halloweens of yesterjenn
a couple of weeks ago we did a halloween episode of hoobastank2 where pj vogt of reply all came on and talked about the spoooky topic of improv comedy – it was really good, check out the interview here. the show was so chill that it ran pretty long so i volunteered the slaughtering of my segment for time - if the show went any longer my face makeup would have gone permanent.
i love halloween because dressing up is fun and fun rules. because of these unprecendented times™ i didn't have any parties to go to, but fortunately i had the stream to dress up for. and i scoured through every photograph on my computer taken in the months of october and november over the past 30 years to find me in past halloweens. it was a journey. anyway, without further delay as this is already over 2 weeks late...
let’s take a tour through halloweens of yesterjenn.
1990, lydia from beetlejuice but dressed in white
i'm dressed in white in the center. i wanted to be lydia from beetlejuice but i didn't have a red dress, but pretended i was her anyway. my best friend, jimmy, was beetlejuice and his aunt and uncle were clowns - which was cheating because they were actually clowns by trade.
i give this costume one out of five pumpkins for "one of many times my guardians have disappointed and embarrassed me" 🎃
1993, waitress who has been through some shit
my dad's wife printed me a label that said "Jennifer" and "Waitress" and i carried a notepad and pencil. i don't know how i got fake blood on my white sweatshirt, but let's just pretend it was part of the narrative.
two out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃
2007, hot nurse
i got a sexy nurse costume that was too big, and shortly after this photo was taken i almost passed out from exhaustion. a week of testing later and i was diagnosed with mono. this was my first quarter of graduate school and i had to spend most of it on the couch because my organs were so swollen.
three out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃
2011, hot hamburglar
this halloween was almost cancelled due to a bizarre snow storm that shut down most of the town. i danced my ass off that night and looked spectacular doing it.
five out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
2013, dinosaur jr
this year my pal lisa and i went as musical puns. she was "french kiss" and i was "dinosaur jr." i wore a dinosaur onesie with flannel and a little backpack. at least lisa got the joke.
four out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃
2015, garth
here is my pal lisa again, but as elvis, and me as garth (from wayne's world) and our other pal bram was pizza rat. yes, we're just casually hanging out in a cemetery - it's a long story that jersey city folks know. what's actually important to point out is that this was part of yet another platonic couples costume:
juan and i decided to go as wayne and garth because we both wanted to wear wigs. i paid $40 on aerosmith's website for that t-shirt and it was most definitely drop-shipped from zazzle.
three out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃
2016, wayne
it was only natural that the following year that juan and i swap costumes. pure laziness.
two out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃
fortunately, i stepped my game up just a couple of days later...
also 2016, hot wayne
honestly, schwiiing!
six out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
2017, cassowary
cassowaries are considered the most dangerous birds in the world and they can't even fly. idiots! i fashioned a beak out of paper, and you may recognize the dinosaur onesie there that i lent to my pal phil.
creative but not horny, three out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃
2019, elizabeth holmes
everyone at work was going to be dressing up for halloween, so i bought a blonde wig at the local pop-up costume shop and went as an american business woman with a fear of needles.
four out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃 even tinashe lol'd.
and that leads to this years costume:
2020, hot alice cooper
it only made sense that i put some skills i learned over the summer to work and show up to our stream in full, glorious all-over-the-face eyeliner. from the amount of makeup used, it's probably the most effort i've put into a costume, and it was worth it.
six out of five pumpkins 🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
i hope you enjoyed this walk down memory lane with me. hopefully next halloween the world will be a bit safer to go out in and i can finally go and party dressed as an anarchist cheerleader from the smells like teen spirit video. maybe some of y'all can join me!
xoxo jenn
