18T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/catching-up-on-candles/<p>i haven't posted a <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/tag/candle-making/">candle-making</a> blog since <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/candle-making-cento/">june 2022</a> but i haven't stopped making them. i guess i just forgot to blog about them, but i'm pretty sure i took photos each time. let's catch up on my candle-making adventures.</p>
<p>i scoured my phone and then realized i got a new phone between moves, so i had to scour my camera backups. the first candle-related photo since my june 2022 session was taken on july 31, 2022, of a candle i <em>know</em> i made but have absolutely no recollection of making it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2022-07-31-mystery.jpg" alt="photo of a candle in a glass shot class and 2 small wicks. it's red-orange in color and in front of my old tv" /></p>
<p>and then a couple of months later, i have a photo of just two candles that i also don't recall making. i do believe i have the instant espresso one and more likely than not it is scented like "tomato vine" or something like that.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2022-10-09-done-peppercorn.jpg" alt="photo of a candle in a glass shot class and 2 small wicks. it's red-orange in color and in front of my old tv" /></p>
<p>i maybe gave my pal lisa the peppercorn one because she gave me that container because i was raving about how much better it performed than my stupid pepper grinder. as i'm typing this i'm realizing why it's so important i blog this stuff as it happens, because my hashimoto's really does impact my memory. oh, and if that <em>is</em> lisa's candle, it would be "red sangria" scented.</p>
<p>i <em>do</em> know for a fact that this candle i gave lisa (not phil and celeste like i initially wrote, they got another of this scent) was "red sangria". this was an update from lisa* in august, 2023.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2023-08-22-phil.jpg" alt="screenshot of an imessage from phil showing a photo of a Cento jar candle lit that's pinkish in color, and phil said "thank you! she's in action!"" /></p>
<p>so the huge gap between these candle sessions is because i had gotten into <a href="https://livelaughblog.glitch.me/tag/paint-making/">making watercolors</a>, had a <a href="https://livelaughblog.glitch.me/posts/causal-islands-2023/">conference talk</a> to to give out of the country, and i moved. my next known session was october, 2023, in our new kitchen.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2023-10-08-new-kitchen.jpeg" alt="photo of my kitchen that's it's own separate little room, so my candle workstation wraps around 2 sides from the stove to the entire counter" /></p>
<p>i fortunately had photos of my setup before and after this session, so i know the jars and their associated scents were:</p>
<ol>
<li>wordcamp mug: blue spruce</li>
<li>peppers and capers: fallen leaves</li>
<li>blueberry preserves: blueberry cobbler (gave one to my coworker, melissa)</li>
<li>grape mugs: chocolate fudge (gave one to my coworker, hannah)</li>
</ol>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2023-10-08-done.jpeg" alt="photo of in my kitchen of the candles i've poured and are curing, still mostly melted. there's a chinese mustard jar, 3 mugs, two jam jars, a chickpea can, and a capers jar" /></p>
<p>my biggest session every was in december, 2023, just a few months ago. there was so many and i did a lot of scent and color mixing and mind-changing, so i'm not 100% sure i'm correct about the jar and scents:</p>
<ol>
<li>pesto jar: cardamom and creme (gave this to our pals robby and edna)</li>
<li>strawberry jam jar: cardamom and creme (claimed by my coworker michael)</li>
<li>hot jalapenos: fallen leaves (claimed by my coworker sophie)</li>
<li>dijon mustard: smoked oud (i think this was claimed by my coworker dj)</li>
<li>blueberry preserves jar: eucalyptus</li>
<li>jalapeno stuffed olives (mmm): blue spruce and eucalyptus (claimed by my coworker karen)</li>
<li>cento peppers: smoked oud</li>
<li>cafe du monde: blood orange and (i think?) citrus sunshine</li>
</ol>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2023-12-9-melted.jpg" alt="photo of a bunch of melted candles (listed above) on my kitchen counter, just beginning to cure" /></p>
<p>i brought a bunch of these to the office and just told folks they're free for the taking. they got a kick out of the scents and colors not matching the condiments labeled on the jar. "cardamom and cream" is definitely in my top 5 favorite scents ever, i'll definitely be buying more. the cafe du monde double-wick i kept for myself and was recycled from the office.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2023-12-9-cafedumonde.jpeg" alt="photo of an orange, double-wicked (and lit) candle made from a cafe du monde coffee tin" /></p>
<p>here is pumagreg, taking credit for work he didn't do. i'm actually obsessed with this photo of him!!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2023-12-9-pumagreg.jpg" alt="pumagreg posing next to some of my finished candles. his hind legs are standing on a chair and his front legs are standing on the table, he's standing like a regal gentleman" /></p>
<p>and this weekend i was at it again. the jars were starting to pile up behind the sink so i got those out of the way and got to experiment with my votive and sphere molds.</p>
<ol>
<li>glass from the <a href="https://smooth.technology/">smooth technology</a> holiday party: honeysuckle</li>
<li>pepperoncini: lavender embers (this one is for a coworker)</li>
<li>peppers jar, cherries jar: macintosh apple</li>
<li>andy's old and damaged centipede glass: lemon poundcake</li>
<li>blueberry preserves: almond macaron</li>
</ol>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/2024-02-18-finished.jpg" alt="photo of candles (listed above) that are pretty far into their curing process so you can see their true wax colors" /></p>
<p>i think this will be my last candle session filling jars. i want to get into more artistic sculptures using wax and wick, so my next candle-making post will hopefully be a wacky one.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i made a second watercolor palette from eyeshadow2024-02-10T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/second-palette-eyeshadow-watercolors/<p>about a year and a half ago <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-turned-an-eyeshadow-palette-into-watercolors/">i turned an eyeshadow palette into watercolors</a> and it really was one of the most fun watercolor projects i've done. a couple of weeks ago, i finally cleared a space and weekend to make another palette.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/00-my-workspace.png" alt="photo of my entire workspace, showing an L-shaped desk with a computer, large 2nd monitor, and an on-desk easel setup. the desk has a lot of stuff all on it, but it's organized" /></p>
<p>along with the space to do it, to make watercolors you need binder, a slab and muller, pigment, and somewhere for the paint to go (a palette).</p>
<h5>watercolor binder, $24</h5>
<p>i had a supplier on etsy that i always bought binder from, but this time she never sent the order or responded to my messages so etsy eventually just refunded me. it's actually super fortunate that this happened, though, because i then ended up getting a 4 oz bottle of <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/1550459600/ready-to-use-watercolor-binder-made-to">this binder</a>. i <em>love</em> this binder and you will too if you like the scent of clove oil, i assume a preservative - binders really only have a shelf life of a couple of weeks in my experience. also, please don't ask me why i don't just make my own binder, i don't do <em>a lot</em> of things.</p>
<h5>glass slab & muller, $70*</h5>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/01-making.png" alt="photo of my watercolor-making workspace, including a glass slab with a small pile of brown pigment, a glass muller and the eyeshadow palette i'm working from" /></p>
<p>i paid $70 for a small glass slab and muller from an etsy shop that shut down. every time i see an etsy shop shut down i imagine it ended in a virtual FBI raid and everyone are Club Penguin characters on the screen. i really want a larger slab and as i am typing this i am realizing that we just happen to have a large slab of glass? jenn. why. it's a long story but i think it might work, stay tuned for a Future Blog.</p>
<p>a year ago i upgraded the muller to 3" heavy glass muller from kremer for $65. i wanted a muller that was more like me: ergonomic and locally blown.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/02-painting.png" alt="photo of a painting that’s from my wiping a round glass muller covered in brown watercolor being rested on and pulled across a piece of paper" /></p>
<p>as i'm mulling and changing pigments, i'll paint with the muller on a piece of paper. it gives me a sneak peek of how the paint will look and perform. when you're stoned, you'll think you are THE next fucking claude monet doing this but please don't quit your day job until after this fake recession cycle orchestrated by wall st and tech company boards (redundant) in order to lower wages comes to its inevitable conclusion.</p>
<h5>bh cosmetics glam reflection eyeshadow palette, $15?</h5>
<p>i got this palette in a mall in berlin in 2019. i was on the hunt for a hot pink eyeshadow to match the staging of the conference i was there to speak at and picked up a few other items, including this palette of neutrals. i have no idea how much i paid but bh is an affordable brand. this palette got the job done, i just didn't need it any more and its metal packaging makes it a great watercolor palette.</p>
<p>making the paint is easy - you add binder to the pigment and mull it and pour it where you want it to dry. the drying process takes a couple of days. don't ask me for actual measurements because i'm an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Italian_Americans#Italian_Americans_not_otherwise_categorized">italian american not otherwise categorized</a>. what i can tell you is that you <em>shouldn't</em> let the palette close before the paints dry.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/03-wrecked.png" alt="photo of my eyeshadow palette but each eyeshadow is watercolor that’s still wet and because the palette accidentally closed, 4 of the newer paints are smeared on the mirror part of the palette" /></p>
<h5>watercolor cards, ~$10</h5>
<p>i use watercolor cards for pouring the extra paint that doesn't fit in the palette because of the binder being added. i got mine at blick but i can't find the listing anymore, mr. dicky blicky please advise? i did find <a href="https://www.dickblick.com/items/strathmore-cards-and-envelopes-watercolor-slim-box-of-10/">these "slim" ones</a> which i honestly wish i had instead and will get when i run out of my current stash.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/04-cards.png" alt="photo of 3 small white watercolor cards where I poured wet watercolor in blobs, turning them into abstract watercolor palettes" /></p>
<p>for this batch i made 3 cards and gave away two - one to a coworker i knew would appreciate it and another i mailed to my dear friend <a href="https://jimdoran.art/">jim</a>. the third i consume like food in a spiritual artist ritual. that's not true, i always keep one for photos and potentially to give as a gift in the moment. even though eyeshadows and binder are typically non-toxic, you really don't need to eat them so don't.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/05-dried.png" alt="photo of the watercolor palette where the paints have dried/cured fully" /></p>
<p>that's my "tutorial" on how to make your own watercolors out of eyeshadows. i've made a couple of paintings with the palette and they perform very well and i love the subtle scent of clove oil from the binder. ok bye!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
grade school entrepreneur2024-01-27T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/grade-school-entrepreneur/<p>i was just watching <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z0fToNvwy4">emma chamberlain tell some childhood stories</a> and early into it she talked about under-the-table selling stickers and erasers to classmates when she was a little kid and it feeling drug-dealery. i basically had the same experience.</p>
<p>the first time i ever got in trouble in elementary school was in 4th grade because i was caught selling shavings of <a href="https://www.jennyscrayoncollection.com/2015/06/magic-scent-lines.html">crayola magic scent crayons</a>. these were scented crayons but i swear on my fucking soul some of them event tasted like the scent - especially the bubblegum one. i'd shave the crayon and sell the shavings for 5 cents a curl.</p>
<p>my teacher told me to stop selling crayon shavings because it's not allowed. to just be told i did something bad was punishment enough, honestly. naturally, i interpreted my crime as being "getting paid to have kids chew crayon shavings" part, not simply the "selling things" part, i pivoted to selling comic strips. i'd draw 3-panel comics about a heroic, crime-fighting shrimp named after my classmate andrew in a beautiful notebook (i'll get back to that) like a dozen times and then fold the paper to rip them apart. this was the first time i ever got detention.</p>
<p>elementary school detention ruled but let me tell you about that beautiful notebook. the notebook was fine. it just wasn't from the local grocery store, which made it fancy and rich to me. it was merely a large spiral notebook with brass hardware with a cover thicker than the normal spiral notebook. i think a neighbor gave it to me; at this time i had no fewer than 3 best friends who each were old women who lived in or across our apartment building. those women never betrayed me the way i felt that my 4th grade teacher did by punishing me for and stifling my entrepreneurial spirit. jk, [redacted], lol i forgive you.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
2024: another year of blog on the desktop2024-01-16T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/2024/<p>there are only 2 good things about being a blogger:</p>
<ol>
<li>the piles of money that come in every single week from Big Blog Enterprises</li>
<li>the pleasant surprise that you wrote and totally forgot about your resolutions and intentions from the year prior</li>
</ol>
<p>hello, fellow billionaires. i'm jenn schiffer and this is my <strong>2024 blog</strong>, a lot has changed since my <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/2023/">2023 post</a>.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>i've got nothing to lose with going into the new year hopeful, though: i'll be hitting 4 years of no alcohol in april, i've got a job, andy and i are (generously) 1/5 through the playground scene in powerwash simulator, i can still afford therapy even with the new year's fee increase, and i'm pretty close to perfecting a recipe for vegan mac and cheese sauce that's i've been working on all year.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>it will be 5 years of no alcohol in april! i still have a job, but i did have to go on indefinite sabbatical from my small business (power wash simulator) because it was awful for my joints, but i'm pretty sure we finished the playground scene and a few others. the therapy fee increase this new year is half what last year's increase was and girl math tells me that means i'm <em>making money</em> off of those sessions, now. i'll share the vegan mac and cheese sauce recipe soon, i forgot about that.</p>
<p>as for <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/2023/">my 2023 resolutions</a>, i did a really good job considering that i forgot i even had resolutions - i started the year off with a bad hashimotos flareup that also triggered depression. anyway this all simply proves that manifestation is real and that ugly, cunty book "the secret" was not <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20070403164222/https://www.oprah.com/tows/slide/200703/20070326/slide_20070326_350_103.jhtml">just a foreshadowing of today's society</a>. last year i picked up a lot of new things: aerial yoga, airbrushing and 3d web development, and so of course this year i want to get better at those and my other hobbies.</p>
<h4>new years resolutions for 2024, in order from easiest to most difficult</h4>
<ul>
<li>don't chop my hair off</li>
<li>experiment more with my candle-making</li>
<li>stay consistent with my weekly aerial yoga routine</li>
<li>start making nice paintings with the airbrush</li>
<li>get back into figure drawing</li>
<li>make a really cool 3d web project</li>
<li>incorporate a new activity into my fitness routine</li>
<li>drink fewer fizzy drinks</li>
<li>do 5 solid push-ups</li>
<li>stop making jokes about my hypothyroidism being from eating microplastics</li>
</ul>
<p>what a nice list, time to <a href="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/ron.jpg">set it and forget it</a> until next january!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>ps. thanks for reading my blog. you <a href="https://pixel.kitchen/@jenn">should follow me on mastodon</a>. also, did you know this blog has <a href="https://livelaughblog.glitch.me/rss.xml">an rss feed</a>? yee-haw 🤠</p>
10 years since i warned you's about bitcoin2024-01-08T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/10-years-since-i-warned-you-about-bitcoin/<p>10 years ago i was working as a senior front-end engineer at the nba making way too little money for what they had me doing and writing <a href="https://medium.com/cool-code-pal">extremely niche web development satire</a> as a hobby with my coworker – normal 20-something lady in tech things. this was last time i ever remember being truly bored, which was the big driver behind me writing things on an invite-only blogging platform (medium the dot com in its infancy) that i knew were very funny and therefore would piss off a <a href="https://www.wikihow.com/Mommy-Issues-in-Men">certain demographic</a>.</p>
<p>i talked more about the satire and some aftermath <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wewAC5X_CZ8">in 2016 at xoxo</a> if you need more context, but today i want to take you back to january 31, 2014 to celebrate the 10-year anniversary of me going outside my comfort zone of making fun of javascript, and <a href="https://medium.com/cool-code-pal/d9a47f94eea7">rudolph the red nose guiliani</a> before it was cool, to <a href="https://medium.com/cool-code-pal/a-case-against-bitcoin-823e834c4aa3">write about mother nature's version of kohl's cash: bitcoin</a>.</p>
<p>before i get into the actual post, let me paint the scene: normally around lunch time at work i'd think of something stupid i should write about that i knew my friends would think was hilarious and that men in tech who take themselves super seriously would hate. i would write the thing within 20 minutes and then publish and share on IRC (slack for old people) and twitter (x for old people). i would then read what i wrote and fix typos that i notice (editor's note: i am doing that right now lol, 3 typos so far). i wasn't getting paid for this so i wasn't taking it seriously, i was just having a goofy time. also during this month i was looking for a new job and keeping my yogurt in a tampon box in the fridge to stop my coworkers from eating it. okay, knowing all that, let's get into this journalistic chaos that i called:</p>
<h4>A Case Against Bitcoin</h4>
<h5>Climate change is real and it has hit our economy</h5>
<blockquote>Crypto-currency is a hot topic in technology. I do not know all there is to know about Bitcoin, but I know enough about microeconomics and digitization of e-commerce to know its importance — but also how it could lead to another bubble burst.
</blockquote>
<p>i didn't study humor writing, i'm just a funny lil babe who reads a lot of tech blogs, and i read a lot of boring white papers in college. through that experience i learned that to trap the reader into feeling safe about your writing being sincere, you need to start off sincere, serious and stating why you have authority, or lack thereof, and leave a bit of the truth out - like all i knew about bitcoin at this point was that someone i was casually dating talked about it a bit and they were perpetually late to every single date because they insisted on buying a new shirt before every time we had a meal.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-minutesback.png?v=1704748407749" alt="subreddit comment of someone saying "Where's the satire? Where's anything in this article except the same old beating of the dead horse over and over that big banks are bad and Bitcoin is good. I wish I had my 2 minutes back."" /></p>
<blockquote>With so much real money flowing through the industry, it is important to come up with a digital currency so that banks and the wallets of top execs do not literally run out of space (a case made for making websites instead of flyers for entertainment events back in the early years of ARPANET). Not many people think about that, nor do they think about how the number of bank branches is decreasing as the big companies (ie Chase and Bank of America) take over the smaller guys. So actual space is a legitimate issue.</blockquote>
<p>i swear this was not me predicting the 2023 bank run crisis, it was just me venting about <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Mutual#Business_operations_prior_to_bank_receivership">the 2008 one</a>. also, if the mention of ARPANET seems unhinged, that was intentional. i liked to throw in old, incorrectly cited, histories in order to start helping the reader realize that they are not reading serious article. of course this did not work for a lot of people, because a lot of people do not study their history. if this blog post is boring you, feel free to switch to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfHQbdqeadk">my talk at causal islands about the last 20 years of history repeating itself</a>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-sense.png" alt="subreddit comment of someone saying "Ummm...she makes no sense."" /></p>
<blockquote>But Bitcoin does not solve the space issue in the long run. Servers are needed to save them, and as more Bitcoins are created, more servers will be needed. I imagine that bank branches would open solely to house the hardware. Hardware has a large carbon footprint, so is digital currency really more environmentally friendly than real money? It’s not. This debunks the number one reason Bitcoin miners use when asked “why Bitcoin?”</blockquote>
<p>i am proof that you don't need to know about bitcoin to have foreseen the environmental impact, you just need a fucking brain and care for humanity outside the scope of your inner circle - a lot to ask, i know, but fortunately for you all i <em>was born with it</em> 💅 by the way, have you looked into <a href="https://arxiv.org/abs/2304.03271">literally any research on how much water it takes for chat-gpt to correct your while loop</a>?</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-warming.png" alt="subreddit comment of someone saying "First article linked on site states 'global warming is real and is effecting economy.' ...after weeks of record setting cold across the us. another liberal smear job against bitcoin. next please."" /></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/krose-proof.png?v=1704743717610" alt="screenshot of a tweet from kevin rose in january 2014 saying "@jennschiffer also you're [sic] point re: carbon footprint, not with proof of stake crypto currencies, eg. Peercoin"" /></p>
<blockquote>Being digital means that Bitcoin is more susceptible to hacking. Unlike in-person robberies, the Bitcoin robbers are anonymous, hidden behind the safety of their computer screen. NSA can get their information and tap into their webcams, but that’s only if they use Apple products (they all come with cameras built in). I imagine that the majority of Bitcoin miners use their iPads for mobile transaction confirmations.</blockquote>
<p>a week after i published this, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mt._Gox#Withdrawals_halted;_trading_suspended;_bitcoin_missing_(2014)">mt gox halted withdrawals and basically turned my satire into a suspicious foreshadowing</a> #AnyoneWithABrain. the apple products mention was just a cheap trigger for the fan boys in web development community at the time because, well, i love cheap thrills. i also love watching videos covering all the rug-pullers and scammers since - huge shouts out to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@Coffeezilla">coffeezilla</a> and his detective work and his team's excellent 3d productions.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-future.png?" alt="subreddit comment of someone saying "lol, this guy is an idiot complaining about the CURRENT state (infancy) of bitcoin. tell this guy to comment on bitcoin 3-5 years from now. in the future mining will take less energy more business will accept bitcoin offline/online"" /></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/krose-hacked.png?v=1704743717307" alt="screenshot of a tweet from kevin rose in january 2023 saying "i was just hacked, stay tuned for details - please avoid buying any squiggles until we get them flagged (just lost 25) + a few other NFTs (an autoglyph)..."" /></p>
<blockquote>Being that Bitcoins are on hardware, something at simple as a refrigerator magnet can bankrupt an entire series of wallets. Tangible money, like dollars, can go through the rain, magnets, and basically all of the other elements of nature without total destruction. With Bitcoins we are not so safe.</blockquote>
<p>i think this is a fun time to drop that my mentor and boss for almost 7 years recently won a webby lifetime achievement award for <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anil_Dash#NFTs">laying the groundwork for nft's</a> at an event only a few months after i published this post. with all tech innovations, even <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theranos#Exposure_and_downfall">cosplays of them</a>, there's a stated intention of doing good for the world with said innovation. the hard, but most important part, for us schmucks is to actively decipher who actually intends to help the greater good or just fill their (bitcoin) wallets. i wouldn't be working with anil if i didn't witness and believe in his work to enable <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-commentary/internet-future-about-to-get-weird-1234938403/">creative people to thrive on and build a weird web in its most fragile era</a>.</p>
<p><em>but nft's though jenn!</em> some of you are going to get big mad at me for this, but nft's are like cars to me. i hate cars, i don't like seeing them, being in them, my friends having them...but i know some people need them now, and i appreciate that need (although that doesn't apply to most of you), but i also think there's gotta be a better way through public transit, neighbors helping neighbors, actual accessibility, etc. i'm not going to be buying nft's, but i do know that there are a lot of other good people who tried to benefit from nft's with their art, or tried to make sure it wasn't all full of rug-pullers. some of you may think i'm naive, but <em>you</em> didn't predict the 2023 bank run or mt gox scandal, did you? anyway, i don't think nft's are going away, much like ai and vr and covid and my thyroid disease and bitcoin and javascript and cars. but there may be less of it, just the right amount we all need to coexist in peace. i'm not naive, i'm holding onto hope ok!!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-claims.png?" alt="two subreddit comments, one saying "brilliantly written" and the on after that saying "absolutely terribly written, literally did almost no research at all. time to break down her claims:"" /></p>
<blockquote>Another issue with Bitcoin is adoption. Go to most of your local shops and I bet that none of them accept Bitcoin. They accept dollars or credits. Imagine having lots of worthy Bitcoins but no where to spend them. This renders the Bitcoin useless, driving down value and wasting miner’s time. With dollars, we can leave that work to the government and other more financially-knowledgable entities, like banks, so we don’t have to spend our time with transactions and handling the hardware requirements of mining.</blockquote>
<p>i'm starting to understand why people thought i was serious here, because i actually was for the majority of it. these critiques actually make a lot of sense, but i was ahead of my time and also a woman. i've never paid for anything with a cryptocurrency because there was never a situation where it would have been convenient. do they take bitcoin at claire's?</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-teenager.png?" alt="two subreddit comments, one saying "this writer writes like a 16 year old teenager on her blog. wait it is." and the other comment says "wonderful satire of waht a cliche clueless feminist would write"" /></p>
<blockquote>Bitcoin — like meritocracy, communism, and misandry — is a nice idea, but it will never be implemented in a way that could possible make it useful or replace the current currencies. To think it does would be irresponsible and glib. I say stop wasting time exploring it, and leave it to the people you voted into office to handle the economy.</blockquote>
<p>this line is fire actually, probably the only paragraph here that didn't make my skin crawl. do other writers enjoy reading their old writing and if so what is wrong with you? the meritocracy mention was a call back to the week or so before when <a href="https://readwrite.com/github-meritocracy-rug/">github got rid of their meritocracy rug</a>. remember that? i wish i lived in the woods sometimes.</p>
<blockquote>Jenn Schiffer studied economics and is the tech evangelist for a think-tank that explores past currencies like Planet Lunch Points and pogs.</blockquote>
<p>i'd intentionally end every "article" with a made up bio that was intended to make my friends laugh and make the people who fell for the entire article finally realize that they got increasingly mad over something stupid. do you think it ever worked?</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/bitcoin-refund.png?" alt="subreddit comment quoting my bio saying 'jenn schiffer studied economics' and saying "can you get a refund on that degree?"" /></p>
<p>my personal preference for any satire is that the writing is overshadowed by the response, otherwise the writing is too smart or too flat. the best part of this stupid bitcoin "article" i wrote was the response on the <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/comments/1woatn/a_case_against_bitcoin/">bitcoin subreddit</a>. one of the exceptionally rude commenters emailed a week after the post apologizing for their angry response (and begging me to remove my tweet screenshotting it) and explained that they were just so tired of seeing "all the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear,_uncertainty,_and_doubt">FUD</a> around bitcoin" being shared by people who "know nothing about it." they were wrong though, i didn't "know nothing." i grew up poor, i've seen family members both scam and be scammed...none of what's happening in the cryptocurrency industry was shocking to me, then or now. and the claim of FUD was so interesting to me because what is more valid to have fear, uncertainty, and doubt about than a new financial concept that depended on technology to make it correct and secure - in a <a href="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aJKeQvSCMBY/maxresdefault.jpg">society</a> full of people trying to take advantage of others <em>not</em> practicing discernment, doing due diligence, and being cautious when it comes to money.</p>
<p>i probably would have bought an nft from an artist i enjoyed if it weren't for the backlash to this post several years prior, and not because i would have feared the backlash from my peers online who were ride or die againsts nft's. blockchain technology bred a cult of personality that makes it hard for me to take seriously or incorporate into my lifestyle and work, and also trying to make it go away is absolutely not a hill or subreddit i want to die on. but i do hope that people consider the intersectional impact of new innovations, be it crypto, artificial intelligence, the phones they buy, etc. i also think we need to be making fun of people who explode at the tiniest bit of critique - hell, it got one of them to send me a nice email.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p><em>jenn schiffer writes like a 16 year old teenager on her blog. wait it is</em></p>
my 2023 year in code2024-01-01T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/2023-year-in-code/<p>i know how to code and i'm pretty good at it, but it's not something i do for my full-time job anymore - this is great for me, honestly. so, obviously, i do not write as much code as i <em>used</em> to, <em>but</em> i still made a lot of interesting things this year. here is <strong>my 2023 in code</strong>.</p>
<h4>live laugh blog</h4>
<p>that's this blog you're reading. i started it in spring of 2020, and it's both my blog and my sandbox for trying out new styles for my personal sites. this year i went through a "slime green" era that i am still holding onto like a dog and its favorite bone.</p>
<p>i wrote a <em>whopping</em> 9 blog posts in 2023 and that's pretty good - how many did <em>you</em> right, you lil scamp? it's still hosted on glitch and built with <a href="https://www.11ty.dev/">eleventy</a>, my ride or dies.</p>
<p><strong>honorable mention</strong>: <a href="https://jennschiffer/">my personal site, jennschiffer.com</a>. you can draw on the background because being able to doodle in unexpected places is THE spice of life.</p>
<h4>newsletters for work</h4>
<p>coding the emails that comes from glitch is a thing i do, and anyone who has to code emails knows that this is worthy of a big mention on this list. <a href="https://mjml.io/">mjml</a> is my bestie and should be yours too if you are coding newsletter layouts.</p>
<p><strong>honorable mention</strong>: all the sql i write at work lol</p>
<h4>make8bitart as a pwa</h4>
<p>apple finally was like fiiine i'll recognize your <a href="https://developer.mozilla.org/en-US/docs/Web/Progressive_web_apps">progressive web apps</a> but we're only going to call them web apps. <a href="https://make8bitart.com/">make8bitart.com</a>, if you're not familiar, is a pixel art editor i made like well over 10 years ago, and i don't have to do much to update it. this year, though, i made significant changes so it would be a pwa. yee-haw.</p>
<h4>glitch community code jams</h4>
<p>a couple of months ago we kicked off <a href="https://glitch.com/jams">glitch community code jams</a> and for that i started <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M78lh4GI9Hk&list=PLkkL3Pim_xkWKMmXOMX1KjJkCkFjQv2MB">streaming on the glitch youtube account</a> fridays, which is about 50% me live-coding. my self-portrait submission was <a href="https://selfportrait-js.glitch.me/">this eye-following-chips</a> app, and for the gift-giving jam <a href="https://presents-or-bugs.glitch.me/">i made this app where everyone on the page can be a present or a cockroach</a>.</p>
<p><strong>honorable mention</strong> as part of the gift-giving jam i did a major refresh on my websockets knowledge and created <a href="https://glitch.com/@jennschiffer/websockets-journey">a couple of starter apps</a>. this work helped me out with a work-related feature we have <em>coming out soon</em>, so i was excited to be able to help out.</p>
<h4>webwing</h4>
<p>instead of bracing myself and holding onto the walls of billionaire-owned creator platforms and hoping the turbulence gives out, i've been exploring ways to bring the old web into the new web in a way that's not pretentious and likely only to be appreciated by my fellow former geocities users, respectfully, xoxo.</p>
<p>i recently decided that "discovery" is going to be my journey through 2024 - a prompt that inspired me to finally get glitch community code jams out the door, and i made <a href="https://webwing.glitch.me/">webwing</a> as a prototype for enabling people to build their own discovery tools. i think we're beyond just using rss for folowing - you should be able to pull in rss, glitch playlists, csvs, scans of photos of your tv screen, etc. iframes are a rough element to work with, but i'm still working on this and will "figure it out" somehow lol.</p>
<p><strong>honorable mention</strong>: i remixed webwing to create <a href="https://inspowation.glitch.me/">inspowation</a> to show the rest of the glitch team my inspiration behind glitch community code jams.</p>
<h4>my mastodon server</h4>
<p>i maintain my own mastodon server at <a href="https://pixel.kitchen/">pixel.kitchen</a>. it's just me, no you cannot join, yes i pay $19 a month in digital ocean usage to host it...anyway, it's not really a "code" thing but i would be remiss not to brag that i also have a background in setting up and maintaining servers for various kinds of apps.</p>
<p><strong>honorable mention</strong>: my coworker <a href="https://casey.kolderup.org/">casey</a> made <a href="https://postmarks.glitch.me/">postmarks</a>, a social bookmarking site using activity pub so you can follow it on other fediverse platforms like mastodon. i remixed it to create <a href="https://postgrunge.glitch.me/">postgrunge</a> and i am still working on styling for it before i really start sharing cool apps on it. casey is a great person to follow if you, too, are on a journey to rediscovering how you do discovery on the web.</p>
<p><strong>unhonorable mention</strong>: i made a fork to <a href="https://joinmastodon.org/">joinmastodon.org</a> to update my old, private mastodon account with my new, public instance and now i get cold emails every week from entrepreneurs who think i'm the creator of mastodon <em>and</em> that my name is santa claus (my github display name).</p>
<h4>three.js</h4>
<p>i started taking this <a href="https://threejs-journey.com/">three.js journey course</a> online a few months ago and <a href="https://glitch.com/@jennschiffer/three-js">posted a few of my projects</a> so far but not all of them. i have to revisit to finish the last 2 lessons of the course, which is a goal of mine for january. i love being able to make 3d models and goof around with them in code. btw, blender is super difficult to work with <em>for what reason</em>?</p>
<h4>macropad</h4>
<p>a couple of years ago i got <a href="https://www.adafruit.com/product/5128">an adafruit macropad</a> as a holiday gift from work and i just love it. it's so versatile, i'm always programming new things into the keys. you can see my code <a href="https://glitch.com/edit/#!/macropad?path=README.md%3A1%3A0">here in this glitch app</a>. i'd love to see what others are doing with theirs, and if you know how i can get glyphs (like arrows) to show on the screen please reach out to me asap, my children are starvingggg!</p>
<h4>other stuff</h4>
<ul>
<li>shouts out to <a href="https://third-bit.com/sdxjs/">greg wilson's 'software design by example'</a> for javascript, it was a great read and i still have some excercises to get through, but learning by doing and the doing part relates back to the work...chef's kiss.</li>
<li>shouts out to the glitch community who write in to ask for support. most of my remixes over the past year have been remixes to help you get your projects to work - you all have had me writing javascript, bash, css, html, php, python...and lua? did you know roblox is build on a fork of lua?? bless.</li>
<li>shouts out to the 4 projects (that i can remember) that i have started but have not finished. at least 2 of them will be done soon, keep the others in your thoughts and prayers.</li>
</ul>
<p>happy new year, may your code bring joy to yourself and others and harm no one.
xoxo jenn</p>
get a sticker book2023-11-14T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/sticker-books/<p>during covid quarantine, i decided to try to organize the decade of stickers from my career in the tech industry. i figured that i could fashion a sticker book out of a binder and plastic dividers from the dollar store. this proved to be a major fucking pain in the ass.</p>
<p><a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/1095532124/reusable-sticker-book-gold-and-blue?ref=yr_purchases&variation0=3059844077">so actually found a custom sticker book on etsy</a> in december 2022 and i can say that almost exactly one year into owning it, i love this freaking thing.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/sticker-book-cover.png" alt="photo of my stickerbook that's 11x7, covered in a blue and gold cheetah print and has big text saying "jenn's sticker book"" /></p>
<p>i mean, come on, it has MY NAME ON IT! it's just so flippin cute, ok i need to relax. i'm 16 1/2 11x7" pages into the book. here's that page so far lol: makeup, deftones, my employer playing on the live laugh love phrase, and weed (legal)...these are a few of my favorite things.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/sticker-book-page.png" alt="photo of a 1/2 full page in my sticker book which has stickers representing glossier the makeup brand, a couple of weed companies and a local dispensary, a deftones sticker that's "ironically" pastel and has a rainbow, and a sticker that says "live waf love"" /></p>
<p>anyway, i'll make an app where you can page through my sticker book, but that's going to take awhile and i wanted to share this with you before the holidays. a sticker book: awesome gift for any age!!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn, NOT SPONSORED!!</p>
my 2016 electric objects interview, revisited2023-09-02T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/electric-objects-interview-revisited/<p><em>wanna feel like shit? 2016 was 7 years ago lol!</em></p>
<p>that summer i had done a couple of collections for the late digital art display startup, electric objects. they <a href="https://www.theverge.com/circuitbreaker/2017/6/27/15881980/electric-objects-shutdown-giphy-art-club">shut down</a> and sold their apps to giphy in 2017, who then got <a href="https://techcrunch.com/2020/05/15/facebook-to-acquire-giphy-in-a-deal-reportedly-worth-400-million">bought by facebook</a> but then i guess the government decided THAT was the line mark zuckerberg crossed as far as being anticompetitive. they were forced to sell for an <a href="https://variety.com/2023/digital/news/giphy-sold-meta-shutterstock-1235622548/">embarrasing loss to shutterstock</a> who i assume is the reason every electric objects url is now broken? as it stands, i have a large digital frame that's basically useless unless <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/electricobjects/comments/15z6yrd/eo1_replacement_app_v005/">i hack it</a> (which i probably will), and a bunch of broken links i just had to remove from my <a href="https://jennschiffer.com/art/">"portfolio"</a>.</p>
<p><strong>every day is a winding road.</strong></p>
<p>i figured that i'd revisit my interview with eo since it now only exists as a <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20230607090931/https://zine.electricobjects.com/interviews/jenn-schiffer">semi-working page on the wayback machine</a> (the best machine imho). what i'll do here is copy and paste all of the interview and add some commentary, ok? this should be fun.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/93adecd6-9838-42d3-a5fc-c9c0796d3bcc/eo.png" alt="rendered 3d image staging an electric objects digital frame with one of my pixel art pieces called 'pixel perfect tears' which is a crying pixel art face in neon colors" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>“pixelbabes/emotions follows a neon character’s journey through a range of emotions who at times has to fake happiness, an exercise many of us know too well.” — Alex, Electric Objects</p>
</blockquote>
<p>alex and literally every other person i interacted with at electric objects were very cool and kind and i hope they are all thriving rn! i loved this interpretation of my collection, alex absolutely nailed it.</p>
<h4>Can we see a picture of your workspace and/or desktop?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a1.jpg" alt="my old home office that had a tiny desk and 3 screens" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>This is a corner of my humble home office. I’m a web developer so I have 3 screens.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>since then i've upgraded to web developer community management and also upgraded to only 2 screens - it's just that one of the screens is the width of 2 screens. i'll do a blog soon about my home office setup nowadays since it's like a million times nicer than it was when this interview was done.</p>
<h4>Where are you typing this from?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a2.jpg" alt="a photo of a hot pink line art on my bedroom wall and my hand giving the peace sign. i am in my bed but i lifted my webcam so you only see my hand and art." /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>From my bed.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i recently moved from this apartment and had a hell of a time taking down that hot pink artist tape! it left a shadow of the art behind in the form of beige and flaky residue. fortunately my landlord was legally required to paint the place so i didn't get dinged on my security deposit. but lesson learned, i shan't be using artist tape on the walls to make art!</p>
<h4>What do you watch/listen to while working?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a3.png" alt="spotify search results for 'hoobastank'" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>Only the good stuff.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i use tidal now.</p>
<h4>What have you been working on lately?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a4.jpg" alt="photo of a watercolorbot and the drawing is of two grids on top of each other, one blue and the other red" />
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a5.jpg" alt="two pixel lip drawings hanging on my wall, one is watercolor and the other is the same drawing but with ink" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>Drawing with robots, playing with watercolors. Just figuring out different ways to bring pixel art from the screen to IRL.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i just hit about 40 hours into <a href="https://threejs-journey.com/">this three.js course</a> that includes working in <a href="https://www.blender.org/">blender</a>. i've been primarily making (!) and using watercolor over the past couple of years, and last month i picked up an airbrush which has been a lot of fun. i'll share more about that soon. i still have the watercolorbot safely tucked away for when i have an idea of how to use it again. basically, i'm in an exploratory period at the moment where i'm experimenting a lot and just playing with my supplies until i figure out what the next leg of my art journey is.</p>
<h4>What work of yours are you most proud of?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a6.jpg" alt="photo of a newspaper, kunst & media, in dutch that has my pixel art on it - a blue nude and a pinup version of ned flanders" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>My first pixel nude ever. It ended up in this Dutch newspaper alongside a sexy pinup Ned Flanders I drew. I like that underneath the butt is a pull-quote that says “Herbie Hancock was fantastisch.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i'm still proud of this because it's just so fucking stupid (in a lovely way).</p>
<h4>What tools do you use in your work?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a7.jpg" alt="an ink pixel art drawing i made of a nude woman with green hair. you see my pens and ruler and other tools" />
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a8.png" alt="screenshot of my pixel art editor, make8bitart" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>My digital stuff is drawn with a web app I built called make8bitart.com. I also use Photoshop for animating my work. IRL I use ink, gel pens, watercolor. I own a lot of rulers and have a lot of patience.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i canceled my creative cloud subscription several months ago and have been using <a href="https://www.aseprite.org/">aseprite</a> for pixel art instead. i gave up the pens for watercolors. i still use <a href="https://make8bitart.com/">make8bitart.com</a> for scribbling and sketching stuff before i get serious about them in aseprite.</p>
<h4>Can you tell us about your process?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a9.jpg" alt="an in progress drawing of a pixel art nude, a woman with blue hair with her butt showing" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>On paper I draw grids and then just color in the squares. On the computer, I built a lot of the tools I use, so as I draw pixel art I end up breaking away to work on software bug fixes. A lot of my art, especially the nudes, come from poses I found while going to lifedrawing classes.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>this is still the same when i am doing this kind of art, except i primarily use watercolor. i haven't done a pixel nude in quite some time, nor have i been to a figure drawing class! i've been meaning to see where i can go these days, but in the meantime there is plenty of figure poses online - like <a href="https://app.justsketch.me/">justsketchme</a>, <a href="https://quickposes.com/en">quickposes</a>, and <a href="http://reference.sketchdaily.net/en">sketchdaily</a>.</p>
<h4>Any last advice for the folks just starting out?</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/a10.jpg" alt="photo of my arm and i've got a show wristband that says 'eat. drink. be honest.'" /></p>
<blockquote>
<p>Always be making stuff and always be a good person.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i'd update this more specifically to "always be making stuff and minimizing harm".</p>
<h4>Top Five Most Influential Visuals</h4>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/r1.jpg" alt="pixel art of a lizard on a skateboard and it says "SICK" in the corner" />
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/r2.jpg" alt="photo of dan flavin's light installation "Untitled (in Honor of Harold Joachim)" in pink, yellow, blue and green fluorescent light" />
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/r3.jpg" alt="susan kare's pixel icon of a trash can" />
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/r5.gif" alt="animated gif of the words 'welcome to my blog, motherfuckers' rotating" />
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/r6.jpg" alt="mc escher's drawing 'order and chaos' which has a stellated dodecahedron surrounded by various objects" /></p>
<p>these are still true and very iconic to me. i still cannot find who made the skateboarding lizard - please let me know if you have any info on it! the light installation is <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Flavin">dan flavin</a>, the trash icon is by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Kare">susan kare</a>, the word art is by <a href="https://animatedtext.tumblr.com/">animatedtext</a>, and the dodecahedron drawing is by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._C._Escher">mc escher</a>.</p>
<h4>Favorite file formats?</h4>
<blockquote>
<p>.gif, .js, also .docx for its birth being a seminal moment in post-grunge file format creation</p>
</blockquote>
<p>still true! some would say they are surprised i didn't say "spreadsheets" but those are at a higher level than any mere <em>files</em> could be.</p>
<h4>What are the best places to see your work?</h4>
<blockquote>
<p>Jennmoney.biz, twitter.com/jennschiffer, instagram.com/jenn</p>
</blockquote>
<p>shortly after this i deleted my facebook and instagram. earlier this year i deleted my twitter. jennmoney.biz redirects to <a href="https://jennschiffer.com/">jennschiffer.com</a> and i'm still trying to figure out the best way and place to share my art.</p>
<h4>What sites do you visit for inspiration?</h4>
<blockquote>
<p>Instagram & tumblr</p>
</blockquote>
<p>now i find inspiration from pinterest, tiktok and youtube</p>
<h4>Whose work do you follow?</h4>
<blockquote>
<p>Dan flavin, susan kare, jeanette hayes, miranda “lazy bones” lorikeet, henri matisse, all my friends</p>
</blockquote>
<p>lol at me "following" matisse's art. still waiting for him to follow me back on pinterest. joking aside...i gotta say it's much more difficult to follow artists without an instagram or twitter account and i'm very much hoping that the art community is able to embrace decentralized social media someday so their content is not locked behind login screens. i wonder if artists know that it's very hard to see their posts on instagram and twitter if you don't have accounts!</p>
<h4>What are your favorite galleries, museums, exhibits, etc.?</h4>
<blockquote>
<p>MoMA, Whitney, the Met, David Zwirner gallery, anything with neon lights</p>
</blockquote>
<p>i haven't been to a museum or gallery in about 5 million years. actually, that's not true - i find myself dropping in on the sprinkling of galleries in the tribeca/canal st area as i'm often around there. i've been avoiding larger museums because people there are always coughing without covering their mouth??</p>
<h4>Thanks for the interview, Jenn</h4>
<p>thank <em>you</em> actually. sorry that electric objects didn't work out and was ahead of its time - the nft community would have fucking came out of their eyes about it if it had held out another 5 years lmao!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
karol polak made 8-bit art2023-08-21T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/karol-polak/<p>one of my favorite things in the entire world is receiving email or <a href="https://cohost.org/jennschiffer/post/2364842-1-of-the-3-reasons-i">coming upon posts</a> of people using <a href="https://make8bitart.com/">make8bitart.com</a>, which is a free in-browser pixel art editor i've built and been maintaining since my own learning-to-javascript journey back in 2011 - 12 years ago! over the past 12 years teachers have been using it to teach their students how to make characters for stories and games, game developers have used it to prototype scenes, knitters and cross-stitchers have used it to plan out their next beautiful artwork, and parents have even used the source code to teach their kids how websites are made.</p>
<p>back in november, i received an email with the subject "make8bitart is fun" and the following kind words:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Hello!
I'm writing just to let you know that your website ( https://make8bitart.com ) has served me as a tool to make my Master's Degree prints! :) You can see them on my instagram if you're interested </p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/karolxpolak/">https://www.instagram.com/karolxpolak/</a></p> <p>Best regards<br />Karol Polak </p><p></p>
</blockquote>
<p>i was in love with what i was seeing and asked if i could buy a couple of pieces and know more about the project.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>"These prints are part of my Master's Degree in Graphic Arts at The Academy of Fine Arts in Gdańsk. I named this cycle 8-bit Rain Garden (it rhymes in polish :D ). I focused primarily on the search for painterly pixel values and the transformation of the impressions characteristic of the screen into a material object in the form of a print on paper. The themes are based on the language of digital culture. Old computer games, pixel art, and the lofi theme (low accuracy) inspired me to create the composition (and obviously make8birtart.com!). The process of creating the works is a combination of digital processing and manual dissolving of the print with water."</p>
</blockquote>
<p>after moving apartments, a bit of drama around a former neighbor hiding my packages for some strange reason, and the (pleasant) surprise that these works were not - as i assumed - the size of standard printer paper, we have these beautiful works on display. this one is called XRAY:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/karol-polak.jpg" alt="photo of a brick wall with a large poster hanger holding a large sheet of hearty cream paper that has pixel art of a skeleton and other cool things, and the work was processes so it looks almost watercolory and airbrushed around the pixel drawings" /></p>
<p>i have RAINBOW hanging on the opposite side of the wall. i bought the poster hangers off of etsy. if you find yourself on a video call with me while i'm working from home, or if i do any streaming in the future, you'll get to see XRAY bringing beautiful pixels and colors to the rest of my curated backdrop.</p>
<p>these are a couple of my most prized possessions and i thank karol for letting me purchase their artwork from the other side of the globe. and i thank the jenn of 2011 for building something in the open so others can use it and connect using art.</p>
<p>if you use <a href="https://make8bitart.com/">make8bitart.com</a> i'd love to see what you create - my email is jenn@dotbiz.info.</p>
<p>speaking of creating things, i've had the month of august off of work and been exploring the answer to the question "what do you do when you're not at work" which has been impossible for me, but i'm doing a lot of work on that and making good progress. i look forward to sharing more soon.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
arnold palmers for people who are trying to cool it on the sugar2023-07-04T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/arnold-palmer/<p>somehow over the last couple of months i ended up living in a whole different apartment! with a 3rd name to add to the crazy straw collection!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/ap-straws.jpeg" alt="a selfie where i'm posting dramatically in front of a wall of spice shelves and above them are 3 crazy straws that spell out "andy" "pumagreg" and "jenn"" /></p>
<p>while the situation as a whole is an absolute banger of an upgrade, i am still adjusting to having a smaller kitchen. the appliance situation is nice, though. it's our first steel refrigerator <em>and</em> working dishwasher. the dishwasher was such a foreign concept to us that it took me over a month to work up the nerve to use it lol.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/ap-freezer.jpeg" alt="a steel fridge freezer door filled entirely with magnets, gizmos and photos of friends" /></p>
<p>andy was craving an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Palmer_(drink)">arnold palmer</a> (half lemonade, half ice tea, half <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Palmer">pro golfer</a>) today, but the ones in the grocery store have way more sugar than we like to consume in a drink, so i decided to make some at home. i followed most of <a href="https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/a29813418/arnold-palmer-drink-recipe/">this 'perfect arnold palmer' recipe</a> with just a few changes. for one, i only needed to juice 4 lemons, which is great because my compost bucket was overflowing already and i am too scared of getting struck by lightning to walk it to the collection bin.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/ap-compost.jpeg" alt="photo of a compost collection bin overflowing with squished lemon halves" /></p>
<p>instead of 3/4 cup of sugar (which i keep spelling "<a href="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/suger.jpg?v=1688515069808">suger</a>" as i type this, what the hell) i used 1/2 cup of monk fruit sweetener and i only kept it on the heat until it boiled, i didn't boil for 2 minutes. the tea i used was pg tips, which was the right move.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/ap-mint.jpeg" alt="photo of a little yellow egg dish filled with fresh mint that says "you tried"" /></p>
<p>andy told me i should take a photo of my cute mint garnish in my little <a href="https://adamjk.com/">adamjk</a> egg dish. i'm thinking of hiring him as creative director of live laugh blog industries. i will pay him in exposure and also freshly brewed and squeezed beveraginos.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/ap-ap.jpeg" alt="two mason jars full of fresh, cold arnold palmers with fresh mint and metal straws" /></p>
<p>it's so good and refreshing, and i couldn't imagine enjoying this with 3/4 cups of sugar, even as a sugar fiend. i'd go so far as to say this drink is more of a concentrate; i've been pouring one part tea and one part water and then adding a bunch of ice.</p>
<p>now i have to figure out what to do with all this fucking mint. in the meantime, andy is sending all of the dirty dishes to mount splashmore (i've just decided that's what i'm calling the dishwasher).</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
condemned to blog2023-06-27T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/causal-islands-2023/<p>welcome to my blog. i've been busy, thanks for asking!</p>
<ul>
<li>january: depression</li>
<li>february: depression</li>
<li>march: depression, working on a conference talk</li>
<li>april: working on a conference talk, apartment search</li>
<li>may: apartment search, moving</li>
<li>june: moving, unpacking</li>
</ul>
<p>i am presently not depressed, living on the moon, and here to share <a href="https://www.causalislands.com/sessions/condemned-to-compute-how-witnessing-the-last-20-years-of-computing-tells-me-were-going-to-be-punished-with-at-least-another-20">the talk i gave at causal islands in april</a>. the talk title is "CONDEMNED TO COMPUTE: HOW WITNESSING THE LAST 20 YEARS OF COMPUTING TELLS ME WE’RE GOING TO BE PUNISHED WITH AT LEAST ANOTHER 20" and you can watch it in its entirety, for free, here:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OfHQbdqeadk" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>this was my first conference (attendance <em>and talk</em>) since 2019, and it turns out that it's just as much hard work and chaos as it's ever been <em>plus</em> there's the newly added anxiety of traveling in a post-andrew-cuomo-cancelled world. andy (my partner, not a cuomo) came with me and we got to eat a lot of good food along with what one restaurant boasted as "the sofia loren of tiramisu." i think it just was sofia loren's recipe? it was okay! they garnished it with 3 blueberries, which was certainly a choice.</p>
<p>i very much enjoyed the other talks i watched (i specifically gave a shout out to <a href="https://www.causalislands.com/sessions/holistic-local-first-software-on-the-p2p-web">mauve</a>, <a href="https://www.causalislands.com/sessions/the-many-stories-of-algorithmic-improvisation-aka-artistic-live-coding">david ogborn</a> and <a href="https://www.causalislands.com/sessions/dynamic-documents-as-personal-software">geoffrey litt</a>'s talks in my own). it's an honor to be considered a a peer among such a creative group of artistic, academic, and future-thinking educators that advocate for community governance and a decentralized web.</p>
<p>a few things i wanted to note:</p>
<ol>
<li>if you are giving a talk with a q&a, be prepared to answer "have you considered using large language models?" even if your talk is about how to make (for example) iced water.</li>
</ol>
<p>actually that's the only thing i wanted to note. was <em>i</em> prepared for this question? yes, but no one asked it because i addressed it in my talk. i think if i were asked, i would have responded with "are you an ai? this sounds like something an ai would ask." you can borrow that answer if you ever find yourself in the hot seat.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
how to grow a web presence, 1/n2023-01-17T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/how-to-grow-a-web-presence/<p>in 2013 i grew a significant following after entering the javascript conference talk circuit as the "art and code" girl at the basketball company who also wrote <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wewAC5X_CZ8">tech satire</a> which scared a generation of web developers into reading more critically and commenting more kindly (if at all). i never really loved twitter as a platform, but i loved a lot of people who worked on it and it was fun to goof around on, just like medium.com was fun to fool and get yelled at by web developers who could not fathom a woman being wrong online on purpose. it's been almost 10 years since i entered the scene and would you believe that everywhere is less fun and everyone is more dumb!</p>
<p>the places we grew our careers and social circles on have all been damaged beyond repair by men who, despite having billions of dollars, look like they have the suds and the emotional intelligence of a paper straw 5 minutes after it has entered my iced latte. they're surrounded by yes-men with less-money who are about half as smart as the character i played in my early satire days. i truly hope they all find the immortality they seek, and also that they then get trapped in quicksand, respectfully.</p>
<p>now that i have laid my credentials out on the table, it's about time i start talking about growing one's web presence. a coworker was telling me today how they were hoping to create more developer content and share it on social media and mentioned twitter. this lead to me going on this whole spiel about how we should work to remove "twitter" from the words in our strategies for connecting to communities and growing our personal (and professional) networks. i think our focus should be on content and messaging; how and where we post is like how we plate or package our meals in that it can be done in many ways - but i typically don't come up with recipes with packaging only in mind.</p>
<p>it sucks, but we're all going to have to shift gears and learn some tough, but important, lessons about the social media we contribute to - not just consume. i beg of my peers to consider portability of their following (ie. have a mailing list and a blog), consider the risk of a platform you use <a href="https://kotaku.com/twitch-hasan-piker-tiktok-permaban-black-lives-matter-1849995907">cutting off access for seemingly no good reason</a>, dramatically <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2023/1/13/23553746/youtube-swearing-advertising-policy-change">shifting goal posts</a> or whatever elon "krang but with an exo-skeleton of a 2016 boomer meme facebook group in physical form" musk is doing with twitter.</p>
<p>anyway, i need to find a new service to move my mailing list to because <a href="http://help.getrevue.co/en/articles/6819675-we-ve-made-the-difficult-decision-to-shut-down-revue">revue shuts down tomorrow</a>. man i love this industry and the earthworms with asses on both ends that get to call the shots in it.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/nutsacks.jpg?v=1674017282747" alt="screenshot of a bloomberg interview of david sacks where he looks like a sad sack and the lower third has his name and "SACKS: WORRY THAT BIG TECH HAS THE POWER TO CENSOR"" /></p>
fmk: butterfly clips, thyroid disease, seventh grade?2023-01-10T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/butterfly-clips-seventh-grade/<p>i've been using <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/command-strips-lemon-dill-chickpea-pasta/">the butterfly clips i bought last week</a> to pull back my bangs when i work out. it works so much better than a headband, which often creased and ruined my wavy fringe.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/butterfly-clips.jpeg?v=1673399509275" alt="photo of my head from up above showing for butterfly clips holding my bangs back. i’m in a gym locker room." /></p>
<p>what you can't see in that photo is the fresh quarter-sized bald spot smack in the middle-back of my head. i've <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/tag/alopecia/">documented a bit of my alopecia journey on here</a> before, and i thought i finally stopped the losing-hair part, but...lol, i fuckin thought huh!</p>
<p>i stopped crying about my hair loss back in august when i stopped going to the dermatologist for steroid shots. my friend died and i was grieving and i was just tired of <em>all the fucking pain and grief</em> that i couldn't even take personally because how do you get revenge for something that was no ones fault but, like, nature? <em>[editor's note: i tried but could not bring myself to make a joke here about how i'm going to start littering as revenge.]</em></p>
<p>i decided to go back to the basics last week and try to get my hashimoto's disease into remission ahead of my next round of tests in a few months. i am going to the gym, doing <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-have-made-it-6-weeks-into-build-strength-training-program/">the strength training program i did over 2 years ago</a>, going on more walks, and trying to go to bed earlier. with these adjustments and more, i am pretty optimistic - i guess!</p>
<p>anyway, the butterfly clips are real cute, surprisingly practical, highly recommended, etc.</p>
<h4>4 other things i remember from 7th grade besides butterfly clips</h4>
<ol>
<li>in french class i coughed and my friend, who was going through one of those "i want to be an emt when i grow up" phases, said "i know your lungs aren't filled with water because if they were you'd be dead" and i thought it was so fucking funny and out of nowhere that i couldn't stop coughing and the teacher made me take it out to <em>[intentionally offensive franglish] la nurse's offeese</em></li>
<li>i had a crush on my homeroom teacher's wife who i never met and literally knew nothing about except for the fact that she looked like mariah carey in the photo of her he kept on his desk - at least i <em>thought</em> she did, who really knows!</li>
<li>a science teacher put his hand on my desk and told the class that if he stood there for some unrealistic number of years, the atoms of his hands and the desk would merge together and i was too shy then to say "i think you'd die and decompose actually" and i carry that regret to this day. you can blame my shyness back then on trauma, though, so i really need to give myself some grace there!</li>
<li>the girl who had a locker next to mine had a small handbag made out of a coconut and i thought it was the most creative, clever thing in the world.</li>
</ol>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
command strips and lemon dill chickpea pasta2023-01-07T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/command-strips-lemon-dill-chickpea-pasta/<p>i was in target earlier this week looking for a couple of things for my home. i know that target has a reputation for being full of really annoying women, and it’s true – i am really annoying women. the reality, though, is that behind every actually annoying woman in target is an even more annoying college-age son who she’s trying to match the energy of so they get get the hell going without her taking on herself whatever adventure he is on. i salute the moms actually trying to get their crusty sons through life without falling into the ✱ndrew t✱te pipeline! 🫡</p>
<p>i was in the aisle looking at the velcro command strips that i like to use to hang up paintings and posters and stuff, when an annoying college-age son was hollering 1 foot away from me to his mother who was all the way in a different aisle. he was yelling “what the fuck are these” so i told him what the fuck are those. <a href="https://www.command.com/3M/en_US/command/how-to-use/picture-hanging-strips/">command strips are renter-safe velcro stickers</a> that you use to hang things on your wall instead of using nails. they rule.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/command-strip-office.png?v=1673131818527" alt="photo of art on my walls i am holding a frame, showing the back having a command strip and the wall having the other half of the velcro strip. i circled both of them to call attention to them." /></p>
<p>the thing about annoying college-age sons is that when they ask a question and it gets answered by anyone other than their mom, they freeze like a deer in the headlights for a moment and then say that actually they <em>do</em> know what they are, he was just wondering about…[picks up the same product in another size].</p>
<h4>our current society’s first target haul of 2023</h4>
<ul>
<li>command strips - includes a tiny little level that looks like it’s filled with <a href="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/s-l500-1.jpg?v=1673131530111">ecto cooler</a></li>
<li>clear shower liner that i have to cut in half for my stall-sized shower</li>
<li>10-pack of washcloths for the gym because i joined a new one that doesn’t do towel service and theirs cost $2 a piece</li>
<li>2-pack of microfiber hair wraps, which i use after showers but they are also great for wearing during at-home workouts</li>
<li>1 large claw clip</li>
<li>10-pack of butterfly clips that were popular when i was in 7th grade</li>
<li>2-pack of shrimp ramen cat toys (for pumagreg, not for me)</li>
</ul>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/shrimp-ramen-cat-toys.png?v=1673132073977" alt="photo of 2 cat toys, one is a shrimp with a feather and the other is a fake packet of ramen" /></p>
<p>what target didn’t have:</p>
<ul>
<li>tiny drain cover to keep the cockroaches in the pipes from getting trapped in and shitting all over my impossible-to-climb-out-of sink</li>
</ul>
<p>this was fine because i ended up finding the perfect size cover at c.h. martin yesterday.</p>
<h4>lemon dill chickpea spinach pasta to eat while blogging about your next target haul</h4>
<p>ingredients:</p>
<ul>
<li>1 tbsp of olive oil</li>
<li>fresh dill, how ever much makes your heart sing</li>
<li>juice from 1/2 lemon</li>
<li>1 cup of pasta (i use veggie-based because they have hella protein)</li>
<li>handful of spinach</li>
<li>1 tbsp of vegan butter</li>
<li>1/2 can of chickpeas</li>
<li>salt and pepper</li>
</ul>
<p>while the pasta is boiling, saute the chickpeas in a pan until they’re browned a bit or however you like them. turn off the heat and then put the handful of spinach on top and cover the pan so they can wilt.</p>
<p>when the pasta is done, drain it, put it back in the pot with the butter, dill, and lemon juice. turn the heat back on and add everything in the other pan and add a bunch of black pepper and a little salt.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/dill-lemon-chickpea-pasta.png?v=1673131819060" alt="photo of a bowl of lemon dill chickpea spinach pasta on my kitchen table" /></p>
<p>make sure to eat the pasta with a spoon like a serial killer would.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
2023: the year of blog on the desktop2023-01-02T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/2023/<p>remember when i brought back blogging, single-handedly, in 2020? then i got depressed lol? a lot of things happened, some really good and some really fucking awful. a year in review, more like a year in the fucking bin!</p>
<p>i've got nothing to lose with going into the new year hopeful, though: i'll be hitting 4 years of no alcohol in april, i've got a job, andy and i are (generously) 1/5 through the playground scene in powerwash simulator, i can still afford therapy even with the new year's fee increase, and i'm pretty close to perfecting a recipe for vegan mac and cheese sauce that's i've been working on all year.</p>
<p>here's my first list of the new year:</p>
<h4>new years resolutions for 2023, in order from easiest to most difficult</h4>
<ol>
<li>avoid tax evasion</li>
<li>drink more water</li>
<li>don't wait 6 months to get a haircut</li>
<li>eat different vegetables (not just spinach lmao)</li>
<li>be more active</li>
<li>paint more paintings</li>
<li>learn a new web development skill</li>
<li>stop forgetting my wallet so i don't have to jump turnstiles (allegedly)</li>
<li>do 5 solid push-ups</li>
<li>stop making jokes about my hypothyroidism being from eating microplastics</li>
</ol>
<p>i have off of work this week and i'm using the time to organize my scattered notes through the last year, update my <a href="https://jennschiffer.com/">glitch in bio</a> to include more of the art and stuff i've made, and i need to find a small drain cover because the roaches traveling through the pipes of my building seem to think my bathroom sink is the wardrobe into fucking narnia.</p>
<p>happy new year, ya scamps. BLOGGING IS BACK, BABY!!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>ps. i'm not active on twitter anymore, <a href="https://pixel.kitchen/@jenn">but i made my own mastodon instance</a>, and i've been <a href="https://cohost.org/jennschiffer">microblogging on cohost</a> during my hiatus from <em>PURE UNADULTERATED BLOGGING</em>.</p>
i spent the last month on a pretty cool watercolor project2022-07-23T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-turned-an-eyeshadow-palette-into-watercolors/<p>welcome to my blog. i know it's been over a month since i've lived, laughed and blogged, but this project i'm about to talk about has been taking up my free time and i think you'll find it worth my absence. if you don't find that this is the case, then keep that to yourself 💜</p>
<p>last month i <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/oh-boy-shes-making-watercolors-again/">announced, unsolicited, that i was making watercolors</a>, but i was finding the shades of my old eyeshadow to be uninspiring. my problem was solved when, after therapy, i found myself wandering into the tj maxx on 6th avenue and 19th street - the one across the street from the container store and shares an entrance with marshall's and bed bath and beyond, an actual vortex into hell if there ever was one. turns out hell is both hot and the best place to buy throwaway makeup that at least 100 tourists have opened and swatched in-store. <a href="https://www.revolutionbeauty.us/forever-flawless-hydra-turtle-eyeshadow-palette/13188303.html">i got this sea turtle themed (?) palette for like $8</a>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/01-swatch.jpg" alt="photo of my hand with a blue and purple eyeshadow swatched on it and you can see the palette and my watercolor making gear on the table" /></p>
<p>this palette made some great paint, so i would imagine it is a good eyeshadow formula for the price - if you can find one that no one has opened and touched already. over the course of several nights after work, i'd eat a couple of gumgums (legal), mull paint, and then make these weird abstract paintings with the tools as i was cleaning them off between colors.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/03-sketch.jpg" alt="an abstract watercolor painting in my sketchbook of pink and gold paint, it's got a couple of boobs, a duck, and paint splatter" /></p>
<p>being high and making paint and then painting with the paint has been one of the most euphoric experiences i've ever had - it's like the polar opposite of going to the tj maxx on 6th avenue and 19th street.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/04-table.jpg" alt="photo of my kitchen table showing my watercolor gear, cards in progress, and my black cat pumagreg creeping in the background by the window" /></p>
<p>the amount of paint i could make with each color was more than i could fit back in the pan, so i was making mini-palettes out of watercolor cards so i could send to friends. that actually made the project even more special for me, being able to send a piece of it to some of the people i love.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/05-partial.jpg" alt="a cropped shot of the eyeshadow palette showing some dried watercolor pans, fresh and wet ones, and shadows that i have not converted to paint yet" /></p>
<p>one of the cool things about turning an eyeshadow palette into paint while high is that you don't have to think much - the color scheme was already chosen and go well together, and imperfections basically disappear once you start painting.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/06-wave.jpg" alt="photo of my watercolor gear and i'm halfway through mulling a deep blue paint" /></p>
<p>the hardest part of the process was keeping cat hair and dust from getting in the paint, which is hard when you have a pumagreg who thinks the kitchen table is a runway. but again, all those imperfections basically are moot once you're adding and painting with water. also, i have no aspirations of selling these or making money. i'm just trying to fight the war in my mind and also not spend every night melted into my couch.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/07-card.jpg" alt="photo of a watercolor paper card with blobs of dried watercolor paint on it, a mini custom palette" /></p>
<p>i wasn't sure if the mini-palette watercolor card idea would work but i think they came out great, and the folks who received them were super stoked about it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/08-cardset.jpg" alt="photo of my table with 5 watercolor paper cards spread out. each have swatches of the colors inside and they say 'i made these watercolors and saved some for you to use'"'" /></p>
<p>the cards also gave me a chance to properly swatch the new paints and i think they came out <em>so</em> great! and after years of using my drafting table as my work desk, i finally got a proper desk for my computers so i can reclaim the table for painting a large grid showing off all the new colors in my new palette.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/09-grid.jpg" alt="photo of my drafting table with a large watercolor paper that has a light grid of 18 by 18 squares on it in pencil. the palette is on the top and you can see me giving face in the mirror of the palette" /></p>
<p>i had originally planned to do a grid showing every combination but "attention to detail" is not a strength of mine after the chewables hit, so i ended up making a weird tetris board?</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/10-painting.jpg" alt="photo of my hand holding the used watercolor palette and a partially finished painting of a grid of colors from the palette in the background" /></p>
<p>the palette held up so well through this week-long process. once you get past the stupid (respectfully) turtle illustration on the palette, it is actually a great form factor for painting - it's got a tin exterior, the mirror is great for mixing and holding it up, and it can handle the spray of water it kept getting to activate and stay wet.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/11-final.jpg" alt="photo of my finished square painting of 18 by 18 1-inch squares using all the shades and combinations of shades from the palette i made" /></p>
<p>and that is the final product that i finished last night. it's like if <a href="https://www.sothebys.com/en/buy/auction/2020/prints-multiples-online-2/ellsworth-kelly-colors-on-a-grid-axsom-140">ellsworth kelly</a> illustrated that <a href="https://duckduckgo.com/?q=kids+book+with+the+fish&t=newext&atb=v274-1&iar=images&iax=images&ia=images&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fi5.walmartimages.com%2Fasr%2F2453598f-ecab-4f0d-9651-6c21516d41b9_1.29dbf22d4844311cc128359726fa11f4.jpeg">kids book with the fish</a> that apparently everyone, except me, read.</p>
<p>in conclusion, that's what i've been doing over the past month and i wanted to share because it's probably the one thing that has been keeping me from spiraling into an actual vortex of hell – at least tj maxx on 6th avenue and 19th street has a visible exit.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>i've been <a href="https://cohost.org/rc/tagged/making%20paint">microblogging my progress on cohost</a> if you want sneak peeks between blogs. my next adventure is a set of neon pigments i bought on etsy to turn into paint. also, i've recently been <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/potch">streaming with potch again</a>, tuesdays at 8pm eastern on twitch. i plan to restart my old morning standup stream again once i'm settled into my new desk setup <a href="https://twitter.com/glitch/status/1527273306771968002">and job</a>.</p>
oh boy, she's making watercolors again2022-06-19T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/oh-boy-shes-making-watercolors-again/<p>there's this beautiful store in san francisco called <a href="https://caseformaking.com/">case for making</a> that a dear friend recommended i visit the last time i was out there (5 years ago, i think!). i bought some beautiful neon half pans from them and they've been a favorite online shop of mine since. here's a video that gives you the gist of how they make their watercolor:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QnzIj1BEVW0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>it was through CfM that i found out about <a href="https://shop.kremerpigments.com/us/">kremer pigments</a> who basically neighbors ny penn station. in january of 2018 i took one of their <a href="https://shop.kremerpigments.com/us/events/courses/">"make your own watercolor" courses</a>. i had planned to go with a then-coworker but there was some sort of miscommunication where they decided not to go and just didn't tell me, so i was on my own except for other strangers with a shared interest in doing one of the hardest arm workouts of our lives in the name of art.</p>
<p>here's the palette i brought home after it cured overnight at the shop. ignore that middle row of half pans, and bear in mind that this palette is over 4 years old at this point.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-kremer-palette.png?v=1655678912860" alt="photo of a watercolor palette with a bunch of full pans of dried up or gooey watercolor paints" /></p>
<p>it was a pretty awesome experience and paint haul for what cost me $120. i didn't mix <em>all</em> of those paints, a few were from my classmates who had mixed too much and had pans to spare. it was a lovely class, my arm was killing me from all the mulling, and i was equipped with the confidence that i could make my own paint if i wanted to.</p>
<p>a few months ago i was going through my old makeup to fit it into a smaller drawer and came across a small bag of single-pan eyeshadows that had long expired but remained in my drawer so i can try making watercolors of them. i had the glass and the muller to do it, but not the binder fluid. i went on the etsy of a tiktoker i follow who makes pigments and paints and bought <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/865007958/how-to-make-watercolor-binder-instant">her recipe for binder</a>. it's a great guide but i just haven't found myself in the headspace to track down all the ingredients. fortunately, she started <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/1098565267/ready-watercolor-binder-4oz">selling ready made watercolor binder</a> so i got that. she also sells...freeze dried skittles. i have not gotten those yet.</p>
<p>so today i made my first watercolor at home, and i'd like to share my process.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-tools.png?v=1655679501042" alt="photo of my table with a glass sheet, a muller, binder bottle, single-pan eyeshadow and palette knife" /></p>
<p>the eyeshadow i used was "hollywood" from nyx and is a dry white shimmer that has absolutely no pay-off on my skin <a href="https://www.makeupalley.com/product/showreview.asp/ItemId=85012/Single-Eye-Shadow---Hollywood/NYX-Professional-Makeup/Eye-Shadow">or anyone else's, it seems</a>. i couldn't even get a good swatch of it on my hand.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-eyeshadow.png?v=1655679842365" alt="photo of my hand and i'm trying to show off the white shimmer on my hand but it's incredibly faint" /></p>
<p>and here is the "pigment" in powder form after i used the palette knife to break it up and remove it from the pan. yes, this was very satisfying, no i did not record it for you.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-pigment.png?v=1655680086797" alt="photo of the eyeshadow in powder form in a pile on my glass slab next to the palette knife" /></p>
<p>the hardest part about making watercolor paint is not the constant mulling or the cleanup, it's keeping pumagreg from getting too close and getting his hair in the paint.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-puma.png?v=1655679935162" alt="photo of pumagreg inspecting the things on my table, particularly my vegetables" /></p>
<p>the second hardest part is the constant mulling. it's basically like mixing something really well by hand when you wish you had a standing mixer. still, it's another satisfying part of this process, unless your fucking cat doesn't just pick a spot to park instead of wandering back and forth shedding hair everywhere!!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-mulling.png?v=1655679970177" alt="photo of pumagreg, my black cat, on the table and getting a little too close to my paint for comfort" /></p>
<p>the cool thing about using makeup for making watercolor is that you can reuse the pan it came in. this one is now curing, open, in a safe-from-cat-hair spot (if such a utopia exists).</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-pan.png?v=1655680260788" alt="photo of me holding up my eyeshadow pan that's filled with the watercolor i made of it" /></p>
<p>this was a good eyeshadow to start with because the pan was big enough to hold and overflow of the paint, and making it into paint will give it a new life instead of it ending up in the trash. i hope it cures well! like my candlemaking, i base my measurements off of vibes, unless there's a fire hazard which there is not with this kind of paintmaking as far as i can tell?</p>
<p>anyway, this isn't a paint that i could do much with on its own, but i think it will make a really cool topper or glitter to mix with other colors:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/paint-swatch.png?v=1655680496220" alt="photo of my new paint in its pan and i'm holding up a small paper swatch of the paint, it's more a silver micro glitter than a pigmented color" /></p>
<p>i have about half a dozen more eyeshadows to upcycle into paints and i want to then do a big painting with them all. it's been too long since i've painted after developing hand tremors several months ago, but lately i've been having more better days about them than bad. it's time to get back into practice! 🎨👩🎨</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
candle-making my way to a cento fine foods sponsorship2022-06-12T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/candle-making-cento/<p>i took an afternoon off of work last week to make up for working on an office holiday – typical for hot, smart babes whose job it is to support their users. with a new set of <a href="https://www.candlescience.com/">candlescience</a> fragrance oils delivered, i <a href="https://twitter.com/bringsjohn/status/1533565695430119425">ate a chewable</a> (legal) and tried to see how many candles i could make before it hit.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/june-candle-process.png" alt="a photo of my kitchen table, with my black cat pumagreg in the background, with a veganaise jar full of hot purple wax and there are a bunch of small fragrance oil bottles and wax dye flakes in little bags" /></p>
<p>i may not have blogged about making candles in several months, but don't let that create ASSUMPTIONS that i have not been melting wax all this time. <em>this afternoon's</em> session was special: i have been saving this old-branding vegenaise jar. the grapeseed oil vegenaise comes with a purple lid and that's why i get it over the other options. andy finds this very cute, so i'm sharing it with you so that you also feel that way.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/june-candle-poured.png" alt="a photo of my kitchen table, with my black cat pumagreg in the background, covered in jar lids, wax dye flakes in little bags, and newly-poured colorful candles that are still hot so the colors are very neon and vibrant" /></p>
<p>i had grown quite an inventory of empty jars from <a href="https://www.cento.com/">cento fine foods'</a> collection of condiments, and it was time to upcycle them. look at how delicious and nuclear the colors look when melted!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/june-candle-pouring.png" alt="a photo of my kitchen table, with my black cat pumagreg in the background, and i'm in the middle of pouring a dark blue wax into a matching blue tin mug" /></p>
<p>a tin mug i got at <a href="https://2018.xoxofest.com/art-code">xoxo in 2018</a> had become rusty recently, so i figured i'd make a candle with it too. i also had a maraschino cherries jar left from a maraschino cherry phase i was going through a couple of months ago.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/june-candle-poured2.png" alt="a photo of my kitchen table, with my black cat pumagreg in the background, covered in jar lids and newly-poured colorful candles" /></p>
<p>shouts out to pumagreg for being a good, soft, curious, and not-getting-in-my-way boy that entire session - sincerely! a funny thing that he started doing a few months ago is sitting on the kitchen table, watching the stove and meowing when water starts boiling. that little weirdo thinks he's helping!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/june-candle-cured.png" alt="a photo of 7 candles i made with different pastel colors made of condiment jars and a tin mug" /></p>
<p>the photo above showed the whole batch the next morning. i love how they turned out - notice how smooth they cured! here are the fragrance oils i used, all from <a href="https://www.candlescience.com/">candlescience</a> except for sandalwood:</p>
<ol>
<li>cherries: baby powder</li>
<li>jalapeño peppers: cinnamon candies</li>
<li>pepperoncini: peppermint and eucalpytus</li>
<li>vegenaise: custom mix of sandalwood and fresh-cut grass</li>
<li>artichoke hearts: red sangria</li>
<li>roasted peppers: fall leaves</li>
<li>tin mug: hazelnut coffee,</li>
</ol>
<p>i'm very surprised at how much i like how this hazelnut coffee tin mug candle came out, but i can never keep it at my desk or on the kitchen table because i may accidentally drink it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/june-candle-coffee.png" alt="photo of me holding up my tin mug candle like it's a cup of coffee" /></p>
<p>if you're looking for an affordable, peaceful and productive hobby, i highly recommend candle-making. it's a great way to upcycle jars, and they are fun to give out to friends. that's what i'm going to do with this latest batch.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
pickling red onions2022-06-08T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/pickled-red-onions/<p>andy and i pickled some red onions over the weekend and i feel like we instantly leveled up as both tax-payers <em>and</em> adults with kitchens.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/pickled-onions-jar.png?v=1654653196496" alt="a photo of my hand holding up a mason jar filled with pickled red onions and some peppercorns. it's more of a pink color because the onion color seeped into the vinegar" /></p>
<p>i own a spiralizer with a ribbon blade, so i used that to make the onions more consistently thin and my fingers more consistently <em>not chopped off from the palms</em>. we filled up two ball jars, each with one ribboned red onion, then made the pickling liquid that the AI Of My Mind™ came up with after reading about 30 recipes online 3 weeks prior:</p>
<ul>
<li>2 cups white vinegar</li>
<li>2 cups water</li>
<li>a splash of apple cider vinegar ("why not" i say as i pour a couple tablespoons)</li>
<li>1/3 cup of raw sugar</li>
<li>2 tablespoons of salt</li>
</ul>
<p>we heated those ingredients up in a pot until the sugar dissolved, let the liquid cool, poured it into the jars of onion ribbon, and threw in a diced clove of garlic each and several peppercorns (another "why not" moment). we refrigerated them overnight, but you can basically start eating them in an hour - it's a quick process!</p>
<p>here it is on top of my lunch yesterday: english muffins (has to be <a href="https://www.daveskillerbread.com/killer-classic-muffins">killer classic</a>!), just egg™, tomatoes and spinach - topped with hot sauce and our own pickled red onions. 😛</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/pickled-onions-eggs.png?v=1654653196496" alt="a photo of a plate with english muffins and vegan eggs, tomatoes, spinach and pickled red onions on top" /></p>
<p>from what i've read, these will be good in the fridge for 3 weeks. if you're wondering what you could put these on, the answer is virtually anything that is food: i've had red onions on schmears, tacos, naan sandwiches, hoagies, salads, etc. if i put it on something and it comes out terrible, i'll let you all know.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>p.s. if you hate onions, <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/celery-soda-for-adults-real-grown-ups-only/">here's a recipe for celery soda</a> instead lol</p>
circling back on the aquatic toilet seat2022-06-07T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/aquatic-toilet-seat-acquired/<p>when i <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/aquatic-toilet-seat/">blogged last week that i'd finally order the aquatic toilet seat</a> that i've been thinking about for 8 years, i held up my end of the one-sided bargain and followed through. <a href="https://www.wayfair.com/home-improvement/pdp/daniels-bath-fish-round-toilet-seat-dbas1040.html?source=livelaughblog">it was $59.99</a> when i ordered, and it arrived 3 days later.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/aquatic-toilet-box.png?v=1654650932277" alt="a photo of toilet-seat-sized box that says "Elegant Touch Toilet Seat" and there's a cut-out in the box exposing the toilet seat. Under the cut-out it says "THE BEST SEAT FOR YOUR BATH. NON-RUST ALUMINUM HINGES, CLEAN WITH SOAP AND WATER, EASY TO INSTALL"" /></p>
<p>the box was right, it was easy to install! and it is <em>very</em> elegant. unfortunately for you all, it's against my "no showing bathroom online" rule to show you it in its final form, but i staged a dramatized reenactment of it existing outside of my bathroom:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/aquatic-toilet-closed.png?v=1654650932490" alt="a photo of my new toilet seat, made of blue resin encapsulating fish and seashells, closed and on a black stool in my office" /></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/aquatic-toilet-open.png?v=1654650932490" alt="a photo of my new toilet seat, made of blue resin encapsulating fish and seashells, open on the black stool in my office " /></p>
<p>within moments of taking it out of the box, i decided that i'm taking this toilet seat with me into my grave. no matter how stupid they look, i love every one of these fish like they were my own children.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/aquatic-toilet-fish.png?v=1654650934007" alt="a photo close up of a weird, dumb looking fake fish that's inside a blue resin toilet seat" /></p>
<p>treating myself to an elegant, unconventional toilet seat with non-rust aluminum hinges and easy installation has not only unlocked a new chaos within me, but it makes me almost like my terrible bathroom. after i publish this blog, i'm going to find a deep blue transparent shower curtain to go with it.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>p.s. <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1534349912300732417">here's the official twitter thread where you can congratulate me on my new toilet seat</a></p>
this isn't necessarily the aquatic scene toilet seat i will get but it illustrates my 'point'2022-05-30T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/aquatic-toilet-seat/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/toilet-seat-round-acrylic-aquarium-lg.jpg?v=1653960232846" alt="a store listing photo of a resin toilet seat made to look like an aquatic scene, with fish and shells and stuff" /></p>
<p>we're two weeks shy of my 8-year anniversary of moving to jersey city - hard to believe that around this time i was packing my tiny studio in montclair! as a then-shopper of amazon, the e-commerce website, i was looking for things i'd need for the new place and was recommended a toilet seat with an acquatic scene. it was blue resin, transparent, perfect, and had fish and sand in it. also it was $80 – you can probably buy an actual parrot on amazon these days for under $80!</p>
<p>up to that moment, it had never even occurred to me that <em>you can just have different toilet seats for fun.</em> the price was a bit rich for my blood, though, but at least once a year since then i've thought for weeks about getting it. and with the pandemic helping create hordes of new resin girlies, there are so many more to choose from <em>and</em> you can shop from a smaller creator than jeffrey penelope bezos. i think that makes them worth even more than $80.</p>
<p>let me cut to the chase: i convinced myself that i should get one at least four years ago and the only thing holding me back has been <em>[room goes silent]</em> needing to measure my toilet.</p>
<p><em><strong>[cacaphony of booing]</strong></em></p>
<p>if you asked me how long my toilet seat was, i couldn't tell you until an hour ago, when i checked after starting this blog and realized how fucking embarrassing this should probably make me feel (but it doesn't!). <a href="https://toiletseek.com/toilet-seat-shapes-sizes/">here's a website that helped me</a> learn that i have a "round" or "o" toilet. i theoretically could have learned this 4 years ago, but i also theoretically could have passed a C in senior gym if i simply complied and ended every class doing the cha-cha slide™. yes, i have been sacrificing my peace to avoid complicitness in cringe since at least 2002. measuring your toilet isn't cringe, just having to get up and do math when i just want to buy something is cringe.</p>
<p>anyway i'm going to get a freaking aquatic scene toilet seat this week, ok sorry!!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>p.s. i had a cool idea for a graphic for this post, but i had to install adobe cloud and photoshop on this old work machine so i can bring my vision to life. photoshop is still installing though. 🙄</p>
<p>p.p.s. <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1531449292589780992">here's the official twitter thread where you can congratulate me</a></p>
carousels, cashews, candles and community2022-05-28T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/carousels-cashews-candles-and-community/<p>when i was little, my grandma and i used to take the car service to coney island to ride the carousel. i loved my time with my grandma so much that i kept to myself the constant anxiety in my tummy as we rode in a stranger's car, encountered sketchy men on the boardwalk, and rode the horses in a circle over and over again in the hot and sticky air. i never told her i was scared or that my tummy hurt, because i didn't want her to stop spending time with me. as far as i was concerned back then, my grandma was all that i had.</p>
<p>when she passed away, i was a freshman in college, so at that point my community primarily consisted of late-teen dumbasses like me. i remember someone at our dining hall table, upon hearing the news, responding with kind condolences but then "if my grandma died, i think i'd die." it was a really unhelpful thing to say, and i wish i had spoken up and said it at the time, but even on rollercoasters of extreme emotions - tragedy, celebration, <em>whatever</em> - i've always felt pressured to complete the ride gracefully and just appreciate any expression of condolences, congratulations, or whatever response was in order.</p>
<p>even these days, so many tragedies <em>and</em> celebrations later, i catch myself wondering if just living my life in complete solitude would be easier for everyone and also my tummy. but then i open my apartment door and there's a bag on the door knob with a plastic jug of cashews that my older neighbor occasionally left me as a gift.</p>
<p>the first time this happened, all she knew about me was that i was very good at carrying large cases of water upstairs. she left me a bottle of wine, not knowing i'm sober. she still doesn't know i'm sober - for some reason i feel bad about possibly making <em>her</em> feel bad for not reading my mind, because i'm a weirdo who constantly feels bad for not being able to read minds. these days, she knows that i have a computer she can use whenever her's isn't working, and that i make nice candles - i mean, i assume she likes the candle i made her lol. i love how she puts a gift tag on a snack box with her name, because it shows how thoughtful even a box of peanut butter crackers could be. i imagine she's such a loving grandma, but i don't know if she has grandkids and i'll never ask, as that could be a subject as sore as my no longer having a grandma is. her and i know very little about each other, but we know enough: we exist near each other and we're here if i'm hungry or her groceries are heavy.</p>
<p>i have been hungry a lot this month. my stomach has been doing loop-the-loops over the past couple of weeks for reasons of celebration, like my hair growing back and a huge career milestone, and of sadness and tragedy as i navigate chronic illness while the world outside my little home office escalates in cruelty and violence. work/life balance feels impossible when the life part sucks, and if it weren't for those cashews, i probably wouldn't have eaten much over the past few days.</p>
<p>i'm never really kind to myself, but i try hard to be to others. i know that the more i'm unkind to myself (or "kicking my own ass" as i put it to my therapist), the less energy i'll have to be kind to others. it's something i'm definitely trying to work on but the difficulties of navigating everything going on in the world makes it feel impossible sometimes. i guess that as i got older and more successful, trauma turned to survivor's guilt and it slaps me on my big fat vegetable ass at any moment of feeling good about myself.</p>
<p>the light for me in all of this darkness is knowing i have a community to take care of and to help take care of me. i cooked myself a nice meal today and took a long walk between thunderstorms. i took photos of my neighbors chickens that were eating a hanging cob of corn that looked like a penis, and my favorite bush of tiny pink flowers that i think are petite roses is in full bloom. a friend dm'd me today and said they miss my writing and i do too. i've got a bag of red onions for andy and i to pickle when he comes over, a new thing for both of us to enjoy together.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/petite-flowers.png?v=1653791580643" alt="a photo of some small pink flowers in a bush and they look like little roses but i'm not sure if that's what they are" /></p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
a few very good youtube videos2022-05-14T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/breaking-down-alice-in-chains/<p><strong>want to watch some cool youtube videos? how about three cool youtube videos?</strong></p>
<p>shouts out to <a href="https://twitter.com/JugglinMike">my pal, mike</a> for recommending me <a href="https://youtu.be/cpZA6zV_jVk">this video</a> breaking down the vocal harmonies in alice in chains' catalog, something anyone who likes music (fan of aic or not) should watch:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cpZA6zV_jVk" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>ixi does a really great job of explaining music composition to an audience without that background (very much me), and does a great job advocating for the artistry of the band. i'm a lover of music, but i don't know much about composition or theory, so i appreciate youtubers like ixi taking their incredible knowledge and love for music and giving us dorks ways to articulate why we love the bands that we love.</p>
<p>after you watch that, turn on <a href="https://youtu.be/Gvg242U2YfQ">this video</a> about how different animals percieve the world and prepare to have your worldview changed:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Gvg242U2YfQ" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>i am a computer scientist, not an animal scientist, so i don't know how much of this stuff is hypothesis versus scientific fact, but it's still fascinating to consider the differences in perception that animals have - not just time and space, but color as well. i heard that some shrimps see different colors than we do. is that true? is that fair? <em>guess we'll never know.</em></p>
<p>that video was shown to me by andy, who also saved <a href="https://youtu.be/LzN6ls_pzvo">this video</a> in our shared playlist:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LzN6ls_pzvo" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>i grew up watching dinosaurs and this video does a great job of explaining how great they were at storytelling and teaching important lessons that, looking at the world today, no one learned i guess 🥹😓. i found myself mouthing the words to clips of the show i haven't seen in like 25 years, like i was shocked at how much i internalized from the show.</p>
<p>hope you enjoyed these videos :)</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
welcome to year 3 of live laugh blog2022-05-09T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/live-laugh-blog-year-3/<p>hello friends,</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/wtmb.gif" alt="glittery animation of text that says "welcome to my blog"" /></p>
<p>if you haven't been to the site in awhile, honestly same. i had to take a break for a whole salad of reasons (what's <em>your</em> excuse???), but over the past week i've been updating the site's theme to signal a comeback that the haters will surely be punching the air about – just in time for the 2nd birthday of this beautiful blog i made as a performance of my personal spiral during quarantine.</p>
<p>time to enter year 3 of the spiral 🤘😈🤘</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
the grey muse, an etsy pin haul2022-02-27T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/the-grey-muse-pin-haul/<p>in an effort to make my etsy stop showing me a cannoli dildo (true story, and no i won't link and ruin <em>both</em> of our recommendations), i organized <a href="https://www.etsy.com/people/jennschiffer?ref=hdr-fav&tab=items">my favorites</a> and started searching "pretty pins" and other queries that would save me from the algorithm.</p>
<p>in that journey, i found a local (jersey city!!) seller, <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheGrayMuse">the grey muse</a> who makes really beautiful pins and other items. i ordered some and they arrived quite quickly!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/thegraymuse-haul.jpg" alt="photo of some pins i bought along with the packaging: a lavendar pin, a pin set of colorful little blobs, and an interactive color wheel" /></p>
<p>the lavender pin is what first caught my attention, and then i figured the colorful set of blobs would look really cute lined up my denim vest or a blazer. and, because i'm a absolute ding dong for interactive pins, i got the really cool color wheel.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/color-wheel-gif.gif" alt="animated gif showing me spinning the top wheel on the black and gold color wheel pin" /></p>
<p>check out <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheGrayMuse">the grey muse on etsy</a> to see all the other beautiful flowers and other kinds of wares. by the way, the reason why etsy would show me a cannoli dildo is because i used to search weird stuff for hoobastank2 stream segments (lol "used to" <em>sure, jennifer</em>). i can announce with pride that they've stopped recommending erotic fishing lures.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
she's still balding2022-02-14T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/still-balding/<p><em>content warning and disclaimer: this is a brief post about a health issue, specifically autoimmune hair loss. i'm not soliciting diagnoses, treatments, advice, apologies, sympathy, or proof-of-work cryptocurrencies.</em></p>
<p>i'm overdue on an update about my <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/alopecia-areata-lol/">alopecia, which i've written about before</a>: my current status is <em>ughhhhhhhhhhh...</em></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/new-spot.jpg?v=1644882596105" alt="photo of me holding the side of my hair up with my hand an a hairclip, showing 3 bald spots around the crown of my head" /></p>
<p>i found a new small spot today. it is pretty frustrating because the other two spots finally stopped losing hair and there's a lot of early growth – all it took was a few months of painful steroid shots injected right into my scalp and a topical treatment that i <em>should</em> be doing daily, but my brain cannot get it into my routine because topical steroids scare the shit out of me!</p>
<p>i'm in a weird mental space where i know i am "blessed" to have a lot of hair left to hide the spots, <a href="https://livelaughblog.glitch.me/posts/37/">as seen in my birthday post here</a>, but i also want to...like...shut a window on my head. you know, <em>really give my scalp something to cry about</em> 😌🤌</p>
<p>by the way, <strong>i'm not looking for advice</strong>! i have an endocrinologist who listens to me and a dermatologist's physician assistant who is as gentle as they come. and we're pretty confident, collectively, that we know the root cause and are working on treating it. that's a tale for another time, <em>maybe</em>!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p><span class="outfit">outfit: top by <a href="https://store.linkinpark.com/products/ht-20-street-soldier-crewneck-pullover">linkin park</a></span></p>
on friday i turned 372022-02-13T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/37/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/me-pumagreg-37.jpeg" alt="photo of me holding my black cat pumagreg, posing cute in my kitchen. i'm wearing a blue cropped fuzzy sweater, emerald green satin mid-calf-length skirt and white tube socks that say "EAT SHIT"" /></p>
<p>...and all i got was an increase in my thyroid medication dosage and <a href="https://twitter.com/guzsson/status/1492851713161764867">dns issues</a>. nevertheless, i'm so glad i'm done "being 36" and <em>highly</em> recommend skipping that year if you get the option!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p><span class="outfit">outfit: top by <a href="https://www.savagex.com/shop/fluff-it-up-pj-crop-top-sq2149555-4909-12555487">savage x fenty</a>, skirt by <a href="https://www.universalstandard.com/products/diane-satin-midi-bias-skirt-deep-sea">universal standard</a>, socks by <a href="https://nofun.press/products/eat-shit-socks">no fun</a></span></p>
this is a post about a haircut, spicy candle, elusive vegan turkey roast, gray cake, etc.2021-12-01T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/cutting-hair-thanksgiving/<p>in <a href="https://livelaughblog.glitch.me/posts/alopecia-areata-lol/">my last blog</a> i said i booked a hair appointment, and i'm happy to report that i followed through in that i've since had that hair appointment.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fhair-before.jpg" alt="mirror selfie of me in a salon chair with long hair nearly down to my tits" /></p>
<p>i told the stylist "i want a dramatic change, but on my own terms" which she totally understood, both having had clients with alopecia and having had it herself before. i'm happy with how it came out!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fhair-after.jpg" alt="photo of me with my new haircut, it's about chin-length" /></p>
<p>i took the thanksgiving week off of work to get some blood work done <s>#theranos</s>, crawl my slug of a body down the supply chain to score a last minute vegan turkey roast, and host a very tiny dinner. like last year, i didn't get to do my typical friendsgiving where i host 20-30 folks, but this year we did invite our dear friends, <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/reverend-jenn/">phil and celeste</a>. oh, and andy and pumagreg were there <em>of course</em>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fandy-pumagreg.jpg" alt="photo andy and pumagreg the black cat in my kitchen" /></p>
<p>before our guests arrived and after the food and the <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1464831843274997760">cursed cake</a> were baking or ready to go, andy and i somehow found some time to made a candle <em>obviously</em>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fphil-celeste-candle-kit.jpg" alt="photo of candle supplies on my counter with a beautiful purple/pink ombre mug" /></p>
<p>a couple of weeks ago, andy and i found this mug in a <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/dollar-store-haul/">dollar store</a> and it was too pretty not to buy, and i wanted to make the wax a orange-pink to give a sunset vibe.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fphil-celeste-candle-pour.jpg" alt="photo of me pouring wax into the candle mug on my kitchen counter" /></p>
<p>the fragrance oil i poured was <a href="https://www.candlescience.com/fragrance/sweet-orange-and-sriracha-fragrance-oil/">sweet orange and sriracha</a> which smells citrusy and spicy (are you surprised?) and is one of my favorite fragrances so far.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fphil-celeste-candle-chopsticks.jpg" alt="photo of the candle full of wax and 2 chopsticks being used to prop up a metal wick holder" /></p>
<p>andy did such a good job as both blog-boyfriend and chopstick engineer when the wax hit the wick holder and i had to lift it up somehow. anyway here's some food:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fthanksgiving-food.jpg" alt="photo of my kitchen counter and stove with dinner spread out" /></p>
<p>i managed to get the last vegan turkey roast that was "reasonably priced" - $19.99 at my local store versus the only one vegan essentials had in stock that cost <strong>EIGHTY DOLLARS??</strong>. anyway, i highly recommend the now in-stock <a href="https://store.veganessentials.com/gardein-turky-roast-p3775.aspx">gardein roast</a> (cw: .aspx file extension).</p>
<p>then there was <em>the cake</em>. before i go into what went wrong, i will say that it was absolutely delicious thanks to <a href="https://www.noracooks.com/vegan-chocolate-cake/">"the best vegan chocolate cake" recipe</a> i found online the day before. the only photo i have of it is this blurry one i took while phil was pouring andy some milk:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fthanksgiving-cake.jpg" alt="photo of my kitchen table and phil's pouring andy milk right in front of me. behind the arms are plates with slices of chocolate cake and the entire cake off to the side and kind of blurry" /></p>
<p>there were four things i did wrong with this cake:</p>
<ol>
<li>i knew i had two round pans, but i didn't know until it was time to pour that i had two <em>different sized</em> round pans. i can solve this in the future by getting a matching pan for at least one of them.</li>
<li>my vanilla extract appeared to have evaporated. i can solve this in the future by...i don't know, making sure the lid is closed tightly?</li>
<li>i didn't leave enough vegan butter out to get to room temperature so i had to microwave some more, and so i was adding all these different temperatures for the buttercream. i can solve this in the future by not doing that.</li>
<li>i didn't whip the buttercream enough, so it started to sweat the wet ingredients while i was icing and it made the cake look kind of gray. i can solve this in the future by not doing that.</li>
</ol>
<p>i'm going to make this cake again soon and do a better job of documenting the process and <em>taking my time</em>. stay tuned, and happy december.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
she is beauty, she is grace, she is balding2021-11-12T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/alopecia-areata-lol/<p><em>content warning and disclaimer: this is a brief post about a health issue, specifically autoimmune hair loss. i'm not soliciting diagnoses, treatments, advice, apologies, sympathy, or proof-of-work cryptocurrencies.</em></p>
<p><strong>alopecia areata</strong> is an autoimmune skin disease that typically leaves you with coin-sized bald spots. here is one, for example:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fbalding-lol.jpg?v=1636757057703" alt="photo of me holding my hair up on one side to show a bald spot" /></p>
<p>i found that spot a couple of weeks ago, and an even bigger one on the back of my head the next day. fortunately, i come with <em>a lot of hair</em> which became extremely obvious to andy (best human) as he painstakingly surveyed my scalp for spots.</p>
<p>i started treatment for the alopecia specifically on monday, which entails getting all the bald areas injected with steroids over a few monthly visits. the injections are quick and shallow, like getting little tattoos. the hair is expected to grow back, but if not i will probably get actual <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/02/9b/d8/029bd819495815a3045abd1c4cb1145b.jpg">little tattoos</a> there.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.me/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fderm.png?v=1636758166308" alt="mirror selfie and i'm in a dermatologist office sitting in the patient chair and there's a stock image of a white woman with perfect skin and probably perfect hair lol" /></p>
<p>such sudden hair loss has unsurprisingly lead to me instantly and emotionally detach from all of it. i mean, many of my follicles have betrayed me, and there is no telling how many more will continue to do so! i think about cutting it all off daily, but i know my lane and cutting hair is not in it.</p>
<p><em>[note: i took a break from writing this to book a hair appointment with a proper professional ✔️ how amazing, the power of blogging!]</em></p>
<p>by the way, nothing makes me more frustrated than the pattern of doctors thinking i care more about the hope of my hair growing back than i do about actually fixing what's triggering the autoimmune response. hey doctors, what's your damage? please advise lol!</p>
<p>this post exists simply to let folks know that–yes–hot and smart women face hair loss too, and also to announce that i am now able to make fun of other peoples hair loss and it won't be punching down. i <em>won't</em> do that because it's not my style or of my energy, but i <em>can</em> if i wanted to. people who have lost more hair than me would disagree – but i don't make the rules, i only make the magic.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
brb, circumnavigating the globe2021-11-11T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/rainbow-candles-with-tyler/<p>...haha jk. my pal <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@tyler.kellen">tyler kellen</a> is, though! tyler was my manager for a significant (and actually productive) part of my time at my last job. i hadn't heard from him in a long time when he messaged me a few weeks ago to announce that he was sailing around the world and would be in my area soon. every day is a winding road!</p>
<p>tyler anchored near ellis island and came over this weekend. he asked if we could make candles and of course i was like <em>don't threaten me with a good time!</em> after a trip to the diner for brunch, i took him to the dollar store to pick out some vessels. he picked out 5 shot glasses.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-items.jpg" alt="photograph of my friend tyler looking at different bottles of fragrance oils on my kitchen table" /></p>
<p>i had just received my order from <a href="https://www.candlescience.com/">candlescience</a> the day before, so i had 20lbs of wax and several more scents to choose from. and i made tyler smell all of them. he wanted to make rainbow layered candles with sandalwood and grass scents in every other layer, and one candle without scent in case it's too much for the boat.</p>
<p><em>tyler, now that i'm typing this out, what a ballsy and ambitious commission lmao!</em></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-start.jpg" alt="photograph of my kitchen counter showing all the glasses wicked, dyes and fragrance laid out" /></p>
<p>those of you with hawks for eyes or eyes of a hawk, you're probably wondering "hmm, why are there only 4 shot glasses in that photo of the wicks set up?" well, <em>annoying</em>, i definitely dropped one of them and it shattered into way more pieces of glass that made up the thing to begin with. thrilling!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-me.jpg" alt="photograph of me taking the previous photo" /></p>
<p>that's a photo of me taking the photo and looking extremely natural and in my element. the gourds are rotting and i just haven't had the time to walk them to "the farm" (city compost bin). in order to have my own souvenir of this project, i made the same kind of candle in a larger salsa jar i had laying around.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-sorbet.jpg" alt="photograph of our little candles with 3 small layers of red, orange and yellow that are pastel" /></p>
<p>the candles came out looking delicious, starting out looking like sorbet or candy corn. the funny (ha ha) part about these first three layers is that after we poured them, we got stoned and kept forgetting to put fragrance in the rest of the candles' layers.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-stir.jpg" alt="photograph of tyler stirring our double boiler of wax at my stove next to the counter where we're pouring our candles" /></p>
<p>tyler did a great job, especially with the idea. my brain comes with its own set of ideas, and collaborators help me execute on ones i'd never even consider. like, i love my rainbow candle and it wouldn't have existed if tyler didn't come over and enthusiastically ask to make candles.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-glamour.jpg" alt="photograph of me at a cool angle pouring wax into the candle glasses" /></p>
<p>pouring into the shot glasses was the hardest part. in the future, i'd set out newspaper and pour into glasses onto the kitchen table so there is more space between the containers. i found that when they were so close together, it was hard for me to move one out of the way without spilling the wax.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-pumagreg.jpg" alt="photograph of pumagreg sprawled out on the table near tyler who is petting him" /></p>
<p>the whole process took a few hours because each layer had to cool. we spent the time between talking, drinking non-alcoholic sparkling wine, and paying more attention than we could afford to pumagreg, who worked the hardest out of all of us that day.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tyler-final.jpg" alt="photograph of our final candles on my kitchen table, one is large and in a salsa jar and 4 are small shot glasses. they are rainbow wax going from red to purple in 6 layers" /></p>
<p>i'm really stoked about how these came out. there was some separation of the wax from the shot glasses, and i think it's because i didn't warm the shot glasses before i poured. the salsa jar came out perfectly and i've since removed the label.</p>
<p>i wish comfort and safety to tyler on his journey around this bitch of a earth. i hope he finds really cool pals along the way to share these candles with. and i look forward to being able to host more friends who will, in turn, get to enjoy <em>my</em> rainbow candle.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i spent most of halloween chaotically making candles2021-10-31T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/halloween-chaotically-making-candles/<p>today is halloween and, no, i do not have a costumed addendum to <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/halloweens-of-yesterjenn/">my costume roundup from last year</a>. i <em>did</em> wear a wig that i recently got so i could see what i'd look like with <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1454931778557390859">long blonde hair</a>, though.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-making-blonde.png" alt="photo of me with a long blonde wavy wig on" /></p>
<p><em>this look gets 4 out of 5 pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃</em></p>
<p>i had no plans today except to make candles. i have not made any in a couple of months and my collection of jars to use was starting to get out of hand. i even prepped the night before and <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1454585728810291208">tweeted about it</a> to hold myself accountable.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-making-before.png" alt="photo of some condiment jars, dye flakes, and fragrance oils on my kitchen counter" /></p>
<p>the selection of fragrance oils i have is embarassing – enough to be accused of anti-vax delusions, but too few to impress the deluded – so unfortunately the scents do not match the labels. i <em>did</em> pick colors based on the accent colors of the labeling.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-making-setting.png" alt="photo of 4 candles set to harden, one wick is held by a fork held by a bottle of cholula hot sauce" /></p>
<p>i only have one wick bar, so i had to create a rube goldberg machine of holding all the wicks up. shouts out to my girl, cholula, for helping out. also, pumagreg helped:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-making-pumagreg.png" alt="photo of a black cat sitting on a small box on the kitchen table" /></p>
<p>i think the two pepper candles came out great, but there's something about the brambleberry "basil" fragrance oil that i don't think i like at all! it smells a bit like fernet branca, which makes me want to spew.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-making-after.png" alt="photo of 3 finished candles, a red one in a pepper jar, a small green one in a pepper flake container, and a purple one in a gherkin jar" /></p>
<p>i'm most pleased with the red pepper candle. i'm going to gift it to my friend jenn. she doesn't know this yet, maybe she's reading this and wondering if i'm talking about her! i'm also really fond of my first completed scrap-wax candle:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-making-scrap.png" alt="photo of my hand holding a small, complete candle with turquoise, cobalt blue and red layers" /></p>
<p>i started the day planning 3 good candles, and ended it with 2 excellent candles, 1 good candle, and one candle i find absolutely repulsive but i imagine everyone else would love. you're all weirdos, not me!!</p>
<p>exciting news: i took a break half-way through writing this post to buy more wax and fragrance oils. i'm trying out <a href="https://www.candlescience.com/">candlescience</a> because i discovered that brambleberry is charging almost twice as much for the same wax??? i'll do a haul post when these new items arrive!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
here's what i bought at some dollar stores this week2021-10-28T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/dollar-store-haul/<p>i'm having an awful time and also i don't want to talk about it - i just don't want to create the perception that my life is perfect right before i show you this siiick dollar store haul, made between two shops in sunnyside this week.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/dollar-store-haul-1028.png" alt="photo of my kitchen table with my dollar store items laid upon it, each of which i'm describing below" /></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>a sudoku book.</strong> if you love doing sudoku, crosswords or any other word/number puzzles, your local dollar store (if you're so lucky to live near one) will have <em>plenty</em> of them. if you don't love doing puzzles, what's your damage (<em>respectfully</em>)?</li>
<li><strong>4 mosaic mirror sheets in purple, blue, red and gold.</strong> these are mirror stickers that i am going to try to make some rad pixel art with! i was very excited to see this and will keep an eye out for more colors in other stores. by the way, <em>pbs kids</em> is quite a departure from the <em>bazic</em> brand i'm used to seeing at dollar stores.</li>
<li><strong>a black and irridescent glass skull mug</strong>. dan akroyd and his gimmick (<em>respectfully</em>) vodka are SHAKING. i'm going to make a candle with this!</li>
<li><strong>2 gold photo frames</strong>. i love buying frames from the dollar store, they come in so many varieties! i've been making some small paintings that would look great in these cheaply ornate ones.</li>
</ol>
<p>if you're paying attention, yes, that's kate hudson. i'm lucky that it was a nice frame, but regardless i would have purchased it anyway because (as i'm sure most of you do) i collect dollar store frames with celebrity stock inserts.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/dollar-store-haul-collection.jpg" alt="photo of my looking distressed and holding up 3 photo frames, each with stock images of kate hudson, avril lavigne, and hillary duff" /></p>
<p>i've only seen white blonde celebrities, which i'm sure has to do with some white supremacist image search algorithm, but if you see any other celebrities used as stock inserts out in your local stores, please send me a photo!</p>
<p>fun, free fact: i look concerned in that photo because the phone kept falling halfway through the timer. the above was the best shot i could get after about 5 of these:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/dollar-store-haul-ceiling.jpg" alt="photo of my kitchen ceiling light and the very tip of my messy bun, taken by my phone as it was falling mid-shot" /></p>
<p>a few of you have reached out to say you miss my stream and watching me virtually "window shop" so i hope this post in particular finds you well. browsing through dollar stores with andy is my second favorite pastime next to jaywalking, and sharing this kind of stuff with you is my third.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i’m giving an important talk at “internet explorers” on saturday 10/92021-10-06T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/internet-explorers-october-9-2021/<p>first off, i learned how to type “smart quotes” at work yesterday. i gotta be honest, it’s an awful lot of work!</p>
<p>secondly, i let andy pick my next nail color and he requested "emerald green" and added "metallic." the only one i could find at duane reade was <a href="https://www.ulta.com/p/miracle-gel-xlsImpprod10991395?sku=2277948">"combustealable"</a> (dumb name) by sally hansen. i'm super impressed by the miracle gel formula, zero chips after 3 days! i may buy more colors, but i'll also use a different brush because the one it comes with is awful.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/emerald-green-metallic-nails.png" alt="photo of my nails that are emerald metallic green, and the manicure looks fresh and new" /><br />
<em>"disco gumby"</em> is what i'm calling it from now on</p>
<p><em>thirdly of all</em>, <strong>i'm giving a talk this saturday at <a href="https://www.eventbrite.com/e/internet-explorers-one-night-only-big-tech-bonanza-tickets-177509193777">internet explorers: one night only big tech bonanza</a>!</strong> hosted by my dear pal and partner-in-tech-humor-crimes, <a href="https://twitter.com/markvigeant/status/1445409481010057217">mark vigeant</a>, i'll be joining a lineup of experts and comedians to use laughter as a defense mechanism against the horrors of big tech – by the way, wild week we're having, huh?</p>
<p>it should be a fun show, and it's my first speaking event in a very long time. i am contractually obligated by my own brain and ego <em>not</em> to tell you what i'm talking about, but if you're on the fence about coming, maybe this photo of mark and i demoing my game <a href="https://apologyhero.glitch.me/">"apology hero: the game"</a> at a past show will convince you...</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/internet-explorers-apology-heroes.jpg" alt="photo of mark and i on stage in front of my computer playing apologyhero and making very expressive sad faces" /></p>
<p>...or not!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
some foods that have been comforting me this past shitty month2021-09-28T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/foods-that-have-been-comforting-me/<p>this month sucked, which is why i have been hella logged-off for a lot of it. things seem to be headed in the right direction, though, so instead of dwelling on negative stuff i want to focus on the following foods which have been a great comfort to me this summer:</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>mushroom eggs</strong> is a dish where i slice a portobello mushroom and fry it in a pan with a tiny bit of oil. after a couple of minutes i pour a little bit of teriyaki sauce and let it simmer. on the other side of the pan i'll then add a handful of spinach, let it wilt, and then add some <a href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/334052306832">just egg</a>, fry and cover in <a href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/304156406758">cholula</a>. that's mushroom eggs.</li>
<li><strong>the good stuff</strong> is an entire box of <a href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/284405082118">upton's naturals cheesy bacon mac</a>. the noodles are already cooked, you just have to mix and reheat! it's my favorite boxed vegan mac and cheese.</li>
<li><strong>coke zero</strong> is the only offering from <a href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/265224132660">coca-cola</a> of which they seem to change every few years in order to humble me. they recently made the label like the classic coke red but with black text instead? the absolute madness over there at coca-cola hq!</li>
<li><strong>apples and peanut butter</strong>. i like gala, honeycrisp and macintosh apples. i core and slice them and eat them with a huge tablespoon of <a href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/403145416868">super chunky peanut butter</a>. perfect snack!</li>
<li><strong>almond milk iced lattes</strong>. is it emotionally manipulative to respond to critiques on how much caffeine i consume with a veiled threat that i would relapse if i didn't have <a href="https://www.ebay.com/itm/323266977565">coffee</a>? perhaps, but i never said i was perfect!</li>
</ol>
<p>i'm feeling better already. by the way, if you watch my stream you're probably wondering where i've been! i'm right here, but i'm not sure when i'll be streaming again. all i can say with confidence is that it will be before coca-cola changes coke zero again!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
yes, i am trying to get back into painting pixel art again2021-08-22T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/noobow-painting/<p>it's been, probably, years since i've <a href="https://jennmoney.biz/art">painted any pixel art</a>. yes, i've had artist's block for a long time! no, i don't want to talk about it! earlier this week i made a pixel art painting of this japanese candy mascot named noobow, while <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1121475769">andy was streaming a game</a> based on it.</p>
<iframe src="https://clips.twitch.tv/embed?clip=CloudyDoubtfulSaladKreygasm-IrDcy4PLBHE2tEpf&parent=livelaugh.blog" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true" height="300px" width="100%" scrolling="no"></iframe>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/noobow-cover.jpg" alt="game cover of the noobow game, and noobow has his tongue sticking out" />
<br /><em>"country boy, i love youuu, ahh"</em></p>
<p>here's the high-res version andy sent me of our slow, swole boy:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/noobow-chute-big.jpg" alt="pixel art of noobow, a blob, holding a parachute and looking like he's screaming" /></p>
<p>i always start by drawing a pencil grid. folks always ask why i don't use graph paper. i always ask folks why they don't let me simply live my life.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/noobow-grid.jpg" alt="photograph of my sketchpad showing a pencil grid of 40 by 30 squares" /></p>
<p>i used black and white watercolor pigments from <a href="https://www.caseformaking.com/shop/cfm-premade-sets/6?page=1&limit=60&sort_by=popularity_score&sort_order=desc">case for making</a>. they're an awesome shop in san francisco that i often visited back when i used to travel for work, and you can buy their stuff online.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/noobow-final.jpg" alt="photograph of the pixel painting of noobow next to my watercolors and tools" /></p>
<p>as this painting was created entirely because of andy sending me the noobow pixel art, i put it in a little dollar store frame and took it to his place, where it now sits on his record player.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/noobow-andy.jpg" alt="photograph of the framed painting on andy's record player, next to figurines of pokey and blockhead g from gumby's adventures" /></p>
<p>i'm not sure if my artist's block is surrendering or not, but i'm having andy find me some horny sprites and we'll see where things go from there.</p>
<p>have you ever jumped from one landing to another using a bedsheet as a parachute in order to help santa claus and his <em>angels</em> find 8 gifts that were mysteriously hidden throughout a warehouse, simply so you can convince santa to help you find your way after you somehow woke up on a deserted island? sound off in the comments!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
domesticating feral tomatoes2021-08-20T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/domesticating-feral-tomatoes/<p>i don't think i've ever officially "gardened." i was simply never told that it was a thing i could even ever do. several years ago i lived in an apartment building with a grassy front lawn in montclair, new jersey, and during a visit from my uncle vinny, he said "what's with the grass, you should pave it." it's absurd to most, but there was virtually no grass within sight from our bay ridge apartment when i lived with him as a baby. what i'm getting at is, basically, a balcony counts as "nature" to me.</p>
<p>several weeks ago a neighbor had a bunch of tomato plant babies on her stoop, along with a sign saying "free." i never really garden or grow things so i figured it would be cool and low-risk to try. i took one of the several planters fashioned out of a plastic fage yogurt container and have watered it regularly on my fire escape (<em>allegedly</em>). today i harvested my first tomatoes from it!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-kitchen.jpg" alt="photograph of a tall tomato plant on a kitchen table, with cool art on the wall and my reflection where i'm looking like i'm sobbing" /></p>
<p>i approached this plant like i were a cave person by not looking up anything on the internet about how to actually maintain the plant and keeping it in the same fage container the whole time.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-close.jpg" alt="photograph of my tomatoes close up" /></p>
<p>i'm not sure if they are supposed to be this small! pumagreg was unimpressed.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-pumagreg.jpg" alt="photograph of me holding my tomatoes near a black cat on the floor" /></p>
<p>i figured that the only substantial thing i could make that i could use my 3 little tomato babies on was a small flatbread. but because i'd still be hungry and also i had store-bought tomatoes (<em>embarrassing</em>), i decided to make a big flatbread and have 1/3 of it be my tomatoes.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-ingredients.jpg" alt="photograph of my counter with ingredients for flatbread: naan, tomatoes, basil, ricotta. they're on a cutting board" /></p>
<p>add some sauce to nann (mine was store-bought), lay down the tomatoes, basil and vegan ricotta, and sprinkle on red pepper flakes generously.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-pre.jpg" alt="photograph of a tomato flatbread before it's baked" /></p>
<p>bake it for 10 minutes on 400 degrees fahrenheit, then turn off the oven and leave it in there for 5 more minutes. i'm excited to report that the cutest third of the flatbread was the one with my little tomato babies!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-flatbread.jpg" alt="photograph of a slice of tomato flatbread" /></p>
<p>i'm filing this post under "quick meals" because it really was super quick, but how good it looks makes that surprising. and, yes, i should have added the basil <em>after</em> i baked it; i don't know why i did that.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/tomato-flatbread-pumagreg.jpg" alt="photograph of a plate with two slices of tomato flatbread and a black cat on the table looking at it" /></p>
<p>i have about 6 more tomato babies growing, and i'm going to start actually looking up how to properly grow tomatoes. andy gave me a variety of flower and vegetable seeds awhile ago and i think i have the confidence i need, in my ability to grow, to start learning how to plant those.</p>
<p>do you like and/or grow tomato(es)? sound off in the comments!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
reverend jenn2021-08-04T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/reverend-jenn/<p>"getting married" is not something i want to do ever, but that's not to say i am against marriage. all the weddings <em>i've</em> been to were fun as hell! also, i became a reverend a couple of years ago so i could officiate the unions of my besties, phil and celeste. i bring this up seemingly out of nowhere because phil sent me this photo, seemingly out of nowhere, today:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/me-wedding-binder.jpeg" alt="wedding photo of me as i walk up the aisle to officiate and i'm holding a binder and looking pretty serious in like a mona lisa kind of way" /></p>
<p><em>"dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to go through my binder of pokemon cards."</em></p>
<p>this was my first time being a part of a wedding and it was super special, fun, and one of the most relaxing unpaid gigs i've done. phil was an empathetic employer, who was open to questions and making sure i was in the best position to do my best work.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/will2k-request1.jpg" alt="screenshot of an imessage conversation where i asked phil "can the dj at the reception play will2k" and he replies "dont' see why not"" /></p>
<p><em>the dj at the reception <strong>did</strong> play will2k</em></p>
<p>they say variety is the spice of life, and this wedding was definitely spicy. the day before the wedding, one of the top twitter explore page topics was "mark ronson says sorry, but he actually doesn't identify as sapiosexual."</p>
<p>the day <em>of</em> the wedding, i went hyperlocal-viral on nextdoor doing the ol' "post a photo of dumped ice and ask if someone lost their pile of ice" gag. it always kills!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/icecubes-nextdoor.jpg" alt="screenshot of nextdoor with the subject "Re: someone left their pile of ice in (redacted)" and a comment "i now know that my decision to leave this site is a good one. ice cubes....."" /></p>
<p><em>no, don't leave this site, ur so sexy</em></p>
<p>the day <em>after</em> the wedding, my <a href="https://twitter.com/batslyadams">content boyfriend</a> and i documented my mailing of the marriage certificate.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/mailing-phils-cert.gif" alt="animated gif of my walking to a postal box and putting an envelope inside" /></p>
<p>it's funny how i didn't know what to write about today, until phil's text appeared out of the blue with a freshly-unlocked memory. i love when friends send me old photos just because, it's a nice mental break from the current chaos.</p>
<p>have <em>you</em> forgiven marc ronson for actually not identifying as sapiosexual? sound off in the comments!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
bug vs. shark2021-08-02T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/bug-vs-shark/<p>last night <a href="https://coolmail.substack.com/p/extreme-staind-voice-its-been-awhile">i sent a newsletter</a> after about 5 months of elecronic mail silence, hehehe whoops. a couple of folks wrote back asking for me to send pumagreg updates. for those who do not know, pumagreg is a black cat i adopted about 6 and a half years ago, and he was probably about one year old at the time. he's the softest and cuddliest bug in the united states with the sweetest little voice. he's equally intelligent and dumb, much like myself.</p>
<p>here's a photo of him this afternoon wrestling a plush shark.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/pumagreg-shark.jpg" alt="pumagreg, a black cat, laying on the couch next to a plush shark toy about his size and it looks like they are dancing" /></p>
<p>and here he is losing a wrestling match to a plush shark.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/pumagreg-shark2.jpg" alt="similar photo to the one above, except it looks like pumagreg is punching the shark" /></p>
<p>the plush shark was given to me by <a href="https://melody.dev/">melody</a>, who is a really kind and talented developer, designer and community organizer. you should follow them on twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/pixelyunicorn">@pixelyunicorn</a>. the cool thing about having pumagreg around is that no matter how far up my own ass i get, he's always there to remind me that it's <em>his</em> world (and plush shark) and he's v kindly allowing <em>me</em> to live in it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/pumagreg-shark3.jpg" alt="pumagreg, cropped and zoomed in to his face looking mildly worried" /></p>
<p><em>"look into these eyes, then you'll see the size of these flames" - william frederick durst</em></p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
hello, august 〰️ ➰ ➿2021-08-01T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/august-lines/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/lines-shirt-nails-shoes.jpg" alt="photo of my hand showing a white with black swirl manicure, i'm wearing a white shirt with a black grid all over, and i'm wearing white shoes with thin black stripes on them" /></p>
<p>it's a new month. it will be a true blessing if it's even only 99% as aggravating as july was for me. for a better chance of that, i went into it with a fresh haircut and looking like a living, breathing doodle. the gel set was done at <a href="https://chillhouse.com/">chillhouse</a> 10 days ago, the sneakers are adidas, and the shirt was thrifted (tag says "bb dakota").</p>
<p>i just scarfed down an entire scallion pancake and feel like i'm about to spew both out <em>and</em> up. do you have any fun plans and goals for august, too? sound off in the comments and be sure to click the bell on some random youtuber's page.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
my truth2021-07-31T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/my-truth-one-year-of-cursed-cake/<p>this was a notification i got yesterday:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/cursed-cake-notif.png" alt="screenshot of a notification saying that yesterday was the anniversary of "cursed cake"" /></p>
<p>but i had already blogged yesterday and, as you know, the olympic committee made it illegal to blog twice in one day. so i'm writing this <em>today</em>: happy first birthday to this happening:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/cursed-cake.jpg" alt="a photo of a cake, the top half on a cooling rack and the bottom half stuck in the pan still. a major baking failure." /></p>
<p>until now, only one other soul had known about this. now, <em>you</em> all do. finally, <em>i</em> am free.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
a review of the remarkable 2, or 'i love my cutting edge digital paper technology!'2021-07-30T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/remarkable-cutting-edge-digital-paper-technology/<p>my adhd is making things very difficult this month, and it honestly took me five (5) times to search my email client for a receipt because i couldn't remember what month i bought my <strong>remarkable 2</strong>. i bought it in february.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/remarkable2.jpg" alt="photo of my desk showing me holding the remarkable 2 tablet, which is a thin gray e-ink tablet the size of about a piece of paper. my nails look cool and i have a gumby and blockhead figurine in the background." />
<em>another device photo showing low battery for the internet to scold me about, thrilling!</em></p>
<p>my <a href="https://remarkable.com/store/remarkable-2">remarkable 2</a> is "cutting-edge digital paper technology". basically, an e-ink notebook. an <em>expensive</em> e-ink notebook, i'm now being reminded as i look at this receipt. <em>it was a birthday gift, jennifer jean. you deserved it.</em></p>
<p>let me tell you, friends, <strong>the remarkable 2 is worth every penny i spent on it</strong> ($530.98 usd for the device, the <a href="https://remarkable.com/store/remarkable-2/markers">marker plus</a> and tax <em>to be precise</em>). i gave it a few months before i exclaimed that, yes, but it was truly love at first sight (some of you saw that when i unboxed it one of my first <a href="https://twitch.tv/jennschiffer">streams</a> ever hehe).</p>
<p>you can read e-books on it, but i have that condition where i stopped being able to read books once the pandemic hit. what is most important to me is that it's an extremely portable and incredibly customizeable library of notebooks.</p>
<p>here is a list i've been keeping in this doc over the past months as i've been procrastinating on writing this review:</p>
<ul>
<li>feels nice</li>
<li>feels and sounds like paper</li>
<li>v little if any noticeable latency</li>
<li>haven't lost the pencil...yet</li>
<li>templates on etsy</li>
<li>consistent software updates</li>
<li>not broken yet</li>
</ul>
<p>the one thing i want to call out on that list is "templates on etsy" so bear with me here:</p>
<p>my most powerful weapon when battling my adhd is taking notes for everything, every day. it's quite literally the reason i bought this thing. normally i'd buy a nice notebook with a cool planner layout, then a month later decide the layout isn't working for me, so i put that notebook away and i buy a new one. it's expensive, frustrating and absolutely demoralizing. having a digital notebook as versatile as the remarkable 2 makes things so much easier and empowering for me with this big dumb hot and smart brain.</p>
<p>and this brings me to those "templates on etsy". there is a whole marketplace there for templates compatible with the remarkable 2 and other devices. my absolute favorite is <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/ePaperTemplates?ref=livelaugh.blog">ePaperTemplates</a>. i got the starter pack and some planners. the creator even reached out and let me test out a beta version of a particular template, like i'm basically the dutchess of "cutting-edge digital paper technology."</p>
<p>so you're probably wondering what is on my feature wishlist for this and, predictably, it's an api. yes, they already have apps for all the platforms so you can read your notes in case you leave the notebook behind, but i'm a CSS Pervert™ and want to build my own! oh i also want them to open a marketplace for selling stickers for the back of the device, and where they can commission artists to create them and of course they choose me first so the only stickers available to all remarkable 2 owners are nude pixel art butts.</p>
<p>do you have a favorite digital notetaking workflow? do you have to write literally every thought that comes to your head because it would be unhealthy to otherwise <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1420898975461355526">tweet it</a> all as they form? sound off in the comments!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>ps. if you are interested in purchasing a remarkable 2 because of my raving about it, <a href="https://remarkable.com/referral/KYRC-B35W">here's a referral link</a> that will help me gain e-ink influencer status <3</p>
my candles needed thicker wicks2021-07-05T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/my-candles-needed-thicker-wicks/<p>happy july! how incredible is it that june simply did not exist? wasn't expecting <em>that</em>! anyway...remember in may (a month that <em>did</em> happen) when <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/we-began-a-candle-making-adventure/">i made candles and they burned a tunnel instead of all the way through</a>? my hypothesis was that i needed thicker wicks. before i get into that adventure, i first want to tell you <em>a tale of the ultimate betrayal of friendship</em>.</p>
<h4>a tale of the ultimate betrayal of friendship</h4>
<p>one night when i was streaming with <a href="https://twitter.com/@potch">potch</a>, he told me to try putting a paper cone over my tunneling candles in order to get more of the wax to melt. so i did just that.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/thick-wick-cone.jpg" alt="my candle with a cone hat made of paper and hot pink tape, the desk around it covered in paper shrapnel from my cutting it all up" /></p>
<p>of course, i got carried away and decided to cover the whole cone with hot pink tape. it was a lot of effort that, unsurprisingly, i was not given in return.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/thick-wick-cone2.jpg" alt="a close up of the candle, still with tunneling" /></p>
<p>i will give potch and his betrayal cone some credit, the wax around the tunnel did melt a bit. i imagine this is more a tool for prevention of tunnel than for treatment.</p>
<p>anyway, here is andy giving pumagreg a massage:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/andy-massage-puma.jpg" alt="a photo of andy massaging pumagreg, a black cat, on the kitchen table" /></p>
<p>for my second batch of candles, i purchased a couple of bigger sizes of wicks from <a href="https://www.brambleberry.com/shop-by-craft/candles/wicks">bramble berry</a>. i was feeling pretty confident that these wicks were big enough and high quality, and so this batch would melt all the way out.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/thick-wicks.jpg" alt="three differently sized wicks" /></p>
<p>the left-most wick is clearly the thinnest and the one i used for the previous, tunneling batch. i'll use this for tea light candles if i make those in the future. oooh, maybe i'll dip them to make birthday candles! i just got that idea as i was typing this, wow, the power of blogging.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-batch2.jpg" alt="two candles, one green and the other blue, on the table" /></p>
<p>andy and i started saving our condiments jars for me to make candles out of. they're usually the perfect size, come with lids, and it's simply funny to light up a b&g jalapeno jar only to fill the room with the scent of tobacco and bay leaf. we are living, we are laughing, and – my friends – we are loving.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/candle-batch2-no-tunnels.jpg" alt="the blue candle with melted wax spanning the entire jar, no tunnel" /></p>
<p>i used that middle-sized wick in both candles and am happy to report that there was no tunneling between either of them. i still encountered some cratering as the wax cured. next time, i'll heat the jars so that the wax doesn't cool too fast. i love how the blue wax matches the cobalt glass jar, which was from another candle i had burned through. the color of that blue candle is my favorite color, by the way! many folks think purple is my favorite color but that is offensive to folks whose favorite color actually is purple.</p>
<p>i hope you enjoyed this episode of "jenn makes candles!" since it's not going to be 95 degrees fahrenheit every single day this week, i'm going to finally be able to make a couple more soon. stay cool and hydrated, wear spf, and don't leave lit candles unattended!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i bought a heatless curling rod on etsy, and then i used it!2021-05-29T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/heatless-curling-rod/<p>my hair is fantastic. i appreciate it and love it every day, except the day before my period when i hate <em>everything</em> about myself! i use some hair products here and there, but i attribute its beauty purely to genetics <em>and</em> avoiding heat; i often fall asleep with slightly damp hair.</p>
<p>here's how it normally looks:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/curling-natural.jpg" alt="a photo of me with my hair naturally wavy, a bit chaotic looking but presentable" /></p>
<p>while fantastic, it certainly has changed over the past year and a half: it's gotten long, and it's gotten grayer. the pretty dramatic change started occurring during an anticipated but still pretty traumatic <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Prolactinoma/comments/nmh974/dopamine_agonist_withdrawal_daws_from_cabergoline/">withdrawal from cabergoline</a> in 2019. that withdrawal was also the trigger of the start of my sobriety but <em>ANYWAY...</em></p>
<p>i've been starting to experiment with different hair styles and tools to see what will work with my new (old?) hair. it's still thick and holds a curl if i need it to, but the ends often have a life of their own which i do not think they deserve. i find myself once a week needing to bring out the flat iron to tame some strands and There's Got To Be A Better (heatless) Way™.</p>
<p>a couple of weeks ago, i was playing my favorite sport, "being high and on etsy on pay day" and "won" <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/975678226/satin-heatless-curling-rod-set-no-heat">a satin heatless curling rod set</a>. i wanted to see if it would bring some order to my ends without the heat and – <em>spoiler alert</em> – it did. let me show you this thing:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/curling-satin.jpg" alt="photo of a foot-long satin fabric rod and two satin scrunchies, they're all black and i'm holding them up in my hand" /></p>
<p>these curling rods have grown in popularity on social media, so lots of folks are selling them. but i can tell you <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/975678226/satin-heatless-curling-rod-set-no-heat">the ones i got were high quality</a>, although i have only used them once - but sometimes you can just tell! how it works is that you take damp hair and wrap it away from your face over the rod, as if you were making a french braid. then you keep it in place with scrunchies, sleep with it on, and wake up in the morning with effortless, beautiful, curls.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/curling-before.jpg" alt="a three-photo panel i describe in the following paragraph, all before/during shots of me using the curling rod" /></p>
<p>in the photo above you'll see me with dry hair in need of a shampooing, and then what i look like with wet hair. if i remember to, i'll often put on some kind of wave-defining cream and then let the fresh, clean air by the holland tunnel do its magic. and on the right is me with the curling rod "installed" and looking sassy because the edible was <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1398390344077692936">just about to hit</a>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/curling-after.jpg" alt="a three-photo panel i describe in the following paragraph, all after shots of me removing the curling rod" /></p>
<p>i was expecting to not be able to sleep with this thing on my head, as i'm a side-sleeper, but it gave me absolutely no problem at all! above, you'll see me first thing in the morning, then with it removed but the two long curls are untouched. finally, i fluffed my hair out and it came out much nicer than i expected it to. this was great, because i was about to head out to meet up with some girlfriends.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/curling-fit.jpg" alt="photo of me standing in my kitchen and posing with a white and black bag, wearing a tan blazer and black leggings and boots" />
<em>outfit check: tea towel on the floor by <a href="https://www.areaware.com/products/bitmap-textiles-tea-towels?variant=49037645060">areaware x susan kare</a></em></p>
<p>a few days ago it was 90 degrees fahrenheit and sunny outside, but today it was rainy and under 50 degrees. how am i supposed to keep up with that? had i known it was going to be shit weather, i would have saved my heatless curling experiment for another day. fortunately, the hair held up super well. here i am after about 7 hours of being out, and i only touched the ends up with some argan oil once:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/curling-later.jpg" alt="a selfie of me with my curled hair and it's looking very put-together" /></p>
<p>if this kind of look is your style, i highly recommend this heatless curling rod. i'm going to experiment with tighter and looser curls to find what works best for me. the look is definitely a bit conventional for my taste, but i can definitely see myself using this the night before an event where i could stand to have a less chaotic look.</p>
<p>it will be interesting to see how the curls hold up through the night! follow <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1398803911092342786">this thread on twitter for updates</a> as i document the passage of time's effect on the curls throughout the long weekend.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
lemon cake, hold the shingles!2021-05-17T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/lemon-cake-hold-the-shingles/<p>when i was little, my best friend got something called "chicken pox" and i was extremely jealous of the days off school, attention, and lemon cupcakes he got. the cupcakes, probably from a box mix, were baked for him by my dad and were the most delicious baked good i had ever had.</p>
<p>as my dad had anticipated, i got the chicken pox a couple of weeks later and, with that, my <em>own</em> fresh batch of lemon cupcakes! i realized very shortly that, yes, the cupcakes were good, but they were not THAT good. the chicken pox totally sucked. they also sucked when i got them a second time later that year. oh, and when the virus came back in the form of shingles when i was 26 years old? long story, short: this week is the 10th anniversary of when my symptoms had started and i still suffer from the nerve damage.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/shingles-vax-ad.jpg" alt="shingles vaccine ad" /><br /><em>puts on my "<a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1393302588930596868">geriatric millennial</a>" trucker hat to try to pass as 50+ at the duane reade pharmacy</em></p>
<p>i was telling andy a couple of weekends ago about these cupcakes as we were talking about our recent covid vaccinations. i had my second shot coming up and i was so anxious, both from the weight of being excited to be vaccinated <em>and</em> being terrified that it would trigger shingles. i'm a computer scientist, not a chicken pox scientist, but from what i've gathered the virus is simply hanging out in my spinal fluid waiting to strike again or not.</p>
<p>i've since had my second shot and am, after a rough few days, feeling footloose and shingles-free. i don't have the ability or interest to articulate things that i have not fully processed, so i won't talk much about how the pandemic affected me, but i will say that it forced andy and i to not see each other for months. we actually navigated this extremely well and the experience has me (and probably andy too 🔫 <em>right babe???</em>) seeing our time together in a different, beautiful light. and that beautiful light is the reflections from our televisions playing youtube.</p>
<p>one of our favorite youtubers is nisha of <a href="https://rainbowplantlife.com/about/">rainbow plant life</a>, a vegan lawyer-turned-blogger. i once told andy that i trust her with my life, and he agreed that i trust her with my life. and later in the exact day i was telling him about those chicken pox lemon cupcakes, a video came up in my recommendations of <a href="https://rainbowplantlife.com/lemon-olive-oil-cake/">her mentioning this lemon olive oil cake</a>. and with outstanding timing, she posted a "youtube short" <em>just today</em> of her making it. spooky (in a good way)!</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LjrmpQtQG28" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>so of course we made the cake the next day. it came out really good, which is <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/emotionally-stable-woman-crushes-baskin-robbins-turkey-cake-challenge/">surprising, given my history of making cakes</a>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/lemon-cake-puma.jpg" alt="my black cat, pumagreg, laying on the table next to a small loaf cake on a cooling rack" />
look at this beautiful loaf, and the cake cooling next to it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/lemon-cake-plated.jpg" alt="the full cake on a plate with strawberry compote topping" />
i forget why, but in my late twenties i went through a phase where i avoided cooked fruit. young, dumb jenn is quaking right now.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/lemon-cake-slice.jpg" alt="a slice of the cake" />
nisha wasn’t kidding when she said it was super easy to make this cake <em>and</em> that it was delicious. i'm definitely going to make this again and again – only next time i’ll make more of the strawberry compote topping and <em>not</em> forget to save some of the lemon zest for the end. i also could have baked this one a few minutes longer, but i was afraid of it drying out. the recipe being vegan afforded me some room for undercookedness since there's no raw egg danger.</p>
<p>check out more vegan recipes at <a href="https://rainbowplantlife.com/">rainbow plant life</a> and on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDbZvuDA_tZ6XP5wKKFuemQ">her youtube channel</a> - andy and i have already made and loved <a href="https://rainbowplantlife.com/healthy-vegan-lentil-shepherds-pie/">the lentil shepherd's pie</a> and <a href="https://rainbowplantlife.com/vegan-buffalo-chickpea-quesadillas/">these quesadillas</a> with a vegan queso that deserves its own post, honestly!</p>
<p>i know this is an absolutely foul thought and a terrible way to end a perfect, brilliant blog post, but the compote topping makes it look like the cake has shingles, right? sorry!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
we began a candle-making adventure, i messed up!2021-05-12T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/we-began-a-candle-making-adventure/<p>i <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/here-is-the-latest-on-candles/">love candles</a>, you <em>know</em> this! and a couple of months ago <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/a-good-video-on-how-to-make-soy-candles/">andy got me a candle making kit</a> so i can make my own with the collection of jars from candles i had burned through already. after rearranging my apartment, buying way too much fir tree essential oil and not enough soy wax, i'm excited to report that we finally made some candles, and that i did an absolute shit job! let me show you some of the process:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/01-candle-supplies.jpg" alt="my table covered in kitchen supplies" /></p>
<p>this is my kitchen table with all the things, most catching to the eye are those little baggies full of wax dye flakes. the colors are way more pigmented in that flaky form than when they are added to the cream-colored wax, so i definitely now appreciate homemade candles with more brilliant, bold colors! andy chose "horse piss yellow" for his candle and i chose "yes i made up these color names blue" for mine.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/02-candle-station.jpg" alt="my stove with a double boil setup and my counter has a scale on it" /></p>
<p>if you don't have a digital scale in your kitchen, why? candle making, like baking, is scientific and measurement accuracy is very important. not having the right amount of fragrance and dye can leave your candle not scented enough or too oily for the wax to cure. you also need a thermometer and a double boiler setup - my candle kit came with a metal container with a handle that i was able to hold in a pan of boiling water "safely" and "easily." fun, free fact: i found that pan, now officially my "candle-making pan," in a haunted basement in 2008.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/03-candle-maker.jpg" alt="me holding up a big bag of wax" /></p>
<p>here i am, a huge weirdo holding a bag of wax. not surprisingly, melting wax is like cooking spinach in that you start with a lot and the output is very little. this bag will probably make me 4 8 oz candles.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/04-candle-pour.jpg" alt="two candles, one is full of melted wax and the other i'm pouring wax into" /></p>
<p>shouts out to andy for taking great mid-pour photos. speaking of andy, what's the blog version of "instagram boyfriend" - is it just "blog boyfriend?" as the wax is melting in the double boiler, there's a point where you want to melt the dye flakes in and add the fragrance oil. what the amounts are depend on the wax being used, the oils being used, and probably also how well all the cryptocurrencies are doing that hour. our candles looked and smelled great in the jars, we just had to see how they cured.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/05-candle-cooled.jpg" alt="a diptych of two candles hardened with cracks and air pockets in the wax" /></p>
<p>it certainly didn't turn out <em>great</em> but i didn't do a <em>terrible</em> job! i think what happened is that i poured the wax too quickly into the jars and that the wax should have been hotter when i poured. the yellow candle, which i made for andy, was scented with a fragrance oil called <a href="https://www.brambleberry.com/shop-by-product/ingredients/fragrance-oils/shave-and-a-haircut-fragrance-oil/V000252.html">shave and a haircut</a> which i'm still not sure was even made for candles, but it works!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/06-candle-heatgun.jpg" alt="the two candles with a layer of hot wax and below them is my heat gun" /></p>
<p>my blue candle, the problem child, was made with a mix of two different essential oils (fir + sandalwood) because i honestly don't know how to fucking chill! the morning after, we watched some videos on how to fix soy wax candle mishaps and it turns out that heat guns are another handy tool for this craft. i melted the top of the candles to fill up the craters and that worked pretty well!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/07-candle-cat.jpg" alt="my black cat pumagreg on his cat seat stretched out and yawning and the two candles are next to him" /></p>
<p>i put cute felt smiley face stickers on the jars because <em>i'm an artist</em> and then encroached upon pumagreg's personal space like he does to mine on a regular basis. what's the blog version of "instagram cat?" the final step to making candles, and the best part about them, is lighting them on fire <em>on purpose</em>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/08-candle-fail.jpg" alt="a diptych of the two candles, hardened after they were lit, and there was massive tunneling in the wax" /></p>
<p>now, if you thought i fucked up with the quick pour and were wondering how finnicky this process could actually be, wait until your candle "tunnels" instead of melting the full width of the jar because <em>your wicks are too small.</em> maybe. i'll need to try this process again with bigger wicks to see.</p>
<p>tunneling, craters, or not, it was really fun to make these - and they still light up and smell really good! i currently have a shipment from <a href="https://www.brambleberry.com/">bramble berry</a> on the way with more wax, some new fragrance oils, and <em>bigger wicks.</em> i can't wait to try this again and hopefully not find some new and exciting way to totally blow it!</p>
<p><em>do you have any tips for making candles? if so, sound off in the comments. jk, i don't have comments on this blog ha ha!</em></p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
an early birthday gift to my blog2021-05-06T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/an-early-birthday-gift-to-my-blog/<p><em>content warning: nude pixel art</em></p>
<p>you better believe it, this blog turns <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/hello-world/">1 year old</a> at the end of the month! and if you've been paying a little bit of attention, you'll notice it has been on hiatus for about a month. and if you've been paying a <em>LOT</em> of attention, you'll know that the reason for the hiatus is that i've been getting into <a href="https://twitch.tv/jennschiffer">streaming</a> and sharing my journey as i move livelaughblog from tumblr to its own app on <a href="https://glitch.com/">glitch</a>.</p>
<p>why would i rip everything up and start again, besides "new year, new blog?" while i do like tumblr for its community and short form content, i didn't feel like writing there worked very well for me this past year. i'll try to break this down in a few short reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li>i couldn't figure out a way to get reblogs to fit in with the flow of the blog so i held back from <em>ever</em> reblogging. this made me feel less part of the community unless i put the effort into managing two tumblrs sites. this would be fine, except...</li>
<li>their beta version of the post editor has no markdown setting and that is a dealbreaker for me! the html and wysiwyg editor have caused me much pain and frustration, and i've had enough of losing content or having to refactor tumblr's unintuitive image scaling and html generation.</li>
<li>most importantly, i want to write more about my art! and this would mean posting photos and illustrations of erotic pixel art that tumblr has (in my opinion) very opaquely and unfairly flagged in past tumblr sites i've managed. i hate that i held content back for a year because of their unpredictable moderation.</li>
</ol>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.com/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35%2Fselfie-diptych-2.png?v=1620345272650" alt="scan of a pixel art watercolor of breasts" />
<em>here's a low quality scan of my favorite painting of mine. it's currently hanging in my partner's living room.</em></p>
<p>don't get me wrong, i still enjoy tumblr, and i am excited to reblog <a href="https://jennschiffer.tumblr.com/">with reckless abandon on my rebooted microblog there</a>. moving the blog over to glitch was also a practice of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_your_own_dog_food">dogfooding</a> the new <a href="https://blog.glitch.com/post/remix-a-whole-new-glitch">generated static site</a> feature we launched last week (this is a remix of our <a href="https://glitch.com/edit/#!/glitch-hello-eleventy">new eleventy starter</a>!), as well as giving me a much more reliable, yet portable, markdown editor.</p>
<p>but the biggest reason is that i simply love redesigning and building my personal sites, and i'm no stranger to <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/this-blog-is-not-even-two-months-old-but-ive-already-given-it-a-new-look/">not holding back</a> from an unnecessary dramatic change here and there. this is why i couldn't possibly wait until may 31st to switch the domain over to here where you are now. there's still some more work to do, and if you're interested in following that journey more, you should check out my <a href="https://twitch.tv/jennschiffer">tuesday morning "standups" on twitch</a>.</p>
<p>thanks for joining (or continuing) this journey with me and, yes, there will be a livelaughconf 2. stay tuned :)</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
illustrations of procrastination: semi-homemade vegan chicken wrap2021-04-03T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/illustrations-of-procrastination-vegan-chicken-wrap/<p>a couple of weeks ago i embarked on an exciting new journey for <em>live laugh blog</em> (that’s the blog you’re reading right now): an extreme platform migration and custom built theme to celebrate its upcoming 1st birthday.</p>
<p>i love tumblr, but the post editor is honestly writer-hostile - which is fine because the best content on tumblr are images and that’s what it’s good at. i’m not leaving tumblr, i’m just moving my long-from content over to its own space. today i copied and pasted just under 50 posts and it was a nice journey through the past year of this "pandemic project"! i wish i wrote more, but also i’m glad i didn’t because that would have made today’s chore of copying and pasting markdown be longer than ever.</p>
<p>i have, now, a lot of coding and qa to do before the "year 2" launch at the end of the month. i really should go heads down again on that. but first, here's one of my go-to quick and hearty meals for when my brain tells me to eat instead of work: <strong>semi-homemade vegan chicken wraps</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/vegan-chicken-wraps.jpg" alt="a photo of an un-rolled vegan chicken wrap" /></p>
<p>they're "semi-homemade" because i don't have time to make fake chicken from scratch!!</p>
<ul>
<li>warm a tortilla up</li>
<li>pan fry 4 <a href="https://gardein.com/chickn-and-turky/classics/seven-grain-crispy-tenders">gardein crispy tenders</a> (or bake if you're a dutchess that has the time)</li>
<li>on the tortilla add the tenders, chopped or whole</li>
<li>add some veggie toppings; i usually go for spinach and tomato, but it depends on what i've got around</li>
</ul>
<p>i smear some veganaise and drench the wrap in <a href="https://www.cholula.com/pages/original">cholula</a> before wrapping it all up. this satisfying wrap clocks in at <strong>32 grams of protein</strong>, haters.</p>
<p>okay, now that that's all out of the way, it's back to coding!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
a lady of the evening's nails2021-03-21T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/a-lady-of-the-evenings-nails/<p>when i was a teenager, my father once joked that my freshly painted red nails made me look like a “lady of the evening” which i only realized later on meant “whore.” i imagine that any color would have offended his sensibilities, but that’s his journey!</p>
<p>anyway, after a few months of not loving myself enough to find the time, i painted my nails, and i painted them red.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/646309039260811264_0.jpg" alt="a photo of a hand holding a card that says "wolf" and the nails are red" /></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/646309039260811264_1.jpg" alt="a photo of a hand holding a card with a wolf on it and the nails are red" /></p>
<p>i purchased that wolf card from a stationery/ephemera shop in montclair called <a href="https://www.shopparcel.com/">parcel</a>, many years ago when i lived a 10 minute walk uphill from there. i am so glad they’re still around, it is an absolutely beautiful store that, remembering them now, almost makes me miss living there.</p>
<p>i’m not sure what compelled me to buy that wolf card, but for the past several years it’s lived on top of this painting by my dear friend <a href="https://jimdoran.net/">jim doran</a> that i chose to hang upside down.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/646309039260811264_2.jpg" alt="a painting where the top half is a skeleton and santan embracing each other and mirrored below them are a couple embracing each other. resting on top of the painting is the wolf card from the previous two photos" /></p>
<p>i’m the skeleton.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
a good video on how to make soy candles2021-03-19T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/a-good-video-on-how-to-make-soy-candles/<p>andy got me a candle making kit and we spent the weekend watching a bunch of videos and this one is my favorite:</p>
<iframe id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/cn528L_WPrw?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" width="540" height="303" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<p>london’s videos are so comprehensive and filled with good tips, i spent a good chunk of <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/645954354031017984/live-laugh-blah-a-tuesday-morning-stream">live laugh yawn</a> earlier this week on the bramble berry website and buying wax and fragrances i think we’ll enjoy. i can’t wait for it all to arrive so i can reuse all these used up candle jars and share with y’all!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
live laugh yawn, a tuesday morning stream2021-03-17T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/live-laugh-yawn-a-tuesday-morning-stream/<p>hello livers, laughers, bloggers. hello gamers. hello streamers. hello candle makers. hello dolly.</p>
<p>a few weeks ago i started streaming <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/jennschiffer">tuesday mornings at 8:30am et on twitch</a> before it’s time for me to do Real Work™. it’s a variety stream, mostly me chatting and online window shopping. unsurprisingly, lots of candles.</p>
<iframe src="https://clips.twitch.tv/embed?clip=ManlyKnottyTomatoBigBrother-3yIrJk-xxNc2wHld&parent=livelaugh.blog" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" scrolling="no" height="378" width="620"></iframe>
<p>i also have been streaming on thursday evenings <a href="https://twitch.tv/potch">with my pal potch</a> at 8pm et (he lives in california, so he can't get up early for morning streams with me lol. we've been playing this awful horse girl simulator game called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horsez">horsez</a>.</p>
<p>as is the true blogging experience, i wrote up this nice post about candle making and then my curiousity got the best of me and i toggled the "beta" tumblr editor and lost it all. that may be my cue to move the main blog off of here and keep this tumblr as my "jennterest board" - do we like that, "jennterest"???</p>
<p>hope you can join me on tuesday morning next week. i am going to start designing and coding a new template for this blog and, whenever my 2 lbs of soy wax arrives, making candles.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
demand justice2021-02-25T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/demand-justice/<p>it's been a couple of years now that i've been <a href="https://www.wpaonline.org/our-team/emerging-philanthropists/">an ep at women's prison association</a> so it only makes sense that our stars would align in just the right formation to bring a partnership with a candle company!
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/644137977798361088_0.jpg" alt="image" /></p>
<p>for every candle sold, $8 will be given to wpa in order to work on our mission to help and empower women touched by the injustices of the so-called criminal "justice" system. it's <a href="https://www.lessthanladylikecandleco.com/products/demand-justice">available until march 8th, so grab them while you can!</a> the notes are black currant, jasmine, tonka, black tea, and amber, which sounds really smooth and comforting - i can't wait for mine to arrive!</p>
<p>if you want to dig deeper into prison abolition, mariam kabe's new book <a href="https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781642595253">we do this 'til we free us</a> is out. i preordered it and it hasn't arrived yet, but it's no surprise that all the reviews from folks i'm seeing are great.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
pumagroggy2021-02-24T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/pumagroggy/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/644929919914246144_0.jpg" alt="a soft focus photo of a black cat laying cozy in a big cream comforter, looking groggy" /></p>
<p>day one of my period and i think pumagreg is feeling it too. hope you’re having a cozy saturday, without cramps.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
happy 362021-02-24T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/happy-36/<p>you don't become a year older just on your birthday, it's something that happens continuously throughout the year – unless you're me, who literally stays the same age all year round but then ages a year on my birthday. this phenomenon happened again a couple of weeks ago. i forgot to post on here about it, but i <a href="https://coolmail.substack.com/p/cool-birthday-jenn">write a newsletter</a> to reflect on my birthday when i was half my own age.</p>
<p>back then i loved taking photos with my nikon coolpix 2000 and was just "getting started with computers." here's a photo i took <em><strong>of a photo</strong></em> of a sunset in 2002:
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/644059727444230144_0.jpg" alt="a blurry photo of a sunset" /></p>
<p>i want to get back into taking fun candid photos and writing more, which are both v hard to do when there's a pandemic. i'm going to have to create my own adventures at home like i did with and for this blog! i'm starting a new routine this month that i think will help me become creatively unblocked, and i'm excited because it seems to already be working - <a href="https://www.twitch.tv/jennschiffer/">i already streamed</a> twice this week on my own, which is a milestone since we ended hoobastank2 earlier this month.</p>
<p>anyway, you asked! also, here's the last mirror selfie at 35:
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/644059727444230144_1.jpg" alt="a selfie of me in front of a long mirror in my bedroom. i am wearing gray leggings and a leather jacket and wool hat, since i" /></p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
there exist more palatable fusions of “italian for kids” and baked goods than just that spaghettio pie2021-01-27T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/spaghettio-pie-kids-italian-pastry-fusion-ideas/<p>you may have recently seen <a href="https://digg.com/video/this-spaghettio-pie-dinner-hack-will-forever-haunt-your-dreams">a video of a woman making a "spaghettio pie"</a>. i won't try it, i honestly don't think it will work. i also, not to get too high off of my own supply, <em>own an actual rolling pin.</em></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/641525511201456128_0.jpg" alt="woman pressing bread with her forearms" /></p>
<p>i do get what she's trying to do; she wants to take a food her kids love (spaghettio's) and make it a bit more grown up yet still fun in order to refine her kids' palates and/or create instagram-viral mommy lifestyle content. who among us is not? but i think she's going about it all wrong, and not just where where she added milk to make it "juicy".</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/641525511201456128_1.jpg" alt="woman pouring milk inot a pie filled with spaghetti-o" /></p>
<p>see, there's no way you can just put spaghetti-o's in a crust with cheese and skim milk and expect it to come out with the textural fortitude of hearty pie! so, for <a href="https://twitch.tv/hoobastank2">hoobastank2</a> this week, i proposed <strong>some more sound and reasonable ideas for kids-italian/baked-good fusion cuisine.</strong></p>
<p><strong>pain au marinara</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/641525511201456128_2.jpg" alt="a pain au chocolat but the chocolate is red" /></p>
<p>instead of rolling your pain au chocolat with a chocolate bar, roll in a a frozen stick of marinara sauce - preferably of the chef boyardee kind.</p>
<p><strong>lasagna toaster tart</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/641525511201456128_3.jpg" alt="a lasagna noodle with a poptart icing photoshopped on top of it" /></p>
<p>instead of icing a toaster pastry, ice a <em>damp</em> cooked lasagna noodle</p>
<p><strong>thumbprint cookies</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/641525511201456128_4.jpg" alt="photo of thumbprint cookies with pizza rolls photoshopped in place of the pizza rolls" /></p>
<p>it's just a classic thumbprint cookie but with a totino’s pizza roll instead of a hershey’s kiss.</p>
<p>😋</p>
<p>there's a lot to be said about the pressure put on moms to keep meals exciting and simple and quick, so i absolutely don't blame spaghettio pie mom for trying. these are just some additional recipes that she can (and you can, but definitely i shan't) try that may turn out a little less...juicy.</p>
<p>if you like or dislike these ideas, make sure you <a href="https://twitch.tv/hoobastank2">join us wednesday nights at 8pm est on twitch for hoobastank2</a>. and as julia child, twice, said: <em>bone apple teeth</em>!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
repurpose your alcohol vessels as flower vessels instead2021-01-26T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/repurpose-your-alcohol-vessels-as-flower-vessels-instead/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/641396258935881728_0.jpg" alt="photo of a parrot tiki mug being used as a vase. in the background is my computer showing illustrations of characters from sonic the hedgehog kissing" /></p>
<p>i am almost 2 months away from 2 months of alcohol sobriety — so in this household, tiki mugs are for holding flowers. lavender freesia, to be exact.</p>
<p>how do you add an extra pop of color to your work day? sound off in the comments!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
how to cheat at nail art2021-01-18T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/how-to-cheat-at-nail-art/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/640698611597017088_0.jpg" alt="photo of my left hand in front of my black cat, all the nails have a neutral color with teal and red accent except the middle finger has a purplish neon solid color" /></p>
<p>wow, friends, would you look at that incredible nail art - the colors, the variation in style and shapes! they’re all so different, but yet it works somehow?</p>
<p>yes, i am quite proud of my work here. it would be a damn shame, though, if i was unable to recreate the art of my dominant (right) hand with my left.</p>
<p>oh.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/640698611597017088_1.jpg" alt="my right hand holding a mandarin showing off my nails, all the purplish neon solid color of the previous photo and with a single accent nail" /></p>
<p>“oh wow, how smart, jenn,” you’re probably realizing. “you do most of the intricate art on your <em>left</em> hand with a single color on one nail that you then make the color for most of the nails on your <em>right</em> hand.”</p>
<p>in this house we work smart, not hard.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
dear planet fitness,2021-01-18T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/dear-planet-fitness/<p>a couple of weeks ago i was off of work and trying to check some items off my todo list. one of them was canceling my manhattan gym membership.</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fC-z_VY1gdQ" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>i am happy to report that they received, and understood, my letter:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/639872352010862592_0.jpg" alt="image" /></p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
napping on the job2021-01-11T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/napping-on-the-job/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/640042255316664320.jpg" alt="photo of my black cat pumagreg mid snore while laying on my kitchen table" /></p>
<p>i wanted to share this photo i just took of pumagreg mid-snore.</p>
<p>when i take calls from my kitchen (like i did this morning) i will put my cushion on the table so i’m at a better height with my macbook camera – and so he’s got a little bed to rest on that’s not my keyboard. the world is pumagreg’s bed, we’re just all living on it.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
how do sunscreens work2021-01-10T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/how-do-sunscreens-work/<p>of all my opinions on skincare, one of them is that <strong>you should wear spf every day</strong>. that’s easier said than done - your complexion, skin type, budget, and even which country you live in all have an impact on what your best options are. i’m still figuring it out for myself, and i’ll do a post about the products i use at another time.</p>
<p>in the meantime, i really recommend this video from one of my favorite content creators, <a href="https://labmuffin.com/">lab muffin beauty science</a>. michelle has a phd in chemistry, so some of the videos like this one gets very...science-y...but it’s really good info and not pretentious at all.</p>
<iframe id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AfWG6avOR_E?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" width="540" height="303" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<p>if you’re afraid to dive right into molecule charts, you can work your way up to it by watching her <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XULpx1jaREo">video on wearing spf and makeup together</a> or any other videos she lists in the description to catch you up.</p>
<p>it’s not just about slowing down aging, it’s about preventing skin cancer!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
my 2020 gratitude thread2021-01-04T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/my-2020-gratitude-thread/<p>every month or so when i am feeling destructive, i’ll run a script to delete all of my tweets – <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/708888255828250625">except for a choice few</a>, of course. this year i’m going to avoid doing that, but <em>just in case</em> i want to immortalize a “gratitude thread” thread i made on new years eve.</p>
<p>i am thankful for my alcohol sobriety (21 months next week) 🧃 it is totally a valid badge of honor after the year i’ve had.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/639425419352883200_0.jpg" alt="photo of my boyfriend andy holding my black cat pumagreg" /></p>
<p>thankful for my two fellas, here 💕 when quarantine started, andy and i were apart for a solid 3 months and that fucking sucked! but i am forever indebted to pumagreg for letting me stay in his apartment which i pay for.</p>
<p>i am thankful for animal crossing coming out just in time for my physical and emotional adjustment to being stuck at (pumagreg’s) home as the sole human for months.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/639425419352883200_1.jpg" alt="screenshot of a skype call and all of us hoobastank2 hosts are floating busts in some weird amphitheater virtual background" /></p>
<p>i am v thankful for <a href="https://twitter.com/Hoobastank2TTV">@Hoobastank2TTV</a> & my dear friends + collaborators <a href="https://twitter.com/bijanstephen">bijan</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/broderick">ryan</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/markvigeant">mark</a>, & <a href="https://twitter.com/karlsaintlucy">karl</a>. i love hanging out with these goofs & talking shit every week. i am v excited for what we have in store for the new year & i am not thankful for “skype”</p>
<p>i am thankful for everyone following and contributing to my lifestyle blog/performance (this blog you’re reading now hehe) y’all helped me raise over $10k for the wpa at the first livelaughconf and i am excited to expand the live laugh “brand” in 2021.</p>
<p>i am thankful for my 2020 album of the year (17 years in a row!), <a href="https://twitter.com/AFI">@AFI</a>’s sing the sorrow. my sweet boys, if you’re reading this, your spotify streams may have dropped significantly this year but that’s just because i switched to tidal.</p>
<p>i am thankful for my neighbors and the deeper connections i’ve made with them during the pandemic. it made me feel less isolated and more at home.</p>
<p>i am thankful for my therapist!!</p>
<p>work this year has not been fun for me, but i am thankful to anil (my skip-level manager/ceo) and alexa (my manager/vp of marketing) for coaching me through the lows. i made it a point to stop saying “i’m blessed to have a job” because that’s just me being brainwashed by capitalism but i <em>am</em> blessed to have those two on my team.</p>
<p>i am extremely thankful for the <a href="https://glitch.com/">glitch</a> community for giving me so many cool apps to look at, asking great questions and giving really important and needed feedback as we rode this turbulent carousel of time together. the community is my favorite and most important colleague.</p>
<p>thankful for newsletter/columns that brought me much joy and intelligence: ryan broderick’s <a href="https://www.garbageday.email/">garbage day</a>, david farrier’s <a href="https://www.webworm.co/">webworm</a>, casey johnston’s <a href="https://www.vice.com/en/topic/ask-a-swole-woman">ask a swole woman</a>, and dm’s from my style muse, <a href="https://twitter.com/msdixon">rachel</a>.</p>
<p>thankful to plants and legumes, and my access to them, for sustaining me in my journey of valuing all living creatures, not just humans.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/639425419352883200_2.jpg" alt="a diptych of a dat boi meme and iud" /></p>
<p>i am thankful for good memes and iuds</p>
<p>i am thankful for all the animals who made surprise appearances in all my zoom calls</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/639425419352883200_3.jpg" alt="a photo of a cake iced and with cones as legs to look like a turkey (kind of)" /></p>
<p>and of course i am thankful for my many incredible talents 🎉</p>
<p>i’m wishing you all a lively, laughful and loving 2021!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
emotionally stable woman crushes baskin robbins turkey cake challenge2020-12-31T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/emotionally-stable-woman-crushes-baskin-robbins-turkey-cake-challenge/<p>last month we had a special stanksgiving episode on hoobastank 2 (a cool twitch stream i co-host). all the guys were bringing “cursed foods” so i decided to bring a vegan version of baskin robbins’ thanksgiving turkey ice cream cake – and vlog through the chaos. the video above are those vlogs and the on-stream reveal edited together. my new ethernet adaptor was stuck in customs that week, as y’all will be able to tell 👽</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/x2t5-WdflMw" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
today i put jeans on, on purpose!2020-12-30T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/today-i-put-jeans-on-on-purpose-2020/<p>i got dressed to go to duane reade and use my “$7 off purchases of $25 or more” coupon on allergy medicine but then it immediately got dark outside so i changed my mind and changed into my pajamas. guess i’ll try again next year 😏</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/638986610654019584_0.jpg" alt="mirror selfie and i'm wearing a blue denim button up, black crop turtleneck, big blue jeans and black boots, also a leopard print belt" /></p>
<p><em>button up from everlane, turtleneck crop from asos, jeans from cos, boots from cole haan (<a href="https://www.colehaan.com/collabs-slack.html">recent collaborators</a> with IRC competitor, slack), belt from target. everything except the belt and jeans were thrifted. i just noticed the cat toy on the floor in front of my feet; i’ve been looking all week for that thing!</em></p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
illustrations of procrastination: sweet potato and black bean bowl2020-12-13T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/illustrations-of-procrastination-sweet-potato-and-black-bean-bowl/<p>it’s a beautiful day outside here in jersey city, one after a few weeks of what feel like gloom but which were probably my own brain’s weather forecasts. it feels really good to, after a long walk and some chores, sit by an open window and blog! over the past few months i have been trying to pull myself up and over this large, theoretical wall built by capitalism and millennial shame (redundant?), with my energy coming solely from constantly telling myself that i am hot and smart and don’t deserve to have to feel tired and sad as much as i have been lately. therapy helps a lot too!</p>
<p>for this simple, vegan dish you just need sweet potatoes, a chopped onion and a can of black beans. peel the potatoes and cut into cubes. promise your cat that you’ll make him a new bed of potatoes next week.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/637417489204166656_0.jpg" alt="photo of a black cat on a table laying against a pile of sweet potatoes" /></p>
<p>in a bowl, toss the potatoes with oil, salt, and some brown sugar if you’re feeling dangerous. put them on a baking sheet and place in the oven on 375F for 30-40 minutes, checking in on them about halfway through to do that thing where you move the pieces so they get cooked on each side, i forget the word. is there a word for that? sound off in the comments.</p>
<p>while the sweet potatoes are roasting, clean all of your makeup brushes instead of doing the task that you know you <em>have</em> to do but are dreading.</p>
<p>when the potatoes have about 10 minutes left to go, start the beans. in a pan, heat up some olive oil and saute the chopped onion until they start to golden. add the rinsed can of black beans to the pan along with spices and mix - i use taco seasoning which is basically chili powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, cayenne, and onion powder.</p>
<p>mix the two in the bowl (or put in a tortilla, which i usually do except i’m out). you can put salsa and/or avocado on it, it’s your life.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/637417489204166656_1.jpg" alt="photo of a table with makeup brushes drying on a small towel and a bowl of sweet potatoes and black beans next to it" /></p>
<p>i hope you, reader, are staying safe and healthy. if you haven’t done so today, drink some water, get some fresh air, eat some good food, and clean your goddamn makeup brushes.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
halloweens of yesterjenn2020-11-17T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/halloweens-of-yesterjenn/<p>a couple of weeks ago we did a halloween episode of <a href="https://twitch.tv/hoobastank2">hoobastank2</a> where pj vogt of reply all came on and talked about the spoooky topic of improv comedy – it was really good, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1pYimFqUOE&t">check out the interview here</a>. the show was so chill that it ran pretty long so i volunteered the slaughtering of my segment for time - if the show went any longer my face makeup would have gone permanent.</p>
<p>i love halloween because dressing up is fun and fun rules. because of <em>these unprecendented times™</em> i didn't have any parties to go to, but fortunately i had the stream to dress up for. and i scoured through every photograph on my computer taken in the months of october and november over the past 30 years to find me in past halloweens. it was a journey. anyway, without further delay as this is already over 2 weeks late...</p>
<p><strong>let’s take a tour through halloweens of yesterjenn.</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_0.jpg" alt="old photo of two adults dressed as clowns and three little kids dressed as beetlejuice, a princess in white, and a cow" /></p>
<h4>1990, lydia from beetlejuice but dressed in white</h4>
<p>i'm dressed in white in the center. i wanted to be <a href="https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1200/1*dNldcK5OQeexbVJEwobfMQ.jpeg">lydia from beetlejuice</a> but i didn't have a red dress, but pretended i was her anyway. my best friend, jimmy, was beetlejuice and his aunt and uncle were clowns - which was cheating because they were actually clowns by trade.</p>
<p>i give this costume one out of five pumpkins for "<em>one</em> of many times my guardians have disappointed and embarrassed me" 🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_1.jpg" alt="photo of little me dressed in a black dress holding a notepad and there's some fake blood on my sleeve" /></p>
<h4>1993, waitress who has been through some shit</h4>
<p>my dad's wife printed me a label that said "Jennifer" and "Waitress" and i carried a notepad and pencil. i don't know how i got fake blood on my white sweatshirt, but let's just pretend it was part of the narrative.</p>
<p>two out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_2.jpg" alt="me dressed as a nurse standing next to a man whose face i covered with the pey wet cook" /></p>
<h4>2007, hot nurse</h4>
<p>i got a sexy nurse costume that was too big, and shortly after this photo was taken i almost passed out from exhaustion. a week of testing later and i was diagnosed with mono. this was my first quarter of graduate school and i had to spend most of it on the couch because my organs were so swollen.</p>
<p>three out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_3.jpg" alt="photo of me as the hamburglar sitting next to a man whose face i covered with the pey wet cook" /></p>
<h4>2011, hot hamburglar</h4>
<p>this halloween was almost cancelled due to a bizarre snow storm that shut down most of the town. i danced my ass off that night and looked spectacular doing it.</p>
<p>five out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_4.jpg" alt="photo me dressed in a dinosaur onesie next to my pal lisa who has kiss makeup on and a mime outfit" /></p>
<h4>2013, dinosaur jr</h4>
<p>this year my pal lisa and i went as musical puns. she was "french kiss" and i was "dinosaur jr." i wore a dinosaur onesie with flannel and a little backpack. at least lisa got the joke.</p>
<p>four out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_5.jpg" alt="photo of my pal Lisa as Elvis, me as garth, and Bram as pizza rat" /></p>
<h4>2015, garth</h4>
<p>here is my pal lisa again, but as elvis, and me as garth (from wayne's world) and our other pal bram was pizza rat. yes, we're just casually hanging out in a cemetery - it's a long story that jersey city folks know. what's actually important to point out is that this was part of yet another platonic couples costume:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_6.jpg" alt="photo of juan as wayne and me as garth" /></p>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/buritica">juan</a> and i decided to go as wayne and garth because we both wanted to wear wigs. i paid $40 on aerosmith's website for that t-shirt and it was most definitely drop-shipped from zazzle.</p>
<p>three out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_7.jpg" alt="photo of me as wayne and juan as garth" /></p>
<h4>2016, wayne</h4>
<p>it was only natural that the following year that juan and i swap costumes. pure laziness.</p>
<p>two out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃</p>
<p>fortunately, i stepped my game up just a couple of days later...</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_8.jpg" alt="photo in a bar with lisa as andrew wk, me as hot wayne and kaylin as buzz from home alone's girlfriend" /></p>
<h4>also 2016, hot wayne</h4>
<p>honestly, schwiiing!</p>
<p>six out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_9.jpg" alt="photo of me dressed as a cassowary and phil wearing a green dinosaur onesie" /></p>
<h4>2017, cassowary</h4>
<p>cassowaries <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassowary">are considered the most dangerous birds in the world</a> and they can't even fly. idiots! i fashioned a beak out of paper, and you may recognize the dinosaur onesie there that i lent to my pal <a href="https://twitter.com/pnc">phil</a>.</p>
<p>creative but not horny, three out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_10.jpg" alt="me with a blonde wig in a bathroom, wearing all black and holding up a pill-like object and looking at it" /></p>
<h4>2019, elizabeth holmes</h4>
<p>everyone at work was going to be dressing up for halloween, so i bought a blonde wig at the local pop-up costume shop and went as an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Holmes">american business woman with a fear of needles</a>.</p>
<p>four out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃 even <a href="lhttps://twitter.com/Tinashe/status/1189928387260772352">tinashe</a> lol'd.</p>
<p>and that leads to this years costume:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/635093898082058240_11.jpg" alt="me in my room with alice cooper makeup on" /></p>
<h4>2020, hot alice cooper</h4>
<p>it only made sense that i put <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/624912082053251072/finally-a-classic-smoky-eye-tutorial-that-works">some skills i learned over the summer</a> to work and show up to our stream in full, glorious all-over-the-face eyeliner. from the amount of makeup used, it's probably the most effort i've put into a costume, and it was worth it.</p>
<p>six out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃</p>
<p>i hope you enjoyed this walk down memory lane with me. hopefully next halloween the world will be a bit safer to go out in and i can finally go and party dressed as an anarchist cheerleader from the smells like teen spirit video. maybe some of y'all can join me!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
commemorating a nice sunday with a large fake snake skeleton (as one does)2020-10-19T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/commemorating-a-nice-sunday-with-large-fake-snake-skeleton/<p>welcome to my blog! i had an uncharacteristically pleasant sunday and i wanted to document it. it started with waking up with my partner, andy. if you like playing video games, you will probably love <a href="https://andrewreitano.glitch.me/posts/telemelt/">this web-based multi-emulator</a> that he’s been working hard on over the past several months (i, ceo of blogging, built his personal site by the way).</p>
<p>he was over all weekend and had to head home in the morning which is not great, but for a couple of hours my cat, pumagreg, still smelled like him (good). i planned to not get out of my robe and just watch youtube, read <a href="https://www.wordbookstores.com/book/9781250164681">mariah carey’s memoir</a>, and also clean up the huge mess in my kitchen that i made breading eggplant whilst stoned the night before.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/632459883235655680_0.jpg" alt="mirror selfie of me dramatically posing while wearing a fancy short robe and tube socks" /></p>
<p>plans were meant to be broken, though. my good friend and neighbor, lisa, needed to go to target to buy some halloween decorations and asked if i wanted to come along. she’s making a long tube to distribute candy safely to trick or treaters from her window. lisa is great at many things, including being my instagram boyfriend, which is important on walks around jersey city. this area is rich with unique street art.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/632459883235655680_1.jpg" alt="photo of me posting dramatically in front of street art of an alien saying the earth's gas prices are too high" /></p>
<p>i hadn’t been to our local target in 5 years. i live in a pretty reasonable part of new jersey where everyone has been wearing masks with minimal drama, and it was pretty much the evening so there were not many people there. i bought a 6.5 foot-long snake skeleton, which i wore like a scarf on the trip home.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/632459883235655680_2.jpg" alt="mirror selfie of me holding my black cat and also i have a snake skeleton as a scarf" /></p>
<p>pumagreg, who at this point smelled like his usual self (still good), was “fine” with the snake skeleton.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/632459883235655680_3.jpg" alt="a photo of my black cat looking like he's going to kiss my snake skeleton" /></p>
<p>i closed out the days activities by completing the last workout of the <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/628660897525760000/ive-made-it-6-weeks-into-a-12-week-strength">12-week strength-building program by alexis claire</a> that i’ve been doing. i’m not happy it’s over, i’m just happy that i completed something. sticking to a workout program (hell, even starting it) is hard enough, but 12 weeks is a long time! a few of you have reached out to me after my last post to tell me you’re doing the program now and so i wish you hella strength and healthy gains! today i started a new workout program that’s 2 weeks, which i’ll write about once it’s complete.</p>
<p>i’m hoping i didn’t cash my entire good-day-cheque on this weekend, but even if i did i’ve now got this cool long skeleton to show off on <a href="https://twitch.tv/hoobastank2">hoobastank2 this wednesday night</a>. i do it all for the blog/stream! anyway, hope you all are doing well and spooky (good).</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
some things that are helping me get through october2020-10-11T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/some-things-that-are-helping-me-get-through-october-2020/<p>i just read through 3 months of magazine subscriptions and realized that i'm long overdue on sharing some lifestyle happenings on this, my lifestyle blog. september brought everyone an extra amount of bullshit that we're still seeming to process on top of what october's been bringing our way. i wanted to take some time to talk about some things that have not been disappointing or stressing me out.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/631717886724046848_0.jpg" alt="photo of a bowl of pasta with sauce and ground vegan meat" /></p>
<h4>alt pasta</h4>
<p>i have been hitting my <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/628660897525760000/ive-made-it-6-weeks-into-a-12-week-strength">protein goals</a> while satiating the comfort craving of pasta by eating alternative forms of it in chickpea, lentil or cauliflower form. my local key food (grocery store) carries some different brands and varieties, like <a href="https://tolerantfoods.com/our-products/organic-red-lentil-rotini/">tolerant </a>(my go-to) and <em>barilla</em> even has varieties now! these pastas often provide 4x the protein that normal pasta does! i love making a quick and vegan version of hamburger helper by sauteing a chopped up veggie burger and adding it to some pasta and sauce (as in the above photo).</p>
<p>another high protein alt food i’m into: <a href="https://www.ripplefoods.com/vanilla-unsweetened-plant-milk/">pea milk</a>. yes, pea milk, trust me!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/631717886724046848_1.jpg" alt="photo of my face wearing lavender lipstick" /></p>
<h4>rare beauty’s lip souffle matte cream*</h4>
<p>this <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/some-things-that-are-helping-me-get-through-october-2020/%5B%3Chttps://www.rarebeauty.com/products/lip-souffle-matte-lip-cream?variant=34493776003207%3E%5D(%3Chttps://www.rarebeauty.com/products/lip-souffle-matte-lip-cream?variant=34493776003207%3E)">liquid lip</a> dries matte, builds well and wears <em>so</em> comfortably! the color names are silly and hard to remember (i think the lavender i’m wearing above is called “daring” - remember, pastel <em>is</em> goth), but the colors are great. i’ve got the red one and one of the brighter pinks. they do stain a bit, but i personally prefer a stain over a lipstick that disappears after 2 sips of a drink.</p>
<p>another beauty item i’m into: <a href="https://getgoodmolecules.com/products/clarify-cleanse-bar">good molecule’s clarify & cleanse bar</a>, which i can use to wash my face before and after workouts without it leaving my face feeling dry and taut.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/631717886724046848_2.jpg" alt="photo of my hand holding up a mason jar with a watermelong mocktail in it" /></p>
<h4>watermelon mocktails</h4>
<p>speaking of drinks, i’m still on my <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/624116521195700224/celery-soda-for-adults-real-grown-ups-only">adult soda game</a> and even though summer is over i still am obsessed with watermelon drinks. today i mashed up some watermelon cubes, added ice, and poured over equal parts seltzer and <a href="https://bigeasybucha.com/">melon kombucha from big easy bucha</a>. i must be some kind of classy bitch or something.</p>
<p>another beverage item i’m into: my <a href="https://aeropress.com/">aeropress</a>. my boyfriend makes my favorite cup of coffee, and so in an attempt to replicate it i got one. turns out i can't replicate the <em>whole experience</em>, but it is fast and <em>so</em> easy to clean. i can dump the grinds right in my compost bin in the freezer without making a mess.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/631717886724046848_3.jpg" alt="mirror selfie and i'm holding my black cat, pumagreg" /></p>
<p>i wish you all a cozy october. as i started writing that sentence, pumagreg’s tail knocked over my empty watermelon mocktail glass and he got scared and dug all his nails into my tits as he ran away scared. feels appropriate these days, anyway please do take care of yourselves!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn (bleeding) + pumagreg (thriving)</p>
i’ve made it 6 weeks into a 12 week strength training program, so i’m ready to talk about it2020-09-08T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-have-made-it-6-weeks-into-build-strength-training-program/<p>the last day i stepped foot into the gym was on february 24th. it was the second week i was “back in the gym” after a 3-month upper respiratory infection took me out. i did a HIIT workout and ran a mile, i felt good, and took a selfie after as i usually did.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/628660897525760000_0.jpg" alt="selfie of me at the gym" /></p>
<p>i don’t remember thinking that would be my last day in the gym, i don’t even remember if the pandemic was even on my radar - it probably wasn’t. looking at other photos on my phone from that day, all i could gather was that i was on my usual bullshit: watching music compilations on my phone with dangerously low battery.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/628660897525760000_1.jpg" alt="youtube screenshot of a music compilation called "songs that get white people turnt"" /></p>
<p>i hated working out at home. the gym was nice and cool, had all the equipment i needed. it had a SAUNA! holy shit do i miss the sauna. i liked my short walk home from the gym, through the park. it was always late enough that the park was fairly empty, but early enough that restaurants were still open so it felt safe.</p>
<p>when our office closed and we became fully remote (we were a "hybrid” company once upon a time), i stopped doing anything but working. i think a lot of us threw our entire selves into work by making sure our reports were adapting as best as they could, continuing to ship product to feel in control and normal about <em>something</em>. i stopped working out, i stopped reading, but i did start focusing on vegan cooking and cleaning my apartment.</p>
<p>i’ve learned that going through quarantine is much like going through sobriety; you have to learn to take things day by day and be forgiving of yourself. even when i wasn’t sober, i always kicked my own ass left and right, holding myself to such high expectations. the quarantine forced me to be by myself for a long time (andy and i didn’t see each other for 3 months) and i had to recreate routines to give me some new sense of normal so i could put less pressure on myself to “succeed at quarantining” - and i couldn’t use alcohol. i’m forever grateful that my therapist moved to doing sessions over the phone - btw if they’re reading this: thank you, but also stop reading my blog! that’s cheating!</p>
<p>i started watching a lot of tiktok, youtube and twitch streams, and following a lot of fitness trainers and watching so much accessible fitness content that i finally got bit by the bug. one tiktok’er, <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-have-made-it-6-weeks-into-build-strength-training-program/tiktok.com/@alexisclairefit">alexisclarefit</a> (she goes by that handle on youtube as well), is one of my favorites. she’s a fitness coach who lifts and is vegan!</p>
<p>a couple of months she started what will be a 12-week free workout program, called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKscS2ZSN8w&list=PL6QlepIvp_qepABnDFLg-opwiLwjqnNR2">the build program</a>. i am now on week 7 (i had to redo week 6 because i was sick the week before last). i’ve been having such a fun time and loving the results so i wanted to share it. here’s her intro:</p>
<iframe id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kKscS2ZSN8w?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" width="540" height="304" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<p>alexis is not only super knowledgeable about her craft, she’s also super relatable – <em>[tips fedora] hello, fellow bi vegan stoners who lift</em>. the program is designed to be at home with minimal equipment (dumbbells, resistance band), but the first two weeks she uses just a large bottle of laundry detergent so you can order the dumbbells and band and start the program whilst you wait for their delivery. her boyfriend, cat and dog often enter the frame. again, it’s all relatable and accessible, and she also includes nutrition advice and tips.</p>
<p>one thing that i really like about her videos is that she gives predictable, structured breaks and reminds you to drink water. she also talks a lot about the “mind-to-muscle connection”. i’ve not had workout programs, before, remind me to to connect my mind to the muscle i’m working - it sounds weird, but it really has helped me level-up on my form and make my workouts more effective.</p>
<p>so, yeah, i’m feeling v good about my new workout routine, and gaining the muscle i lost from the upper respiratory infection (and then some). gyms in new jersey are opening up, but i don’t think i’m going to enter one for awhile. fortunately, i am used to working out at home and don’t hate it like i used to - i just have to do a better job at taking selfies every night like i used to!</p>
<p>if you’re looking for a routine to ease back into working out (or to just get started), i highly recommend <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKscS2ZSN8w&list=PL6QlepIvp_qepABnDFLg-opwiLwjqnNR2">the build program</a>. if you’re not active and feeling bad about it - remember that the pandemic is not a hackathon, sporting event or conference, it’s a health crisis that none of us consented to. you do what you gotta do to make it through the day.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i dropped off my food scraps and no one yelled at me2020-08-30T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-dropped-off-my-food-scraps-and-no-one-yelled-at-me/<p>i've been going through some non-contagious health issues over the past week and today i finally worked up the energy to do some chores! one of them was dropping off all the food scraps i had been hoarding in my freezer this month. this is my first time "composting" so i was nervous about not doing the drop off correctly and someone being mean to me about it. spoiler alert: no one was mean to me.</p>
<p>please enjoy my composting live laugh vlog:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6DeZcL-bG-I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i vividly remember the first time i was made to feel dumb for asking a question2020-08-29T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-remember-the-first-time-i-was-made-to-feel-dumb-for-asking-a-question/<p>a few days ago i was sitting outside the pharmacy waiting for a prescription and <s><em>as one does</em></s> decided to match my mental pain to the physical by going on twitter. sure enough, the first thing i see is a viral tweet of a young woman calling another young woman’s tiktok “the dumbest video” she’s ever seen, as it was questioning the realness, reasons and origins of mathematical discovery.</p>
<p>these questions raised in the video are at the core of mathematical philosophy, which often doesn't have room in our education system because, i mean, how could you possibly represent that subject in standardized testing – the real enemy, honestly! anyway, this video is probably not the dumbest video anyone's seen – even if it was at least one day before any of us watched the video of elon musk presenting the neuralink.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>this is actually a smart video and she is asking great questions that our parents and education system train us to be afraid to ask because there is a huge stigma on actually being wise (knowing what you don’t know) <a href="https://t.co/Z0GZTOtm33">https://t.co/Z0GZTOtm33</a></p>
<div>— jenn (@jennschiffer) </div>[August 27, 2020](https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1298995606002663425?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) <script async="" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
</blockquote>
<p>later in my thread i said "i vividly remember (and am reminded of constantly, even though it happened in 1st grade) the first time i was made to feel dumb for asking a question" and i wanted to share that story with you, today.</p>
<p>when i was in first grade, i worked up the nerve to finally ask my doctor the question that was burning in my brain for what seemed like forever: "why do all of my nails have <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leukonychia"> white marks</a> on them?" instead of answering my question, the doctor chuckled as she took my blood pressure (my favorite part of doctor appointments) and said "that's a silly question, let's talk about why you're here." my dad chuckled, too! i remember it vividly because it's the earliest memory i have of feeling both embarrassed and betrayed.</p>
<p><em>by the way, my hypothesis is that the leukonychia was caused by my nervous nail-biting habit which i finally kicked once i was living on my own, bless.</em></p>
<p>believe it or not, i was a super quiet kid. as an adult, i'm definitely not! i think that the voice i have today grew largely in part from the frustration of not being satisfied with the answers that adults gave me to my questions or calls for support. today, my voice continues to get louder with frustration as adults continue to dismiss the validity and power of "i don't know" as an answer. this is what motivated me to post that twitter thread; here is a young woman saying she doesn't know and asking the questions she has, and people were calling her dumb for it. not on <em>my</em> website!</p>
<p>at the heart of this discussion, i feel there are two things that are unfair: people declaring that all of math is a construct, and the certainty that we're still being conditioned to think it's bad to ask questions or (especially for underrepresented groups) have the answers. while it unnerved me to see young people torn down for questioning anything, it warmed me to also see that social media gives them the space and confidence to post that questioning and reach older folks like me to encourage and join them.</p>
<p>i'm going to continue to encourage that curiosity, and also remember to mute twitter threads before taking naps.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
i was a virtual fan at an nba playoffs round 1 game2020-08-19T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-was-a-virtual-fan-at-an-nba-playoffs-round-1-game/<p>basketball, which is basically the perfect sport and something i am quite fond of, was paused during the quarantine for obvious reasons. fortunately, the nba figured out a way to bring it back safely <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020_NBA_Bubble">via a resort bubble in cahoots with disney</a> – someone please go back in time one year, read that sentence to me and let me know my reaction.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626935916252037120_0.jpg" alt="lil wayne as virtual fan" /></p>
<p>i got into today’s game 2 with the nets and raptors. the nets are my team, and the raptors won the playoffs last year, so i was excited about the match-up. to be honest, i’m not taking these play-offs too seriously — i mean, they’re all in a bubble, there are no fans in-stadium, not all of the players opted in to playing in the bubble, and there is still a pandemic happening. i’m just happy to be getting any basketball.</p>
<p>getting into the virtual seats is like waiting to get on a plane; you end up in arbitrary groups that they say you get seated in order, but you get the sense they’re just trolling you. i had to upload a photo of my id and show my webcam setup, then waited “in line” for like a half hour to even get into the microsoft teams meeting (yes, i downloaded microsoft teams for this). all of a sudden i was in a group video call with over 100 basketball fans, video and audio on.</p>
<p>it was pure, fun chaos until someone working at microsoft temporarily muted us all so they could show us how to set stuff up, which stressed me out way more than 100 sports fans talking shit all at once. i was using a mac, and i don’t think the microsoft folks even acknowledged us - they were describing clicking buttons that i couldn’t find anywhere, and i was worried i’d not get on screen.</p>
<p>but then i saw myself in a virtual seat and was like “oh, i guess it just works!” here is the screenshot of teams showing the fan board, and also the live broadcast we got to watch alongside it. notice how there were like 32 spots in this section and over 100 in the chat.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626935916252037120_1.jpg" alt="screenshot of microsoft teams call with nba virtual fans" /></p>
<p>if you turned your video off, it would open a spot for another person in the chat to show up in a seat. they tried to get us every quarter to turn off our cameras so that others can come in. many outwardly refused, so a microsoft person would force everyone’s camera off. here i am hydrating with water i got for free from my sink, instead of an $8 12 ounce bottle from a barclays center stand.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626935916252037120_2.jpg" alt="virtual fan stands with me drinking water" /></p>
<p>everyone was having a blast! the shit-talking was minimal, but about the normal, reasonable questioning of whether the raptors actually earned their win last year or was it just because of the warriors’ injuries. regardless of the hard truths, the most important thing is that halfway through the game someone had finally brought a dog.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626935916252037120_3.jpg" alt="virtual fan stands and one of the fans above me is a dog and i" /></p>
<p>i was very happy that everyone followed the code of conduct; i saw zero dicks on stream. once in awhile a kid would show up in a chair, and they’d get so excited to see themselves on a screen! one kid asked everyone what their favorite cereal was and someone said “joe harris” which is of course the best, correct answer.</p>
<p>the nets lost but it was a super close and entertaining game the entire time. i often get very stressed during the last quarter of games, as you can tell here during the last several seconds (at this point i switched my cap to a new jersey nets one):
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626935916252037120_4.jpg" alt="virtual fan stands with me having my hands on my face because i" /></p>
<p>i think that basketball games are too long to sit in a video call for, so i probably will not sign up to be a virtual fan again unless the nets make it to the next round. the teams chat is definitely not the same energy as being there in the stands, but i think it was a nice adaptation given the constraints. when the game ended, we were told that we were part of history as one of the first groups of virtual fans, which is hella cool but <em>holy shit</em> do i wish it was under different circumstances. and also that the nets won.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn aka <em>Pg9s5fan20</em></p>
getting a tofu press made a huge difference in my faux “egg” salad and my stress levels2020-08-16T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/getting-tofu-press-made-huge-difference-in-my-faux-egg-salad/<p>for the longest time, i've been pressing tofu in a completely inefficient and painus-in-the-anus way: putting the tofu block on a plate, putting a plate on top of it, and then putting a cast iron pan on top of the plate. i'd have to stay in the kitchen to make sure it didn't tip over (it always did) or that my cat didn't mess with it (he always did). and i could never press it for too long because it was out of the fridge. it may sound silly to have so many issues about preparing tofu, but as bon jovi said, <em>it's my life!</em>[[MORE]]</p>
<p>when i started getting into reading vegan blogs, i saw how all of their tofu recipes looked so perfectly crisp and not soggy and my hypothesis was that they were properly pressing their tofu (spoiler alert: i was right). after reading some reviews, i got myself a <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/getting-tofu-press-made-huge-difference-in-my-faux-egg-salad/%5Bhttps://tofuxpress.com/%5D(https://tofuxpress.com/)">tofuxpress</a>. it arrived a couple of days later and i broke it in with some faux egg salad.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626647253909733376_0.jpg" alt="the parts of the tofuxpress laid out along with a recipe card and notepad it came with" /></p>
<p>i often "forget" to "read the manual" or "look at the box" when i get things, so i immediately set up the press upside down on a plate before realizing...this is probably incorrect.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626647253909733376_1.jpg" alt="photo of the tofuxpress incorrectly standing upside down on a plate on my kitchen counter" /></p>
<p>so i read the instructions and they said that i <em>did</em> put the tofu and spring correctly together, but that i don't have to put it upside down; i can put it spring-upwards in the fridge and then, after pressing for as long as i need, i can pour the water out that came to the top. <strong>so don't do what i did above, i'm just showing you what a dumbass i am.</strong> the instructions also show that the bottom piece is a lid if you want to use it for marinating the tofu, so that's pretty cool and clever.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626647253909733376_2.jpg" alt="photo of my kitchen counter with all my ingredients (listed below) laid out" /></p>
<p>after pressing the tofu for a few hours, i broke it into small chunks with a potato masher and mixed in the following ingredients to make a faux egg salad.</p>
<ul>
<li>1/2 tsp turmeric</li>
<li>1/4 tsp black salt, for the eggy flavor</li>
<li>1/4 cup vegenaise to start, add more at the end if you need more moisture</li>
<li>2 tbsp spicy brown/dijon mustard</li>
<li>a splash of distilled white vinegar</li>
<li>some chopped scallions</li>
<li>salt and pepper to taste</li>
</ul>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626647253909733376_3.jpg" alt="photo of the sandwich open with slices of tomato on one side" /></p>
<p>getting the water all pressed out meant that any moisture would be from the added flavors, which made a <em>huge</em> difference from past batches i've made. the tofuxpress was easy to clean and my tofu came out in one piece - which matters for some recipes! i'm quite pleased with it, and with my sandwich. the box says it can be used to "press vegetables and fruits - eggplant, cabbage, spinach, salads, fruits and more" so if you're looking to press fruits such as "fruits and more," you may want to try this out.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626647253909733376_4.jpg" alt="photo of the sandwich cut in half" /></p>
<p>sometimes if i'm feeling like a fancy baby (i always am), i'll add everything bagel seasoning and cholula to my "egg" salad.</p>
<p>xoxo j$</p>
here’s a “what a vegan eats in a day” post for me to point folks who are artificially concerned about my protein intake to2020-08-09T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/here-is-a-what-a-vegan-eats-in-a-day-post-for-protein-truthers/<p>hello friends! before i jump into things, it’s very important that i prefix this post with a number of important disclaimers so that no one is harmed:</p>
<ul>
<li>this post is about food, specifically food that i have eaten today</li>
<li>i am a vegan who lifts. if you’re interested in veganism and/or lifting, it is imperative that you talk to your own doctor. i do/will not offer nutrition advice, only my personal experience.</li>
<li>i am not soliciting nutrition advice or critique on my macro or micro nutrients. i take advice from my doctors and not the internet, and i encourage you to follow that same rule!</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>ok cool! let’s start with what protein has to do with veganism.</strong></p>
<p>when someone finds out i am vegan, the number one response i get is “i couldn’t LIVE without (bacon or cheese)” which likely isn’t true but i probably wasn’t even asking anyway. i’m vegan because i can be, not just because i should be - and that’s a very important distinction for me personally. food is personal and i often don’t mention my diet unless i am offered non-vegan food.</p>
<p>the second response is something along the lines of “well where do you get all your protein?” this isn’t an unforgivable question, it’s just that it often comes from someone who isn’t even interested in any response other than “oh my god, i totally forgot about protein! pass me that bacon!” by the way, a slice of bacon really only has a few grams of protein. if you’re new to actively thinking about protein sources, you’ll find that it’s in a lot of plant-based foods!!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626024045136297984_0.jpg" alt="a screenshot of a google search for " /></p>
<p>protein is important, especially when trying to build muscle. there are a number of ways to figure out what your intake should be - talk to a nutritionist and/or a certified trainer to find out yours.</p>
<p><strong>my current daily minimum goal is 80 grams of protein. today i hit 86g. here’s what i ate:</strong></p>
<p>this morning i started with a homemade almond milk iced latte, sweetened with a little maple syrup. i ate half of a fresh dragonfruit and then i mashed up a small avocado with red pepper flakes, lime juice and cholula. this all came out to 5g of protein.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626024045136297984_1.jpg" alt="a half of a dragonfruit" /></p>
<p>i worked out (leg and buns day) and had a rice cake with peanut butter - skippy now makes a high-protein peanut butter that’s 10g of protein a serving (normally peanut butter is 7g). i had a late brunch zoom call with some good friends, for which i made some chili flavored top ramen and added snow peas, fresh corn, mushrooms and spinach. i also had my b12 supplement with this meal (that <em>is</em> a micronutrient that is not really found in plant-based foods). all of this together was about 26g of protein.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626024045136297984_2.jpg" alt="a bowl of ramen" /></p>
<p>after brunch i went for a walk and had another almond milk iced latte. my walk ended prematurely after <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1292580824475303936">a squirrel pissed on me</a> from up in a tree. if this was the first time that happened, i’d be hyped about possibly waking up with super powers, but this is the second time that has happened.</p>
<p>for dinner i boiled some rainbow carrots and smothered some tempeh in cholula. tempeh is a rich source of protein; the meal was about 23g altogether.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626024045136297984_3.jpg" alt="a plate with carrot coins and tempeh covered in red hot sauce" /></p>
<p>for dessert, i made a protein shake with vegan (pea) protein powder, powdered peanut butter and almond milk. you can trust that i will not lie to you about food tasting good - for example, vegan cheese? hard pass. but this shake is really good. just as good was a glass of coke zero and these jalapeno kettle chips. altogether, this was 32g of protein.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/626024045136297984_4.jpg" alt="a glass of coke zero and a plate with chips in front of a cannister of protein powder and peanut butter powder" /></p>
<p>another important thing to lifting (or being alive, in general) is water intake. as i’m writing this, i finished my 96th ounce of water which is my average daily intake but i’d like to bump that up to a gallon (128 oz). but if i don’t soon, that’s totally okay! the most important thing for me about water and food is that i <strong>enjoy myself</strong> when i consume it.</p>
<p>i’m very fortunate that veganism has introduced me to fun, delicious foods and recipes i’ve never eaten before. and a cool thing is that plant-based foods are not solely for plant-based diets - you can have some bacon with that mashed avocado if you must.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
6 statement pieces that really make a statement2020-08-06T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/6-statement-pieces-that-really-make-a-statement/<p>as a student of sustainability on a quest to become more of a friend to the planet than a foe, i made it a point in 2020 to stop buying new clothes. i make exceptions for underwear, bras, socks, masks (🙃) and merch that supports artists and organizations i love, but other than that i go for second-hand or (less simply) trying to just not buy anything. it’s super hard – i <em>love</em> shopping – and the pandemic put an end to one of my favorite hobbies of walking around nyc and thrifting.</p>
<p>to satiate my shopping desires, i’ve been doing a lot of virtual window shopping, which is just me browsing clothes online with the rule that <em>i cannot buy anything</em>. i’ve found that simply sharing cool stuff i found with my friends is enough for me.</p>
<p><strong>you’re my friends, now, so here are six statement pieces that really make a statement.</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625719685219008513_0.jpg" alt="light gray shirt that says "i googled my symptoms turns out i'pm a bitch"" /></p>
<p>my style is a mix between manhattan super villain and jersey health goth, so most of my clothes are black but i do enjoy heather gray shirts (i’m wearing one now). i also like to cuff my sleeves so my cute shoulder tattoos peek out a bit. the chuck taylors are classic and great for when you’re lifting.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625719685219008513_1.jpg" alt="dark gray shirt that says "i googled my symptoms turns out i'pm a bitch"" /></p>
<p>when i’m not in the mood for heather gray, but not in the mood for black, i love to go for the inbetween: dark heather-gray. i normally tie my shirts in the back for front depending on if i’m sitting down or working out on a mat, but i should try to the side like it’s styled in this photo! i’m honestly not a fan of keds, they just always take years to break in and stop shredding up the back of my foot.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625719685219008513_2.jpg" alt="white shirt that says "i googled my symptoms turns out i'pm a bitch"" /></p>
<p>when i’m feeling dangerous, i’ll wear a crisp white tee. i don’t sort my laundry, so the crispness is always very short-lived. i’d pair this classic with a pair of black leggings and a brooklyn nets cap.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625719685219008513_3.jpg" alt="pink shirt that says "i googled my symptoms turns out i'pm a bitch"" /></p>
<p>if i wear any colors lately, it’s usually a pink like this or goldenrod. i went through a brown ankle boot phase in 2013 before i discovered gray ankle boots. changing careers from academia to the tech industry is core to my super villain style origin story.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625719685219008513_4.jpg" alt="green shirt that says "i googled my symptoms turns out i'pm a bitch"" /></p>
<p>i probably would never wear this color unless the shirt itself smelled like irish spring, but i included it here because it has the tie in the front. what i’ll do with the tie is tuck it under the shirt high enough so that my neighbors could wonder if i have three tits.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625719685219008513_5.jpg" alt="peach shirt that says "i googled my symptoms turns out i'pm a bitch"" /></p>
<p>believe or not, i LOVE this heather gray + pink mix, and i am really pleased to see the heather gray hybrid shades becoming more prominent in t-shirt fashions as of late – they simply catch stains and cat hair way better than solid colors do.</p>
<p>i encourage you to think about your consumption of clothing, and consider intentional digital window shopping over actual shopping. it’s a sustainable way to pass the time, learn the latest fashion trends, reflect on what you currently own and be inspired to take what you have already to express yourself.</p>
i am a stamp collector now2020-07-31T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/i-am-a-stamp-collector-now/<p>happy <a href="https://twitter.com/GatorsDaily/status/1289197294558908416?s=20">friday</a>, friends. on monday i go back to work after a week off of <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/624912082053251072/finally-a-classic-smoky-eye-tutorial-that-works">self care</a> and catching up on hobbies, old and new. i wanted to tell you about my newest. it all started a couple of weeks ago when a coupon insert told me i can get 200 used stamps for "–<em>only $1.00</em>" and i was like "<em>hell yeah, count me in.</em>" [[MORE]]</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_0.jpg" alt="photo of a coupon flyer for buying a stamp grabbag" /></p>
<p>the act of me actually filling out a form with my credit card info or mailing a check for $1.00 was <em>not</em> going to happen, but the form had a link to the <a href="https://www.mysticstamp.com/">mystic stamp company</a>’s online listing so that’s how i ordered.</p>
<p>the mystic stamp company <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystic_Stamp_Company">is a mail-order postage stamp dealer</a> based in new york and has been around for almost 100 years – that’s older than i am! upon purchasing the grab bag, they have sent emails every single day and, to be quite honest, i will <em>never unsubscribe.</em> the earnestness and love and care of stamps that exude from these emails assured me that i wasn’t being scammed, that one day i’d get 200 used stamps. yesterday they arrived:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_1.jpg" alt="an envelope addressed to me, address "hell"" /></p>
<p>by the way, welcome to my bed this morning. i was going to wait for later in the day when i was at my table but i was so excited to see what i got that i even opened this <em>before</em> i made coffee.</p>
<p>here is the bag of 200 stamps:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_2.jpg" alt="me holding a little ziploc bag full of stamps" /></p>
<p>but there was more! they sent other sets of stamps for me to check out and decide if i wanted to keep them and pay, or send them back. i don’t know long they’ve been selling this way, but i’m sure it predates today’s subscription box models of “try before you buy.” truly iconic and also a way to easily debilitate me.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_3.jpg" alt="a few bags of stamps on a cream-colored blanket" /></p>
<p>i didn’t want to <em>not</em> purchase more stamps, but i also didn’t want to keep these from “real stamp collectors.” fortunately, i caught myself early on before fully entering yet another guilt and impostor syndrome spiral that we older millennials love to spin in, and decided to choose the stamp set that had <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harriet_Quimby">harriet quimby</a> in it and send mystic stamp company $1.00.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_4.jpg" alt="a form for ordering stamps" /></p>
<p>this gave me a chance to fill out the form and let them know that i
like artists and bugs (they asked!). i’m wise enough to remember the day princess diana died, so i was not phased at all when i saw her name in the shortlist of stamp collecting guides.</p>
<p>i mailed this out later in the day and, as i’m writing this and looking at this form, i could absolutely KICK myself for checking off “i don’t think of myself as a stamp collector.” <em>stop trivializing your strengths and interests, jenn!!</em> also technically i do collect stamps already:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_5.jpg" alt="a sheet of ellsworth kelly stamps and a single shirley temple stamp" /></p>
<p>i have several sheets of these <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellsworth_Kelly">ellsworth kelly</a> stamps (he’s one of my favorite artists) and i have this one <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shirley_Temple">shirley temple</a> stamp that andy gave me when we first started dating.</p>
<p>after an afternoon of chores and watching <a href="https://stats.nba.com/game/0021901233/">the nets lose</a> in their first bubble game, i organized my grab bag of "200″ stamps on the kitchen table – there were actually around 220 stamps!</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_6.jpg" alt="many stamps organized on a large brown table with a black cat looking confused" /></p>
<p>i’m going to go through the categories of stamps i came up with as i sorted them. by far, most of the collection were "patriotic” and “faces of (mostly white, male) people in history.”</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_7.jpg" alt="a two panel photo of stamps, many patriotic ones and many ones with faces" /></p>
<p>99% of these were boring. for some reason i feel like the boat named after rob*rt <em>. l</em>* belongs in the “faces” section.</p>
<p>then we have the "nature” and "science” stamps:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_8.jpg" alt="a two panel photo of stamps, several nature ones and several science ones" /></p>
<p>today i learned that my favorite one there, the 4 coral reefs, together make a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plate_block">plate block</a>. i also like the catfish. the “atoms for peace” ones i probably should have put under “patriotic” as it was a presidential speech. unfortunately there was only one bug (butterflies, my least favorite) - good thing i listed “bugs” as an interest in the form i mailed out to them!</p>
<p>the next two categories are "places” and “probably december.”</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_9.jpg" alt="a two panel photo of several geographic stamps and several christmas and snowflake stamps" /></p>
<p>i was excited about the brooklyn bridge one because i’m from brooklyn and it’s just nice to feel represented somehow. i’m indifferent to christmas, but they do stand out from the other more boring groups.</p>
<p>finally, here are “art” and “transportation”</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_10.jpg" alt="a two panel photo of several art stamps and several transportation related stamps" /></p>
<p>i was super stoked to find a mary cassatt stamp. if you want to learn more about her, i wrote about her for <a href="http://vart.institute/cassatt/index.html">an art + code project i did a few years ago called vart</a>. i also liked the “stop traffic accidents” psa stamp.</p>
<p>okay, so that was all the sorted stamps. i put them into separate envelopes to organize and store, but not before creating a separate category envelope for “greatest hits” which include the following:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/625202442491068416_11.jpg" alt="a group of 9 stamps" /></p>
<p>now that i have a “greatest hits” collection, the next thing i’m going to do is spend hours researching literally everything about each one of them. and then i’ll write about them here because everything i do is for the blog.</p>
<p>i hope you enjoy my new collection, and that you’ll share with me your cool collections – especially stamps, but anything cool is cool, you know?</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
this blog is not even two months old but i’ve already given it a new look2020-07-26T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/this-blog-is-not-even-two-months-old-but-ive-already-given-it-a-new-look/<p>hello, friends! i am currently going through what some would call <em>it</em>, and when i’m going through <em>it</em> i cope by reorganizing the things around me that are reorganize-able. before i go any further, let’s put on some appropriate music.</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UzPh89tD5pA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
<p>okay, so the first thing i did was reorganize my apartment. i moved lots of furniture around, organized things, moved art to different walls, etc. the place now has a whole new, fun energy that i am desperate to have pervade throughout the rest of my life. with my living space in order, it was only natural that i start reorganizing my online spaces. first order of business was to iterate on this site's template.</p>
<p>a big part of the process and performance of creating this blog was hiring professionals to design the branding. one of my myspace top 8, <a href="https://twitter.com/buritica"> juan pablo,</a> introduced me to this incredible couple of women, maria and nataly of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CCoIJ_GDay7/">asísí felicia</a>. if you're starting a blog and are not a designer by trade, i 200% would recommend hiring a designer, and them specifically. i have a sense of style and an aesthetic when it comes to my in-home and online properties, but i knew that if i tried to do the brand design, this thing would never be launched. and it was launched! remember, we <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/post/623482431373246464/the-first-ever-livelaughconf-was-both-two-weeks">raised over $10,000</a>? lol, keep up!</p>
<p>i did much of the blog's layout and element design before and during the brand design process. what i launched this site with was never what i intended to be official/permanent – but it got. the. job. done. here is what the site looked like this morning:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624753646100480000_0.jpg" alt="screenshot of livelaughblog with a now-old theme" /></p>
<p>there was something about this template that felt extremely incomplete and simply too minimalist. i knew adding box shadows would help, but i really wanted to add something special that would have folks who know my work think "this is <em>extremely</em> jenn schiffer." i think i captured that with the latest template:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624753646100480000_1.jpg" alt="screenshot of livelaughblog with a new theme" /></p>
<p>now, you probably won't see a pixel butt on your screen. you'd have to draw one yourself, which you can do because behind the content of this blog is a graph paper drawing app. what fun! if you want to play with an isolated version of the app, <a href="http://grafpaper.glitch.me/">check out my original app, grafpaper</a>. i have plenty of these drawing apps that i'd like to incorporate into the backgrounds of other sites i own.</p>
<p>i hope you enjoy the site design, and that you'll let me know if you encounter any buggies. i shan't promise that i won't make a new template again soon – i took this week off of work so i would not have to work, so i have some extra time to rip more stuff up.</p>
<p>xoxo j</p>
finally, a classic smoky eye tutorial that works for my down-turned, hooded eyes2020-07-26T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/finally-a-classic-smoky-eye-tutorial-that-works-for-my-down-turned-hooded-eyes/<p>compared to my lifestyle blogging peers, i am fairly new to “makeup,” but i’ve been having lots of fun with it over the quarantine, both by putting it on and also watching how other folks put it on. it’s truly an art form and a great medium for creative expression. but there are so many different kinds of faces that it's hard to find an eye look that works for me.</p>
<p>i have down-turned eyes which are kind of hooded. little boys with big typing hands often comment on videos of my conference talks remarking how i look high, which by the wayyyy i’ve never done a conference talk while high, only hung-over. anyway i love my eyes. they are sunken in, i know, but they’re not yours, they are my own. it’s just hard as hell to do a classic smoky eye!</p>
<p>after minutes of searching this weekend, though, i finally found a tutorial for a smoky eye that not only works for my eyes, but i think would be universally flattering on everyone who tries it. i’ll show you how it’s done.</p>
<p><strong>step one: start with a clean face</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_0.jpg" alt="a photo of me, clean faced" /></p>
<p>after i went out for an iced coffee, i came home and washed my face and did my usual morning serums and moisturizer. i’ll talk about my skincare regime in a future post, as i’m still experimenting. half of the reason i am glowing here is because i was still sweating (it’s like 95 F here)</p>
<p>by the way, welcome to my bedroom. i recently moved my workout clothes dresser, which doubles as my vanity, into here. this makeup tutorial is chaotic because taking photos and holding a mirror at the same time is impossible, but i figured out how to get around that:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_1.jpg" alt="photo of my vanity showing my mirror is positioned inside an open drawer" /></p>
<p><strong>step two: lay the foundation of your face</strong></p>
<p>this is my daily “foundation” which doesn’t actually include foundation. i use the <a href="https://tartecosmetics.com/shop/makeup/face/bb-cc/bb-tinted-treatment-primer-broad-spectrum-spf-30/373.html">tarte bb tinted primer</a>, spot conceal with the <a href="https://kosas.com/products/revealer-concealer-tone-02">kosas revealer concealer</a> if necessary, and then use the <a href="https://supergoop.com/products/daily-correct-cc-cream">supergoop daily correct cc cream</a> (i try to get as much spf into my skincare as possible).</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_2.jpg" alt="a photo of the above products on my wooden dresser" /></p>
<p>i set the face with the <a href="https://www.fentybeauty.com/pro-filtr-instant-retouch-setting-powder/FB30011.html">fenty instant setting powder in lavender</a> and apply some lip gloss. for this eye look, i don’t need to worry about concealing my under-eye circles or brushing my eyebrows, but i do usually do that daily. i don’t know how to contour, or drive a car.</p>
<p>here’s my face, ready for smoky eyes:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_3.jpg" alt="close up of my clean, primed face" /></p>
<p><strong>step 3: draw on the smoky eyes</strong></p>
<p>the tutorial says to use black grease paint, but i didn’t have any, so i primed the eyes and used black eyeliner to circle the eyes and draw them in.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_4.jpg" alt="me with my eyes colored black all around like alice cooper and i'm holding up my eyeliner" /></p>
<p>to fill it in and get a really rich, smoky look i set the eyeliner with the black from this <a href="https://www.bhcosmetics.com/products/take-me-back-to-brazil-35-color-pressed-pigment-palette">bh cosmetics take me back to brazil palette</a> that i bought in berlin last year.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_5.jpg" alt="me holding up a rainbow eyeshadow palette and pointing the brush at the black pan" /></p>
<p>then i went back to the eyeliner to draw lines coming out of my eyes. i feel like this draws attention to both the eyes and my cheekbones.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_6.jpg" alt="me with a few lines drawn out of my eye circles using the eyeliner" /></p>
<p><strong>step 4: line the mouth</strong></p>
<p>in order to pull off a dramatic smoky eye, you really need to balance the rest of the makeup you use. i’m not going to put anything on my lips except a clear balm, but i’m going to balance that with some lines coming down from the corners of my lips. this wasn’t my idea, i got it from the same tutorial.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_7.jpg" alt="me looking into a mirror menacingly with lines of black coming down from the side of my mouth" /></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_8.jpg" alt="a wikihow illustration that my above menacing photo is parodying" /></p>
<p><strong>step 5: finish the look with a setting spray and see what the cat thinks</strong></p>
<p>i use <a href="https://supergoop.com/products/defense-refresh-setting-mist-spf-50">supergoop’s defense refresh (re)setting mist</a> to set the look (and throughout the day to refresh my spf). then i wake up pumagreg from his sun-soaking nap to see what he thinks.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_9.jpg" alt="me behind pumagreg, a black cat, and he's looking back at me" /></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624912082053251072_10.jpg" alt="a photo of a few seconds after the previous photo except pumagreg is now kissing my hand" /></p>
<p>pumagreg approves.</p>
<p>i really like how this look came out, and the lip lining kept up really well after i ate some roasted broccoli and chickpeas for lunch. if you want to try this look out for yourself, you can <a href="https://www.wikihow.com/Do-Alice-Cooper-Makeup">find the original tutorial here on wikihow</a>. i would love to see how it turns out for you!</p>
<p>xoxo j</p>
celery soda for adults (real grown ups only!)2020-07-19T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/celery-soda-for-adults-real-grown-ups-only/<p>when i was a junior in high school, linkin park's hybrid theory was popular and i was a low income, straight edge, nerdy jock, so you probably could <em>never</em> imagine the kind of lunch table i sat at. one of the folks who sat near me was a kid who i’ll call cb for ”celery boy” which will make sense in two sentences, trust me. cb was both a senior and the first person i ever met who was unapologetically queer, making him the only "grown up” i trusted. he would occasionally bring in a can of celery soda in for lunch and everyone would be grossed out, but then he'd let me have a sip and it was such a treat! the drinks in the fridge at home were always so sugary - coca cola, kool-aid, tropicana orange juice, TANG - which i loved but also i was a ~female varsity athlete~ so i was always concerned about what i was consuming regularly. celery soda wasn't necessarily healthy, but it felt and sounded healthy and grown up, and that's what i wanted to be!</p>
<p>i had compartmentalized the memory of celery soda until a couple of months ago when i hit one year of sobriety. the past year had been a journey of replacing cocktails with mocktails, essentially fancy and professionally crafted sodas. drinking a mocktail allowed me the dignity of feeling grown up and tricked others around me at tech events into thinking i'm "normal" like them, allowing me to avoid repeatedly giving the "why i'm not drinking" monologue to every stranger making lazy and nosy small talk.</p>
<p>while quarantine makes it easy to avoid work and networking events with flowing alcohol, i still wanted to feel grown up and so i tried my hand at celery soda. most recipes for the syrup i found online were too sugary or had spices i don't have (celery seed? in <em>this</em> economy?) so i truly was running an experiment here and i love how it came out.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624116521195700224_0.jpg" alt="a pot full of the following ingredients, everything is green" /></p>
<p>in a saucepan i brought the following to a boil and stirred for a few minutes.</p>
<ul>
<li>1 1/2 cups of water</li>
<li>4 stalks of celery, chopped</li>
<li>5 tbsp raw sugar</li>
<li>1 lime, quartered</li>
<li>1 sprig of fresh parsley, chopped</li>
</ul>
<p>i took the pot off of heat and let it sit, covered, for an hour. then i strained it into a mason jar. it smelled really good and looked like piss.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624116521195700224_1.jpg" alt="a mason jar full of syrup that's piss colored being held up" /></p>
<p>similar recipes online say that this syrup can hold for two weeks in the fridge. i added a couple of tablespoons to a glass and added seltzer water, ice, and a quarter of lime because i'm a healthy grown up.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/624116521195700224_2.jpg" alt="a mason jar with a fizzy drink and lime on a brown kitchen table" /></p>
<p>it was as refreshing and sophisticated as i remember nearly 20 years ago. also, my satellite radio started playing a linkin park song as soon as i poured it??? stream “hybrid theory”!</p>
<p>xoxo j</p>
rating some of my favorite photos of me, except they were augmented by my friend gianni to have weird smiles2020-07-13T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/rating-favorite-photos-of-me-augmented-by-gianni/<p>one of my favorite things about lifestyle blogging is the <s><em>collaboration</em></s> and with this post i’m kicking off my first one with one of my dearest friends, <a href="https://twitter.com/gf3">gianni</a>. one of his best gags is taking any photo you post online and texting you a version with a huge scary smile. it’s horrifying and absolutely uncalled for.</p>
<p>last night i called for it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_0.jpg" alt="imessage convo of me asking "If I send you some professional photos of me can you run that weird smile filter you love through them and I’ll review them for my blog?" and him saying "it would be my pleasure"" /></p>
<p>tonight, i am sharing and rating 6 of my favorite photos of myself and his machine-learned smile augmentations.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_1.jpg" alt="a selfie of me in a pink elevator looking cool, and next to it the same photo but i'm smiling weirdly" /></p>
<p>here i am in a cool pink elevator in a berlin hotel a couple of years ago. i just look super cool drenched in pink. the smile is so weird but if you've never seen me smile ever i guess it could pass.</p>
<p><strong>6/10</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_2.jpg" alt="a photo of me looking down and smiling in an office, and next to it the same photo but my eyes are closed and my smile is weird and in a different lip color lol" /></p>
<p>i was already smiling in this photo, so he made my eyes and mouth closed and with a berry lip for some reason. disgusting.</p>
<p><strong>8/10</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_3.jpg" alt="photo of me looking nice at an event, and next to it the same photo but i'm smiling weirdly" /></p>
<p>this is a very nice photo of me taken by <a href="https://twitter.com/thatarin">arin sang-urai</a> at an event. this probably wasn't hard for the app gianni uses to generate and i can see my smile being pretty close to that.</p>
<p><strong>9/10</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_4.jpg" alt="photo of me in my kitchen looking cool, and next to it the same photo but i'm smiling weirdly" /></p>
<p>this was a cool selfie i took in my kitchen and gianni made it look like a completely different person and also changed my hair color?</p>
<p><strong>2/10</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_5.jpg" alt="photo of me at age 4 in a church looking pissed, and next to it the same photo but i'm smiling weirdly" /></p>
<p>this photo was taken after i was baptized. it's a long story and this photo is absolutely terrifying.</p>
<p><strong>10/10</strong></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623574598730088448_6.jpg" alt="photo of me wearing a white sheet mask, and next to it the same photo but i'm smiling weirdly and have a beard" /></p>
<p>gianni said "also for one of these i mixed our faces. it’s rough"</p>
<p><strong>-100/10</strong></p>
<p>shouts out to gianni for collaborating with me - make sure to <a href="https://twitter.com/@gf3">follow @gf3 on twitter</a> if you're looking for a terrible time.</p>
<p><strong>do you have cool ideas for future collabs? leave them in the new comments section below!</strong> i am very excited to engage with you all, expand my live laugh brand awareness cross-platform, and never smile again.</p>
<p>xoxo j</p>
the first ever live laugh conf was both two weeks ago and a huge success2020-07-12T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/the-first-live-laugh-conf-was-two-weeks-ago/<p>we did it, pals: on june 30th we launched a blog together and raised over $10,000 united states dollars for the <a href="https://www.wpaonline.org/">women’s prison association</a>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/623482431373246464_0.jpg" alt="screenshot of the donation page showing we raised $10,874.69" /></p>
<p>if you’re wondering what the hell i’m talking about, well, <em>it's complicated</em>. i started this here blog in a very extra way and wanted to celebrate it's launch similarly. so i invited several friends to submit 5 minute lightning talks about anything that isn't work related, and they did! and then i asked friends and followers to join me during a live stream of me emceeing those talks, and you did!</p>
<p>well, <em>maybe</em> you did. if you didn't, you can watch the whole thing here:</p>
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/L2dhx1bSmsU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe>
<p>let's do a mini retrospective together, yes?</p>
<p><strong>was the event a success?</strong></p>
<p>yes, 100%. these were my goals and we knocked it out of the park:</p>
<ul>
<li>my goal was to hit the $10,000 campaign goal, and we did at just the right moment of the event, too! and i got to show off my cheap disco ball light becasue we hit the goal. and it worked! now i must protect it forever since it's now officially <em>live laugh canon</em>.</li>
<li>i wanted to start building a community around non-tech topics using tech community building tactics, as that's what i know best! the speakers really came through, some even surprising themselves - which is what a big part of the <em>live laugh mentality</em> is: being creative and surprising in positive ways. the event chat also was lively and friendly, and i really had a fun time revisiting it the next day (as i couldn't pay a lot of attention during the stream).</li>
<li>my internet connection was :chef's kiss: <em>stellar</em>. it was probably the thing i was most terrified about, but my 28 foot ethernet cable (even though i was 4 feet from the router) really came through.</li>
<li>folks actually used <a href="https://llc-photobooth.glitch.me/">my extremely rushed photobooth app</a> to post on social using the <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=%23livelaughconf&src=typed_query&f=live">#livelaughconf hashtag</a>. it was especially fun to see folks actually engaging with it, because i really threw that together super last minute as a manifestation of my pre-event nervous energy.</li>
</ul>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/llconf.gif" alt="a 4 panel photo booth gif of me for livelaugh conf" /></p>
<p>my last minute rush of stuff like that also falls into, and is the theme of, the next section:</p>
<p><strong>what could i improve</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>my equipment setup was amateur and, again, rushed! i was using a usb mic that's meant to be clipped to my computer but i couldn't get the sound loud enough unless i held it like a hand mic. i also used my macbook camera, which got the job done, but having an external camera would have been extremely convenient.</li>
<li>i need to practice using streaming software more - i didn't realize i was muted at one point, and i forgot to use all the cool drops that chris bannon, one of the speakers, had given me. it was my first time doing a livestream with <a href="https://obsproject.com/">obs</a>, so i know with more practice i'll have a better handle on those controls and feel/look more natural</li>
<li>with better planning and more time (and a million dollars while i'm listing things i'll never have lmao), i would love to explore doing live q&as with speakers. i don't want to fly too close to the sun, but it's a goal for a future event!</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>thank you over 10,000 times to everyone involved!</strong></p>
<p>i'm really excited to come up with and execute other fun things, including future livelaughconfs. i must admit, though, that with livelaughconf and this retrospective post now done, it will be nice to go back to simply livelaughblogging. get used to me prefixing everything with "live laugh" - it's called <em>brand identity</em>, love.</p>
<p>xoxo j$</p>
ayyy i‘m walking (more) here!!2020-07-06T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/ayyy-i-am-walking-more-here/<p>i’ve been on this journey over the past month or so to recreate routines so i can get back into them and adapt to this pandemic vs. wait for a “normal” that’s not gonna happen. some of the routines i’ve already got locked down are:</p>
<ul>
<li>working from home <em>comfortably</em></li>
<li>following a morning and evening skincare regimen</li>
<li>wearing spf</li>
<li>drinking water</li>
</ul>
<p>the “drinking water” routine is fairly new. as i stopped going to the gym i stopped drinking water and this only occurred to me like last week! so, yeah, until 1.5 weeks ago when i started a hydration routine, i was just a shriveled up raisin with good skin (because of my skincare and spf regimens, which kind of are not complete without the hydration part of the equation, whoops).</p>
<p>there are a few other routines that the quarantine stopped in its tracks and that i’m working to adapt this month:</p>
<ul>
<li>going for walks</li>
<li>weight training at home</li>
<li>reading books</li>
<li>drawing/painting</li>
</ul>
<p>this weekend i decided to go for an hour (at least) long walk every day, weather permitting. here is the health app’s chart of my steps over the past year, which tells a tale as old as covid-19-time:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622927472575627264_0.jpg" alt="bar chart showing that i walked a significantly higher number of steps before the quarantine" /></p>
<p>as you can see in that chart, i used to walking a LOT! but i’m also very easily bored, i hate the sun and wear mostly black, so a lot of that walking was for the purpose of getting somewhere (work, therapy, andy’s, coffeeshop, gym). the purpose i’ve been giving myself this week is to get that bar chart up to where it was in the winter and to photograph neighbors’ cool flowers for me to draw and paint.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622927472575627264_1.jpg" alt="a photo of some red, yellow and orange flowers" /></p>
<p>while wearing a mask in 90 F heat can seem p brutal, it’s not so bad as spreading a virus and/or getting sick. i look <em>extremely</em> hot (temperate-wise and boner-inducing-wise) with my mask on, and i gladly embrace the mouth sauna these <em>unprecedented times</em> have bestowed upon me by putting on an <a href="https://www.bitebeauty.com/agave--intensive-lip-mask/BB20007.html?dwvar_BB20007_color=BB1112">intense lip mask</a> before i head out. you can peek my latest gel manicure i had given myself that afternoon:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622927472575627264_2.jpg" alt="a photo of me outside with a black mask on, gray t-shirt and black nails freshly painted" /></p>
<p>the problem with depending on “the outdoors” for exercise instead of gyms is that i can only partake in walks when it’s not thunder and lightning outside (as it literally is as i type this). i did get a short walk to the cafe in before the storm started, then i noticed <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1280222688104112128">some asshole stole our tomatoes</a>. thrilling!</p>
<p>RIP my large, not quite rip son.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622927472575627264_3.jpg" alt="photo of me holding up a not-quite-ripe tomato on a plant" /></p>
<p>if you’re routine/streak-driven like me, try to list all of the things that you stopped doing because of the pandemic and <strong>pick one thing at a time to get back on track</strong>. a very good start is to make sure you’re staying hydrated and applying an spf; they are low effort routines with high impact for your health and state of being. take care of yourselves, friends!</p>
<p>xoxo j</p>
3 quick and healthy dishes i make when my last meeting went 20 minutes into lunch and my next meeting is in 40 minutes2020-07-01T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/3-quick-healthy-dishes-i-make-when-my-last-meeting-went-late.html<p>tuesday night was <a href="http://livelaugh.blog/conf">livelaughconf</a> (which i’ll write all about later this week) but today it was <em><s><em>back to work</em></s></em> and i was wondering,</p>
<blockquote>
<p>do
you ever find yourself in a meeting that has run long (about 20
minutes) into your lunch time, and you're hungry but your next meeting
is in 40 minutes?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>we live for the thrill!</p>
<p>here are a few quick and healthy dishes i often turn to for fuel to hold me over. they're not fancy, they're only a few ingredients, and they make me feel a hell of a lot better than trying to make it through another hour on zoom without food in me.</p>
<p><strong>roasted carrots and broccoli</strong>
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622490993216946176_0.jpg" alt="bowl of roasted carrots and broccoli" /></p>
<p>roasted
vegetables can get very boring, sure, but you can literally and
figuratively spice things up in different ways and, again, this is just
to hold you over during a busy noon. set your oven to 450 degrees
Farrahfawcett, wash a couple of carrots and a broccoli crown. <strong>peel the carrots, break up the broccoli</strong>, and lay them in a pan. pour <strong>a little bit of olive oil and salt</strong> over everything and toss around lightly with your chafed-from-all-the-washing hands.</p>
<p>i like to put a ton of <strong>black pepper</strong> over the carrots and squeeze** lemon juice **over the broccoli. then i put in the oven for 20 minutes and forget to let them cool but it's okay <em>my mouth is made of leather this point</em>.</p>
<p><strong>sauteed kale parmesan</strong>
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622490993216946176_1.jpg" alt="bowl of sauteed kale" /></p>
<p>carl sagan once said that "<em>imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were, but without it we go nowhere.</em>"
and he was talking about the day i started my stove up to make spinach
but then discovered that i was only imagining i had spinach; in reality
it was kale. up until that point i had always eaten it cold or
dehydrated them to make kale chips.</p>
<p>put about <strong>a half cup of water and a few pinches of salt</strong> into a saucepan on medium heat and throw in some <strong>washed kale</strong>. stir until the kale gets tender and the water evaporates (add more water if needed). pour **a little bit of oil **into the pan when the water's evaporated and saute for a few minutes. put into a bowl and cover with <strong>grated parmesan cheese</strong>. my favorite vegan grated parmesan is <a href="https://store.veganessentials.com/follow-your-heart-grated-parmesan-style-cheese-shaker-bottle-p4752.aspx">follow your heart</a>.</p>
<p><strong>sausage, peppers and onions</strong>
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/622490993216946176_2.jpg" alt="bowl of sausage, peppers and onions" /></p>
<p>vegan sausages are more junk than health food but they're high in protein and, honestly, if eating <a href="https://store.veganessentials.com/tofurky-original-sausages---kielbasa-p6067.aspx">vegan kielbasa</a>
for lunch is what kills me, i'll take that over being run over by a
self-driving car literally any day of the week. this is my journey.</p>
<p>put some <strong>oil in a pan</strong> on medium heat. slice up <strong>sausages</strong> of your choice (this week i had a kielbasa left), and cut up <strong>half a yellow onion</strong> and a <strong>green bell pepper</strong>.
throw onion in the pan and when they start to get translucent add the
pepper and the sausages. this is a good time to throw any spices that
complement the sausage in - i often turn to <strong>onion powder, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper</strong>.
make sure to cook both sides of the sausage slices. when they're cooked
to your desire, usually just a few minutes, take off the heat.</p>
<p>you
can eat off a plate like you're some kind of duchess, or put on a roll.
if you're going with kielbasa, make sure to add plenty of <strong>spicy brown mustard</strong> like you would with the real stuff.</p>
<p>try not to go into meetings hungry, and eat your goddamn vegetables!
xoxo jenn</p>
here is the latest on "candles"2020-06-21T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/here-is-the-latest-on-candles/<p>my buddy <a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/p_arithmetic">nick</a> messaged me on twitter today asking if i’m into candles. friends, <strong>i’m into anything that is on fire on purpose</strong>.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/621584268524732416_0.jpg" alt="twitter dm conversation where nick says "why are you not blogging about thisssss, as a professional life style blogger i trust your opinions and look to you for guidance" and i respond "i" /></p>
<p>when it comes to candles, if it smells like a cemetery or field hockey practice in central jersey, i simply must have it. unless it’s over $50, or not vegan.</p>
<p>i go mostly for performance over aesthetic – my apartment is usually dark or drenched in neon, and i have a cat who literally runs this place, so i don’t try to invest in fancy candle holders. that being said, i don’t (live laugh) tolerate corny phrases or weird shit on the candles, no matter what etsy seems to think.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/621584268524732416_1.jpg" alt="etsy search results page for "grass candle" and the first result is a candle that says "epstein didn" /></p>
<p>typically i’ll have 3 candles in rotation, one for each possible state you will find me at any given moment: working, cleaning, and being horny. let’s go over this season’s rotation:</p>
<p><em>note: none of the links below are affiliate links, not that i think that matters - i just see bloggers saying stuff like that all the time and i’m just trying to fit in. i wish they were affiliate links and that yankee candle would make me a paid influencer, ok back to the list,,,,,,</em></p>
<p><strong>working</strong></p>
<p><a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/660393625/palo-santo-patchouli-candle-scented">palo santo patchouli, by chinesha’s closet</a></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/621584268524732416_2.jpg" alt="a white candle in a glass jar with black lid sitting on a wooden cylinder for show" /></p>
<p>i am an indoor cat, but i like to bring the outdoors into my working space with, what i call, working candles. the scents i’m into right now are palo santo and patchouli, and this 100% soy scented “palo santo patchouli” candle has literally both of those in its name.</p>
<p><strong>cleaning</strong></p>
<p><a href="https://www.mrsmeyers.com/product/air-freshener/candle/large-candle-lavender/">mrs. meyer’s clean day lavender</a></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/621584268524732416_3.jpg" alt="white candle in glass container and black lid and nothing else" /></p>
<p>there are two rules for cleaning candles: they have to smell like, and be sold along with, household cleaning supplies. i had a sort of toxic friend in college who hated lavender and so i learned to love it, especially for cleaning scents. having a cleaning candle burning really motivates me to keep cleaning, like the scent hitting me immediately already makes me feel like i’ve made progress before i even started.</p>
<p><strong>being horny</strong></p>
<p><a href="https://www.yankeecandle.com/product/midsummers-night/_/R-115174">midsummer’s night, by yankee candle</a></p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/621584268524732416_4.jpg" alt="a black candle in glass with glass lid sitting on a slice of tree trunk and surrounded by moss and leaves" /></p>
<p>midsummer’s night, a true iconoclast! this has been my official candle for being horny for at least 5 years. it comes in a wide variety of form factors and, despite being a yankee candle, is hella goth. described as “an intoxicating and masculine blend of musk, patchouli, sage and mahogany cologne,” much like myself, it’s basically the smell of a really hot person who showered before coming to see you. the only problem with this candle is that it looks a bit too much like a mason jar full of diet cola, which is kind of risky in my household.</p>
<p>i’ll update you on future rotations as they change. if you have candle recommendations, i would love to hear them and pass them onto nick! you can dm me on <a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer">twitter</a> or <a href="mailto:jenn@dotbiz.info">send me an email</a>.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
how is this for "aesthetic"2020-06-16T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/how-is-this-for-aesthetic/<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/621108839394181120_0.jpg" alt="a photo of art on the wall in my kitchen" /></p>
<p>over the weekend i did some gel nail art for the first time! to show it off, i’m taking a detour from my usual <a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Invisible%20Handjob">invisible-handjob</a> manicure pose and instead including a little slice of my kitchen–which doubles as my “day office.”</p>
<p>this photo has all of the essentials:</p>
<ul>
<li>
<p>a tooth pick with a pink skull on it</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>two instax mini photos, one of pumagreg and the other of andy and i hanging out in a cemetery</p>
</li>
<li>
<p>a print by one of my favorite artists, <a href="https://www.lauracallaghanillustration.com/">laura callaghan</a></p>
</li>
<li>
<p>my left hand, freshly manicured by yours truly</p>
</li>
</ul>
<p>happy friday!! jk it’s tuesday</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
shocking: cursed woman makes cursed spaghetti and "meatballs"2020-06-14T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/shocking-cursed-woman-makes-cursed-spaghetti-meatballs/<p>this is the tale of my cursed spaghetti and meatballs.</p>
<p>i cannot eat beyond or impossible brand “meats” because they are made with coconut oil and one of my personality traits is that coconut makes me red, itchy, and unable to breathe (and they say superheroes don’t exist!). but a few weeks ago i found this brand, the meatless farm co, who makes ground beef without coconut oil, so i grabbed a package of it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_0.jpg" alt="package of ground vegan meat" /></p>
<p>then, while putting it into my freezer, i remembered that i didn’t even like ground beef when i wasn’t vegan, so it sat in said freezer, untouched, until last night when i decided to make spaghetti and meatballs.</p>
<p><strong>please enjoy my recipe for Cursed Spaghetti And Meatballs™</strong></p>
<p>it’s cool that fake ground beef is not made of real ground beef, but that doesn’t make the fake meat look any more appetizing to handle. also, like, what if they used real meat just to fuck with us? after about 5 minutes of pacing back and forth as i came to terms with this <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley">uncanny valley</a> of fake flesh, i finally put half the package in a bowl and added the following wet things:</p>
<ul>
<li>3 shishito peppers chopped (i wish i had jalapeno though)</li>
<li>¼ large white onion, chopped</li>
<li>a few leaves of fresh basil, chopped</li>
<li>some minced garlic</li>
<li>a couple of tablespoons of soy sauce and olive oil</li>
</ul>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_1.jpg" alt="photo of meatball ingredients mixed up" /></p>
<p>and then my attention deficit hit. i was cooking while music was playing AND i was watching youtube videos of people making hats for their little frogs and, once i snapped out of it, all of the other ingredients i had added were on my cursed kitchen table, lined up around a new round stain which i caused with a hot bowl of chili earlier this week.</p>
<ul>
<li>freshly ground salt and pepper</li>
<li>parsley</li>
<li>garlic powder</li>
<li>onion powder</li>
<li>oregano</li>
</ul>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_2.jpg" alt="photo of a bunch of spices lined up on a table in a circle" /></p>
<p>speaking of “round,” i rolled up the meatballs with my hands, oiled a pan and threw them in the oven at 425 degrees - not because the box or literally anyone told me to do that - it just felt right.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_3.jpg" alt="photo of meatballs on a baking sheet before cooking" /></p>
<p>with the meatballs in the oven, it was time for me to make my “it gets the job done” sauce. i threw another ¼ chopped white onion and some minced garlic into a saucepan with oil and, once the onion was browning, i poured in a whole can of what i thought was crushed tomatoes but NO it was a can of cherry tomatoes.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_4.jpg" alt="a pot of meatballs covered in sauce" /></p>
<p>this was the first time i put my head in my hands. this wasn’t a disaster, though, because i figured i could just throw it in a blender when it was done cooking. upon releasing my head from my large hands’ grasp, back in went my head when i realized that i forgot to use an egg replacer and vegan parmesan in the meatballs.</p>
<p>a dramatized reenactment:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_5.jpg" alt="me with my head in my hands because i'm distressed" /></p>
<p>it’s just food, though, and i was the only one who was going to eat it. after 20 minutes in the oven, with 2 times using tongs to move the meatballs around, they were ready and they looked exactly how you would expect them to: cursed, but edible looking. it’s a good thing i didn’t opt to fry them up, they would have crumbled to dust without that faux egg as a binder.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_6.jpg" alt="baking sheet of baked, dry meatballs" /></p>
<p>back to my sauce: i added the dry basil and green pepper cholula from the above “spices of the round-stained table” and then threw some gluten free spaghetti in a pot to boil. i am not on a gluten free diet, it’s just that (as you can tell from the canned tomato incident) my brain refuses to read the packaging of things i buy. this ineptitude, given my allergies, will probably kill me.</p>
<p><em>live laugh anaphylaxis!</em></p>
<p>when the spaghetti had a minute left to go, i drained it and saved about a quarter cup of the pasta water. i then put it back in the pot with the saved water and a bunch of sauce on heat so it can emulsify. oh, and before that, i had blended the sauce to smooth out the cherry tomato skins:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_7.jpg" alt="smooth sauce in a pot" /></p>
<p>when plated altogether, it looked like regular not-cursed spaghetti and meatballs! it was all actually really good and, perhaps, worth the strife.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_8.jpg" alt="a plate with spaghetti, meatballs, and sauce" /></p>
<p>here’s a broken meatball zoomed in for texture:</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620949452180668416_9.jpg" alt="a meatball cut in half to show texture" /></p>
<p>i could have chopped the shishito peppers better, but honestly i could have done a lot of things better during this absolute clown show.</p>
<p>i am eating the leftovers as i write this, and the fake meatballs reheated pretty well! i’ve only paused editing this twice (two (2) times) to put my head in my hands. if i had a chance to do this again (i mean, i do - i only used half the meat), i would probably change everything!</p>
<p>i think i’m going to use the rest of the meat to make stuffed bell peppers. one way to help me try to lift the curse so those come out way better is to <strong><a href="https://wpaonline.org/">donate to the women's prison association</a></strong>. wpa advocates for alternatives to incarceration and supports women in all stages of the criminal “justice” system in nyc. i’ve been on their junior board for a couple of years, now, and am proud to bring awareness and your money to this cause and important work. live laugh love y’all!</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
lizzo told us to fry oyster mushrooms so i did2020-06-07T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/lizzo-told-us-to-fry-oyster-mushrooms-so-i-did/<p>"hey so i’m eating my feelings because the world continues to let me down" says lizzo as she begins a tiktok of her cooking up some vegan comfort food. i love lizzo and i love reminding people that i caught one of the bouquets of flowers she and her dancers threw into the audience at her 2016 xoxo festival performance, which technically means we are married. look at us, just two hot and talented vegans!</p>
<p>seriously, though, she's been posting a lot of really great vegan meals she's been cooking her herself during the p<em>nd</em>m*c. i'm very jealous of her garden and also i used to play flute in elementary school but never was good at it (my teacher blamed my house-sized hands). what CAN'T she do?</p>
<p>anyway today i fried up oyster mushrooms too...
<img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/620298672936239104_0.jpg" alt="a photo of fried oyster mushrooms" /></p>
<p>like most folks who do cooking tutorials on tiktok, lizzo kept it realistic and did not give specific measurements. measuring is for the weak, well-adjusted and compensated! here are some instructions:</p>
<ol>
<li>pull the mushrooms into smaller baby wing sized pieces</li>
<li>cover them in some dry flour and seasoning mixture. today i did all purpose flour with sriracha seasoning, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, and paprika</li>
<li>dip them in a wet mixture. today i did one part unsweetened almond milk and one part just egg™</li>
<li>dip them back in the flour</li>
<li>heat up a pan of oil, get it hella hot and fry those mushroom pieces until they're golden brown</li>
<li>when done, place them on a towel to soak up the excess oil and cool a little</li>
</ol>
<p>i plated and then covered them in cholula™ and vegan caesar dressing. i also added a side of cooked spinach because even lizzo says to take a break to eat something healthy!</p>
<p>it must be said, the food does not look cute, but it got the job i needed it to do done:_ comfort and spice me. _i’m wishing much comfort and spice to all my friends (and future friends) taking part in actions across the nation to let everyone know that black lives matter.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>
<p>if you like fried foods and/or any of the words that i wrote here, individual or put together in various phrases and sentences, then <strong><a href="https://www.wpaonline.org/">i encourage you to donate to the womens prison association</a></strong> the wpa is based in nyc and provides trauma-informed support to women in all stages of criminal "justice” involvement.</p>
6 very important things that had been sitting in my work bag since before the quarantine2020-05-31T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/6-important-things-in-my-work-bag-before-quarantine/<p>it feels like both 5 years <em>and</em> 5 hours ago since my job went from partially to 100% remote in response to the covid-19 pandemic. after my last day in the office, i came home and dropped my work bag to the side like i did every night and that’s where it remained, basically untouched, for about two months. i would like to share with you the six (6) most important things i found when i finally cleaned it out.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/619661608681111552_0.jpg" alt="the items listed in this post, organized neatly on a wooden table" /></p>
<p>going clockwise from the top:</p>
<ol>
<li>a builders protein bar (chocolate peanut butter flavor) which is a great vegan source of protein and sweets. i always keep something like this in my bag in case i get stuck during my commute and hungry. i likely won’t be getting stuck in a commute anytime soon so i’m now eating said protein bar as i write this.</li>
<li>a $50 gift card from a very fancy restaurant that my partner andy took me to for my birthday. even though i told them over phone, text <em>and</em> in person about my coconut allergy, they still served me a dessert with coconut in it. i will say that when they realized the mistake, they handled it extremely well (they even comp'ed our mocktails). i would most definitely go back if they survive the shutdown.</li>
<li>a pair of indian runner duck earrings from <a href="https://cardboardreality.ca/">cardboard reality</a>, a shop run by a couple of artists/farmers in ontario. andy got me these and some of their pins after i started becoming obsessed with indian runner ducks. i plan to repurpose them as pins, because as earrings they’re not quite my style (andy knew this would be the case).</li>
<li>a foursquare pen that i got from their booth at a twilio product conference in 2017. i wanted to become friends with the foursquare folks, so i had left some glitch stickers and a note for them for when they got back from their break. as soon as i walked away, though, i saw some conference attendee go to the booth and steal all of the stickers! it’s been three years and i’m still seething!!</li>
<li>a $5 coupon from my local indie bookstore, <a href="https://www.wordbookstores.com/">word</a>. this bookstore rules and i cannot wait to be able to go back and look at all the pretty notebooks and pens even though i have more than enough at home.</li>
<li>a whole coffee bean, thrilling!</li>
</ol>
<p>of course there were more things in my bag, like my umbrella and a variety of drugstore lip glosses that never really got the job done, but this post is about the <em>important</em> things.</p>
<p>take care of yourselves,
xoxo jenn</p>
hello world2020-05-31T00:00:00Zhttps://livelaugh.blog/posts/hello-world/<blockquote>
<p>"what if i become a lifestyle blogger"
—<a href="https://twitter.com/jennschiffer/status/1253354908566380544?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">some very hot person</a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>two months into the coronavirus shutdown, i took a week off of work to cool off from burnout and try to rediscover a means of creative expression that isn't tied to my job; normals would call this "finding a hobby".</p>
<h4>i became a lifestyle blogger.</h4>
<p>many folks who know of my work already were introduced to me through my writing, be it my tech satire or my conference talks. a couple of years ago i stepped back from that in an attempt to balance life and work and performance. then i, as one does, finally found the grave of my mother, went a bit too hard on the alcohol, got sober, went vegan again and then recently found myself sheltered in place alone and surrounded by all my things that i once used to express myself (art supplies, computers, paper, etc). it only made sense to go back to the basics, but be extremely extra about it.</p>
<p><img src="https://cdn.glitch.global/ae51c3b2-4b07-4a8c-afd4-99218c3b4e35/619661584755785728_0.jpg" alt="a wall with turquoise and silver streamers with balloon letters spelling BLOG? over them" /></p>
<p>so livelaughblog is my new hobby; a personal blog where i'm going to write again about whatever i feel like. and i'm going to take it both seriously and not seriously, as i always have done with the tools made available to me by the internet. all i need from you, dear reader, is to share my work with all the cool, kind people you know and to <a href="https://wpaonline.org/">give where/what you can to those who need it</a>.</p>
<p>that's all! i mean, i <em>did</em> tell some of y'all that the hype i was creating for this blog wouldn't be worth it! anyway, while you're here, <a href="https://livelaugh.blog/posts/6-important-things-in-my-work-bag-before-quarantine/">here's an exploration of the time capsule that was my work bag from before the statewide shutdown</a>.</p>
<p>xoxo jenn</p>