live laugh blog 👽

grade school entrepreneur

i was just watching emma chamberlain tell some childhood stories and early into it she talked about under-the-table selling stickers and erasers to classmates when she was a little kid and it feeling drug-dealery. i basically had the same experience.

the first time i ever got in trouble in elementary school was in 4th grade because i was caught selling shavings of crayola magic scent crayons. these were scented crayons but i swear on my fucking soul some of them event tasted like the scent - especially the bubblegum one. i'd shave the crayon and sell the shavings for 5 cents a curl.

my teacher told me to stop selling crayon shavings because it's not allowed. to just be told i did something bad was punishment enough, honestly. naturally, i interpreted my crime as being "getting paid to have kids chew crayon shavings" part, not simply the "selling things" part, i pivoted to selling comic strips. i'd draw 3-panel comics about a heroic, crime-fighting shrimp named after my classmate andrew in a beautiful notebook (i'll get back to that) like a dozen times and then fold the paper to rip them apart. this was the first time i ever got detention.

elementary school detention ruled but let me tell you about that beautiful notebook. the notebook was fine. it just wasn't from the local grocery store, which made it fancy and rich to me. it was merely a large spiral notebook with brass hardware with a cover thicker than the normal spiral notebook. i think a neighbor gave it to me; at this time i had no fewer than 3 best friends who each were old women who lived in or across our apartment building. those women never betrayed me the way i felt that my 4th grade teacher did by punishing me for and stifling my entrepreneurial spirit. jk, [redacted], lol i forgive you.

xoxo jenn

this was published January 27, 2024 under living laughing childhood school